THE BETTER LIFE, LIVED UNDER THE SON

“As A True Partner In One’s Labor”
Ecclesiastes 4:4-12
Bob Bonner
January 10, 1999

Recently, I was watching a news program that was reporting on the mine fields in northern Iraq. Much of the report focused on all of the unnecessary deaths and serious injuries taking place among young, innocent children as a result of having strayed onto one of those mine fields. The camera showed a vast landscape, somewhat similar to our upper desert areas in Oregon, where as far as the eye could see there wasn’t a house, building or anything that looked man-made or gave one even a clue of the dangers that lay just inches below the dirt. If it weren’t for the clearly marked black and white, skull and bones signs on the edge of the field, you would not know the danger that lurked just below the sand. Millions upon millions of land mines had been planted in this area to protect Iraq’s northern borders from the Kurds who would love the opportunity to rise up against Saddam Hussein and his evil regime. However, children who see those signs know what they mean, but look at that vast land that appears harmless, can’t believe it to be so, and wander into the mine field to their own destruction.

As I thought about that scene, I reflected upon how we are just like those little children. We have a spiritual enemy who is very devious and subtle. He would like nothing more than to destroy our lives while we live, to bring heartache and misery to us; to make us useless as mighty vessels in God’s hands. One of his ploys is to lure us onto spiritual mine fields of hidden sins, deceiving us into believing that those hidden sins, those sins of the heart that others cannot readily see, sins like jealousy, wrongful ambition, pride, deception, greed, covetousness, rivalry, those sins, he would have us believe, are not dangerous to our soul. When in fact, they can be fatal to our spiritual life, because we can’t see the obvious immediate dangers of these easily disguised or hidden sins, even though we can read the signs that say, “Don’t envy, don’t be greedy, don’t live life with a spirit of rivalry” even though we see the signs, we waltz out onto this mine field anyway, thinking, “It can’t be all that bad. I don’t see evidence of harm out there.” Then the inevitable happens: you step on one of those hidden sins and it explodes, ripping your heart out.

Oscar Wilde told this following story about the hidden sin of envy or rivalry. He wrote, “The devil was once crossing the Libyan Desert, and he came upon a spot where a number of small fiends were tormenting a holy hermit. The sainted man easily shook off their evil suggestions. The devil watched their failure, and then he stepped forward to give them a lesson. ‘What you do is too crude,’ he said. ‘Permit me for one moment.’ With that the devil whispered to the holy man, ‘Your brother has just been made Bishop of Alexandria.’  A scowl of malignant jealousy at once clouded the serene face of the hermit. ‘That,’ said the devil to his imps, ‘is the sort of thing which I should recommend.’”

When it comes to our work, whether that be our work at school, on a sports team, in our marriages or family, or caring for a loved one, or our jobs or ministry, envy and rivalry are extremely dangerous. And if we wander onto that spiritual mine field of envy and rivalry, the end product will ultimately be a sense of loneliness and/or futility. If you have worked hard, but with a heart of rivalry and an “anything-goes” attitude to get to the top, once you are there you will discover that you are alone. You may have all of the marbles, but you won’t have anyone with whom to play. Life, in turn, will be meaningless.

That, in a nutshell, is the subject of our passage of Scripture for study this morning, in Ecclesiastes 4:4-12. Solomon wants us to see how we can work hard and get the most out of our labors, as we strive to do the best at whatever it is that we are doing, and avoid the minefield of envy and rivalry. 

The words of this section are written to all of us, but they appear to me to best be heard by those who are senior executives, the high rollers, the movers and shakers of our community. For many in this realm look successful and fulfilled. They appear as though they have it made, but they really haven’t. They hide their pain well. While they may look to be victors on the outside, more often than not they are victims; victims of their own approach to their work.

Keep in mind, that the words that we are about to read do not come from one who is on the bottom rung of the ladder, trying to get to the top. These words are written by a king in the height of his glory. He is not looking from the ground up. As king, his vantage point is from the top. He has arrived.

Furthermore, if you look at verse 4 and verse 7, you read the opening words of those two verses, and they say, “And I have seen...,” and, “Then I looked again.” The point being that the following words are not just the result of some philosophical discussion dreamed up in a classroom somewhere. No, these thoughts come from real life experiences that are going on around Solomon, right then. This is the stuff that goes on around you at the office or in the home or in the classroom as you are laboring at your work.

In verses 4-6, we see what drives many of us in our work. In addition, we see two extremes as to one’s approach to work. Both are out of balance and need help. Verses 7-12, give us some wise words as to the way we should approach our work, how we can find balance between these two extremes. However, these wise words, true as they are, are incomplete. For they come from the vantage point of one who is trying to figure out life apart from the God who created us. The truth contained here comes from one who is living “under the sun,” whose wisdom is limited to the human vantage point. There is truth in these verses, but something is missing. There needs to be some added insight from God to make it complete. We will come to that at the end of our study.

In verse 4, we have the first approach to one’s work. It is the approach of the foolish competitor. Solomon writes, “And I have seen that every labor and every skill which is done is the result of rivalry [or “of envy of a man”] between a man and his neighbor. This too is vanity and striving after wind.”

The terms “labor” and “skill” are not mere synonyms. These two words refer to two entirely different aspects of one’s work. The word for “labor” refers to the hard work , the sweat, the energy, the practice put into a goal or a project. The term “skill” refers to the product developed from that labor. That product could be an achievement of an award, a prestigious position, the invention and production of a new widget, or the ability to take your earnings from your labor to buy the newest and best whatever.

For instance: an individual may go to a driving range at a golf course and “labor” or “practice” trying to hit a golf ball far and straight. If he learns from that hard practice, practice, practice, then the individual might develop the “skill” of hitting the ball far and straight. That skill is the end result or end product of his effort or labor. It is his achievement. It is the success of his work.

Solomon says that what commonly drives this type of hard intensive labor is a spirit of envy or rivalry. That spirit of trying to get ahead of the Joneses so that you will be admired or looked up to, rather than from the mere pleasure of learning to hit a golf ball straight. His point here is that to make it your goal that your home, your car, your family, your occupation, your position more successful or revered than someone else’s is foolish. There is nothing wrong with being the best or the club champion or earning the right to be the president of a corporation or country, or having nice things, or a close-knit family. That’s not the point here. Solomon’s point here, is that which so often drives people to success is their need for others’ approval. It’s the need to hear, “Oh, how lucky you must feel to have such a nice new car.” Or, “It must make you feel proud to see your children succeed.” Or, “It must make you feel good to know that you have reached the top of your field.” 

Bottom line, we want to be the center of attention, and that drives us, and that is evil, or “miserable” or “worthless” as Solomon tells us later. This drivenness produces workaholics--mothers and fathers who are rarely home to nurture their children or their marriages.  In the end, this attitude of trying to be the most successful person in the world is chasing after the wind. It’s a waste of one’s energy. He will tell us why in a moment.

All of us begin the race of life, not just to run, but to win, which translated for too many can only mean, to be number one. To finish first. But there can only be one first place, and if millions are striving for it, what happens to those who never make it. Hopefully, their goal or their concept of winning is to run the race for different reasons. For instance: Maybe their goal in life is just to finish the race, or to do their best, or to simply enjoy the run. If it is to be number one, one of two results will happen. If they start to win, they will become addicted to winning and to the applause that goes with it. They work harder to remain on top, only to discover that they can’t stay there. When they learn that they can’t, or when they arrive at the top, they realize that it is empty and lonely up there. In the end, it is meaningless.

On the other hand, there is a second possible opposite and extreme approach to the race of life. There is the person in verse 5 who begins the race of life with everyone else and sees that he or she can’t keep up with the rest of the pack. This person may get stepped on by others who want to pass him by. When he realizes that he will not make it to being first, he quits running altogether. He drops out or becomes loner. Solomon says, in contrast to the workaholic in verse 4, in verse 5, “The fool folds his hands and consumes his own flesh.”

This person is one of those who decides to no longer be a part of the rat race. They go on relief or social security when they don’t need to. They don’t want to be a part of shaping their society. Instead, they become a part of the counter culture. But when you don’t work, you don’t get paid. And when you don’t get paid, you end up devouring or “consuming your own flesh.” There are two possible ways to interpret that expression. The word for flesh could mean “meat.” If that is what it means, his point is that when you quit working, your stored up resources of meat get all eaten up and you are left to starve. Or this could mean that literally, your body begins to turn inward on itself, and the energy required to support your life comes from your body eating up itself. In other words, you starve to death.

One writer I read thinks this is not to be taken literally, but figuratively. Hence, he believes that Solomon’s point in consuming one’s flesh is to point to the loss of self-respect. Any way you cut it, dropping out is not the way to go.

So there you have the two extreme approaches and results of people who started out life to win the race. One naturally has abilities that enables him to run with the big dogs, so he keeps at it in hopes of reaching the top. He becomes a workaholic. Another, not too far into the race reads the handwriting on the wall and drops out.

There needs to be a better way. There needs to be some balance to one’s life in the midst of the rat race. Solomon gives us that balance in verse 6. He says, “One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind.” In contrast to the person who folds his hands across his chest as a sign of quitting or resignation, here in verse 6 we have a picture of two clenched fists, hard at work. The balance is to have one (literally, “palm”) hand relaxed and open, which is a symbol of rest or taking a break, and the other hard at work. Wise is the person who learns how to relax hard and how to work hard.

But if you and I are going to learn how to maintain that balance, we won’t be able to do it alone. We need to take on a partner, one who will hold us accountable. That’s the point of verses 7-12. 

In verses 7-8, he points out why it is dangerous to work alone, trying to get to the top. He says, “Then I looked again at vanity under the sun. There was a certain man without a dependent, [literally, without “a partner.” In other words, he is alone.] having neither a son nor a brother, [usually, back in Solomon’s day, businesses were family businesses. Your partners were your dependents or family members] yet there was no end to all his labor.” This term “labor” is a negative term to refer to one’s work. It’s a job!.” 

This guy worked alone. With no one to tell him to “take a break” or to help him gain perspective on his work, he just kept his head down working hard til he died or burned out. There was no end to his labor.

Furthermore, even though if his vocation had begun as a fun challenge or something he enjoyed, over time it lost its sense of fun or fulfillment. His work had become a meaningless job. 

And as it is with many avenues that “meaninglessness” walks down, soon it is joined by two common companions, whose names are “loneliness” and “emptiness” or that inability to enjoy life’s pleasures along the way. That’s what Solomon points to next.After investing most of his life in trying to reach his goals or achieving whatever will bring him the applause or approval of others, Solomon wakes up. We read, “Indeed, his eyes were not satisfied with riches and he never asked, ‘And for whom am I laboring and depriving myself of pleasure?’" If your translations have the word “never” in them, you should strike it out. The word “never” is not in the original language. It should read He asked, “And for whom am I laboring?” Solomon is signaling to us that one day he just woke up realizing that he had the ability to buy anything he wanted and had been doing so for quite some time, but suddenly realizes that possessions don’t bring happiness. So, he stops himself, and asks, “Who am I working this hard for? I don’t even have anyone to leave what I have possessed or made.  I’m lonely. Furthermore, what happened to enjoying a little relaxation? I have lost the ability to enjoy pleasure.  To enjoy a hobby or walk in the woods.” It’s the idea that “all work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.” Solomon adds, “This too is vanity and it is a grievous [ or “miserable” or “worthless”] task.” 

Even without walking with God, this worldly Solomon realizes that being a lonely workaholic is a miserable way to spend one’s life.

The plight of working alone so that you can reach the top for yourself, to be the sole person on top, is a danger to avoid. Whether you are talking about trying to be a valedictorian in school, or to be all conference in your position or sport, or to be personally satisfied in your family, or to have the best ministry to a group of people, you can’t do it by yourself, competing against everyone else in the world, and find pleasure in it in the end. 

So how does one find the balance between being a lonely workaholic and being a dropout who gives up? How do you find pleasure or reward in your tasks?  Verses 9-12 tell us that the solution is for you to find a partner. Understand, a partner is someone with whom you are not in competition. There is no rivalry between you. If your partnership is infected with rivalry or competition or envy, it will only be a matter of time before you turn on each other, and break the partnership.

Hence, the solution to continuing the race, without becoming a dropout or a workaholic is to find a friend or two to work with you. When you do that, you will discover four benefits to not working alone.

The first benefit is listed in verse 9. Solomon says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.” With a partner, and all things being equal in the economy of things, you can make more and maybe even have some time to relax. So, one benefit is profit.

A second benefit is given in verse 10. Solomon says, “For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” In Solomon’s day, people would work and travel in long garments. The pathways they often traveled were rocky and uneven. Some of those paths were next to deep ravines. If you were walking or working in a long garment and lost your balance or got tangled in it, you could fall down the side of a mountain and live, but not able to climb back up. If you were alone, pity you. You’re dead. But if you have a partner, he can help raise you up.

Anyone who is self-employed or has his or her heart set on reaching a goal, knows the attacks or battles with discouragement that can come. When you are alone and fall emotionally, you have no one there to pick you up. But with a partner, together you have a better chance of seeing things through a proper perspective. Partners help calm the troubled waters of the soul, so that we can continue on doing our jobs.

If we should make a mistake, there is a partner to come alongside to help. In college and graduate school, I learned quickly that if I was going to learn all that I wanted, I needed to get into a study group and share notes, discuss possible exam questions etc. If I didn’t understand something and someone else did, they could teach me and they would benefit from learning more about the subject by teaching me. If they were sick and could not attend a lecture, then they could borrow my notes. Together, we stirred up in one another our best possible performance.

This reminds me of two New Testament passages. The first is Galatians 6:1-2 , “Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore [pick up] such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.”

As Christians, we have only one enemy, and that is not each other or anyone made of flesh and blood. We are never one another’s enemy. Sure, we will fail, let one another down. But through forgiveness and turning away from sin, and the encouragement of one another, we are stronger against Satan together, than we are apart.

Although it is true that each of us is responsible for our own individual walk with the Lord, we were not created to walk with God in isolation. We were created to walk in fellowship with one another. Look at the three most common illustrations of the church. It is a building made up of many bricks, each brick being a believer. We are a body with many parts working in partnership together. We are a family. You don’t have a family of one. It is always more than one. Some time or another we all fall and need each other’s helping hand.

The second New Testament passage I’m reminded of is Hebrews 10:24, where we read, “And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.”  There the writer is reminding us as believers, that whether we like one another or not, we are partners in Christ. Furthermore, this precedes the command that we should not forsake worshiping and fellowshipping together, because that provokes us to do good.

So Solomon says that the second benefit to having a partner in a study group or ministry or task, is that together, you can provoke one another to good works. (I know it should probably read “stimulate” not “provoke” but I needed a “p” for alliteration purposes!) So, having a partner helps us when we fall down. Having a partner encourages us to keep working for the good of the project. Having a partner helps us maintain a good and correct perspective.

The third benefit of having a partner is given in verse 11. We read, “Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?”  Many who read these verses immediately think of marriage. Although it certainly can apply to marriage, marriage is not specifically what Solomon has in mind here.

 n the desert land of Palestine, it is warm during the day, but very cold at night. Public sleeping quarters were unheated, and the latticed windows allowed the cold air to come in. The beds were only mats on the floor, and no blankets were provided. So the only protection one would have would be one’s outer garment. These outer garments were thick and heavy enough that they could double as blankets at night.

But sometimes, one blanket was not warm enough in those could nights, so it was common for two workers to share both of their two outer garments, using them as two blankets and they would crawl under them together to keep warm. If you were lying there alone, you would be shivering. Hence, a third benefit of having a partner is that of provision. When you don’t have enough to get by, you can share with your partner.

The final and fourth benefit of having a partner is stated in verse 12, “And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”  The idea here is that of protection. By yourself, when danger comes, you will be easily overpowered. But if you have a partner, you stand a better chance of survival. A third partner is better yet.

This raises several questions, like, Where does one find such a partner?” And, “How does one be a faithful partner and maintain that relationship?” The answer to both of those questions is found in John 15:14-15. Previous to these two verses, Jesus has explained that if we as disciples want to grow in our faith and learn to become godly men and women, we must have a relationship or partnership with Jesus Christ, Jesus being the lead partner. We need to have a relationship with Christ that is characterized by us obeying Him, abiding or waiting upon Him by faith, as He works His will in and through our lives.

As we do that, Jesus tells us something, in verse 14. He says, “You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” Jesus uses a special term here for “friend.” It is a term used by a king to refer to his most trusted advisors, those individuals who are most closely connected to him. They are the king’s friends in that he shares his innermost concerns with them. However, he still remains king and they still submit to him.

The secret to finding a friend is to first make Jesus your friend, by entrusting your life to Him as your Lord and Savior. As you walk in obedience to Him, He in turn will treat you as a friend. As we look to Christ’s model of what a friend does, we learn to become a friend with whom someone else would like to partner. Through Christ, He will lead us to like-minded quality friends, friends who have chosen to make Him number one in their lives, friends who will not be loners or so ambitiously aggressive that they will walk all over you to get to their goals. As friends of Christ, we look not to serve our own interests, but our goal in life is together to serve Him and His interests.

Notice that Solomon said that two was good, but three strands make even a better or stronger cord. I see those strands of friendship to include me, Jesus, and at least one other. Through this kind of accountable friendship, I can experience the benefits of profit, provoking to good works, provision, and protection.

The perfect example of this is a marriage. Marriage takes three persons for it to be all that it can be, physically, soulishly and spiritually. You may be sitting there and saying, “I’m not a Christian, but I have a good marriage.” I understand. But I also understand that you couldn’t know any different, that you have second best, because you haven’t lived as a committed follower of Jesus Christ with a partner who is also a committed follower of Jesus Christ.

I have dealt with many a couple who, before both spouses had learned to live as a committed couples to Jesus Christ, thought they had a good marriage. But once they both became committed Christians, they couldn’t believe the difference Jesus made in their marriage and their raising of children, and even doing the mundane tasks of taking care of a house, making meals etc. With Jesus as the lead partner in the relationship, when problems came up, Jesus was the referee. When Jesus tells the two parties, who are in the midst of a conflict, to forgive and move on, He also provides the supernatural power to do so. 

Quite often I hear from one or both committed Christian spouses, “Why did we wait so long, to entrust our lives and marriage to Jesus Christ? What a difference He has made. He has not only been our third Partner, but He has taught us what it takes to be a good partner to one another.”

This past Christmas, one of my kids gave me a set of CD’s of one of my favorite recording duos, Simon and Garfunkel.  Paul Simon wrote a song to those troubled young adults of the 60's that reassured them, that when everything else fails and falls, when there is nothing but trouble all around, there’s one thing that will get them through--a friend. That friend will be like a “bridge over troubled waters.” Look at the words to the second verse of that song:

When you’re down and out, when you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part. Oh! 
When darkness comes and pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled waters, I will lay me down.

Notice, he didn’t say, “When you are in trouble, I’ll give you a book to read or some drugs or a job. He said, “I’ll give you me.” That’s what Jesus did. He laid down His life for you to be your friend, your partner, to help you find meaning in life. Jesus is the model partner. If you have not already submitted your life to His partnership, why not do so now?

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