Totally Supported

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
March 7, 2010
Joe Burgess

We have a lot of phrases to describe how we are doing at any moment in time. Some of those which indicate that we might be on the edge of losing it are ones such as “frayed,” or “coming unraveled” or “hanging on by a thread.” Another one of these is “coming apart at the seams.” All of them have to do with something that once was bound and intact coming undone in some way, and as a result of that losing strength, and possibly even breaking under the stress.

This is a condition that all of us at one time or another have experienced, and some of you maybe have found it a condition in which you are currently living or might have lived for an extended period of time. In the field of crisis counseling it is commonly held that there are certain factors that are critical to a person finding stability during these tough times and stressful life events. These factors are generally thought to include having a realistic perception of the situation, being surrounded with adequate situational support, and possessing adequate coping mechanisms.

In seminary I had to write an analysis of a popular crisis counseling model (or paradigm), and consider its strengths and weaknesses. In looking at the model outlined by this one particular author I found that she had done a good job of observing people and the things that bring them to a place of balance after a stressful event. In thinking about her observations of man and his ability to return or not return to a place of stability after a stressful event, I thought of the three balancing factors she presented and how God has already provided for each of them.

Her first factor was to have a right perspective. Here I saw it as the difference between having a God-centered “God is Greater” perspective or a man-centered “God in a Box” perspective. From the “God in a box” viewpoint the perceptions have to come from within. We have to come up with a viewpoint that makes sense of everything, and the degree to which we find satisfaction is based upon the level to which we can justify or put to rest what has happened in our own minds. With the “God is Greater” perspective we know that we belong to God, and that there is absolutely nothing that comes to us but that which has been filtered through His hands and over which He is totally sovereign. Along with this we have all of the promises and examples of Scripture about His constant watch care over us.

Romans 8:26-28, “And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. … What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?”

On February 7^th I had a chance to speak about this in a message titled “Totally Comforting” as we looked at Psalm 139 and God as our great comforter and protector.

The third factor in the model was to possess adequate coping mechanisms. How many of you have either said or heard said, “I can’t cope with” or “I can’t take this anymore.” In looking at this aspect I found that as believers in Christ we have been given the very counsel of God through His written Word. I got to speak about this in November with a message titled “Totally Sufficient” as we looked at 2 Timothy 3:16-17 and a number of other verses. It is so awesome that we have been given the word of God to guide our steps, whereas man only has his own dimly lit ways and his sin clouded wisdom. Remember what Paul told Timothy, “All Scripture is inspired by God [literally “God-breathed”] and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” In Psalm 119:105 we read, “Thy word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.” Man at his best is limited in coming up with answers to help people cope. Our God is without any limits to His knowledge, understanding and wisdom. We need to be people who find our rest, our rock, our stability in God. We can cope because He gives us the ability to do it. “God is faithful!”

The middle rung of the author’s crisis model is situational support that is either adequate leading to stability or inadequate leading to further and deeper crisis. This is the one that we are going to look at today. In my re-worked version of her model which is in the lobby I answered her observation of the need for adequate situational support with God’s answer, the “Body of Christ and the work of the Spirit.”

There can be no doubt that we need others. We need God. We need the salvation brought by His Son—Jesus, and we need the constant indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We need the writings of those who have gone before us and whose lives are recorded for us in the Word of God, and we need those people who surround us right now. We were created as relational beings, and there is absolutely no doubt of this.

Yet, when stuff happens most of us find ourselves drawing inside and closing others out. And in doing so we are cutting off one of the very aspects of strength and stability that God has intended and provided.

Each year at Cub Scout Day Camp some of the boys get to make a rope. They start with a long strand of sisal twine like you might use to tie up newspapers. It is definitely not something that you would use to tie down anything heavy or that you really wanted to keep in place. But it definitely is adequate for lighter tasks. They take this twine and divide it into thirds and then they spin those thirds into one piece. In doing this they make it significantly stronger. But they are not done. They next take this spun three-stranded piece and divide it again in thirds and proceed to spin it in the opposite direction until it is tight. However, before they can cut the rope from the device they used to make it they have to tie off the ends. If they don’t then the whole thing will come quickly unwound. But once done they have a new rope suitable for all kinds of uses and strong enough to endure heavy loads.

As I grew as a Christian I began to see this picture of rope making—how it takes a weak and ineffective single strand and binds it together sealed in such a way that it won’t come unraveled as a picture of God drawing us together in Christ to form His church held together by the constant working of His Spirit.

Today we are going to take a look at a short, but intensely packed and meaningful passage of Scripture found in Ecclesiastes. These verses regularly amaze me as I find them quoted in so many different situations, and their application truly does cross so many lines from friendship, marriages, families, work, the church, and each of these with God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit. The principle is so rich that it truly is applicable across the board and truly reflects the relational wiring that God has created us with.

If you haven’t turned there yet, would you turn to Ecclesiastes, chapter 4 as we read verses 9-12. For those of you who have to pause to find Ecclesiastes. It immediately follows Proverbs—or somewhere near the middle of your Bibles.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”

Bob walked us through Ecclesiastes back in late 1998 and early 1999, and he taught on these verses in January of 1999. He titled that message “The better life, lived under the Son.” And for us who have been through trials as non-Christians and then as Christians I think this can be clearly understood. For those of us who have drawn back into ourselves and closed out God and others during tough times and yet at other times have experienced the strength and freshness that comes from being fully cared for we can know that the better life is truly lived under the Son—Jesus Christ, the One and only Son of God, His only begotten Son—the one through whom all things were spoke into existence and the one who, as we read in Colossians 1:16-17, holds all things together—whether it is the loose threads of our lives or the atoms of our universe.

God created us as relational beings, and we are at our best when we are in godly relationships.

In verses 9-11 of Ecclesiastes 4 we find four examples of the benefit of not being alone. The first of those is that we simply are more productive. It doesn’t matter whether it is at home, at work, or in the church. When we have someone to share the load with us we can be more productive. A doctor I was seeing a few years ago was a part of a practice here in town with a number of other doctors who brought all kinds of knowledge and experience to the table along with the ability to cover for one another in their absences. Along with that also came a full office support team. He was able to flourish and grow his business in that environment. But then the doctor who knit this team together had to close the office because of his health. My doctor was now on his own and struggled to make his practice work until one day I got a letter informing me that his office was closing. Now I am seeing another doctor who is flourishing with full support.

When you look through the phone books or see ads on TV how often to you see a string of names tied to various agencies. Contractors find that while they may be able to do some things by themselves they can be much more productive if they have someone working with or for them. Dishes, laundry, and yardwork get done a whole lot better when there is someone to help. Even here at church we see the benefits of many people making lighter work leading to greater benefit.

Verse 10 gives us another benefit of others. “For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.” As we are walking side by side with one another we find that we have someone to help us or that we might help when a stumbling block or obstacle gets in our way. It may be physical, emotional, logistical or any number of other “als” that you can think of. But the truth is that every one of us has times when we need help, and having someone that you are close to and whom you can depend on is a great treasure.

Today as Bob, William and Ryan are at a conference with others from this church and many more from other churches, Dave, myself and many others can step in in a variety of ways to help. Last month when Bob had pneumonia several people stepped in to help. When a teacher gets sick on Sunday mornings or knows that he or she needs a regular break or even classroom help, it is the rest who are so necessary to provide that help and support.

In Genesis 2:18 we read that after God had created man and placed him in the garden with all of his food needs met, Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” So what did God do, he created all of the animals and every other living thing and gave man charge over them. And Adam did the man thing, he proceeded to name each and every one of them. But in so doing he realized that while they had their mates, he was missing something. It was then that God created woman—a helper suitable for man.

My parents set a good example for me of what it meant when one was really struggling to have someone else there by your side to lift you up. And in our 30 years of marriage, I cannot count the times where Robin has been there at my side or that I have had the privilege to be at hers. Sadly though, I probably cannot count the times where I have failed her and was not properly the companion of whom Solomon spoke here in Ecclesiastes. But in this we also know that the bond which God has allowed us to experience is one that has withstood those times of disappointment and has allowed us to enjoy all of the rest.

In the middle of these benefits of having a close companion are reminders of the hardships of loneliness— “But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” We know that there is an eternal tragedy for those who die without having a relationship with Christ. The result of this is judgment and eternal separation from God. On a much smaller scale, is the emptiness we feel when we stumble or fall and there is no one there to help. As I was working on this message there was a news story about a man who was an experienced hiker, who was even out with a companion, but he got out on a cornice of Mt. St. Helen and the cornice collapsed under him and he fell into the depths of the crater. As the news reported, his friend heard his fallen partner blow his emergency whistle and there was nothing the friend could do other than to call for help, and that help was too late to do any good. This individual had truly fallen in such a way that no human was there to lift him up. What I don’t know is whether or not he had another friend in Christ and as such saw that friend lift him into eternity.

For those who have gone through the breakup of a relationship and possibly the betrayal of a love, you know the hurt that also accompanies knowing that someone you depended upon to be there for you isn’t. It is in these times that we need to remember that we are not without help or hope. We have a God who encloses us before and behind, and whose hand is on our shoulders. And He has placed us in a body of believers who are intended to come alongside us in our times of struggle.

Companions are so valuable to each and every one of us, because the simple truth is that we all fail and we all fall, and we do so in a variety of ways as Scripture and experience has clearly shown us.

Verse 11 continues with the benefits of a close companion while at the same time keeping in place the warning that comes about being alone. “Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?” For those who are married this has a special meaning, especially if one of you is always warm and the other is seeking to keep her toes warm. After Robin and I got married we went out before our first summer together and bought a lot of camping gear—you know stove, ice chest, lantern, tent, air mattress, and two sleeping bags that zip together. We enjoyed these for a long time.

Last August our oldest son, Daniel, and his new wife Hannah joined us for a campout on his birthday, and we gave him (for them) a larger tent, an air mattress, and of course a couple of sleeping bags that zip together. Last weekend, we went up to see Ben to surprise him for his birthday and gave him a similar gift as he got married in July. I think Tommy might guess what he will get for his birthday in August as he is getting married in July. 

But this verse pictures more than the physical warmth of survival. It speaks of the warmth that comes from being close to someone and having someone close to you whether it be a spouse, kids, family, friends, trusted co-workers, the church body, or our Lord Himself. We think of being warm as being comfortable, and there is comfort in knowing that you have close and enduring relationships.

Conversely there are those who have experienced being alone and who know it as a cold and desolate place. And, as shown in the Charles Dickens story of The Christmas Carol we know the coldness of the heart of Ebenezer Scrooge and how it was melted away as he was shown not only what he was missing, but just how miserable he had become and how that impacted those around him with the result that he came to experience freedom and joy in relationships like he had not known in many, many years. What many don’t know is the harshness of life that Dickens had experienced as a child and young man. Dickens spent most of his life promoting social causes and embraced a very loose view of Christianity in his later years, leaving us to wonder if he really ever did find a peace here through Christ that carried him into an eternal peace with God.

Busyness might keep the mind active and the blood flowing, but at night time will it bring peace and warmth?

Then in verse 12 we find the statement that takes it all up a notch. “And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” We live in a difficult world and there is a real enemy. We all have days when we lose hope and when we need someone to come alongside us to remind us to keep looking toward and trusting in God.

Alone we are defenseless. We are like the strand of twine trying to hold us down with a storm crashing in. But spun together with another person our strength increases, and if two bring greater strength what about three who are bound. I started off with some statements that people use when they are “at the end of their rope.” And, to be quite honest on our own there is always going to be an end to that rope and a frailty to it as well such that we will not endure all that comes our way. But Scripture tells us loud and clear that this is not how things are supposed to be.

There is an old saying that there is strength in numbers. But those numbers have to be thinking similarly and moving in the same direction or they become nothing more than a mob or frayed ends—where everyone does what is right in his own eyes and the result is large numbers of single people.

There are a lot of applications to this statement about a cord or rope of three strands not easily being undone. This can refer to the benefit of having more people by your side. It can refer to the growth of a family as children are added to the union of a husband and wife, and it definitely can speak of the necessary inclusion of Christ into a marriage.

Having more support than just one other person is critical to all of us. There are times when husbands need a more mature male to help him with some struggles and similarly for wives. There are times when one person might not be available, but another is, and there are times as we even see in the issue of church discipline where we might not listen to one, but we will listen to two or three.

First and foremost, we are all lost and hopeless apart from God. He created us and He knows what is best for us. When we try to live life apart from Him we are subject to everything that the fallen world has to throw at us with only the frailest of human defense.

We are all lost and hopeless for all eternity without a relationship with Jesus Christ. God declares that we are all sinners and that not one of us has any enduring quality which gives us a right to approach a perfect, just, and holy God. We were all sinners, unable to do anything about it, and Christ died for us to pay the penalty for that sin. Not only did He die, but He was buried taking our sin with Him into the grave, and He was raised again on the third day bringing us new life as well—all of this was done according to the Scriptures that were written hundreds of years in advance and according to will and work of God. Now that same Christ, Scripture tells us, is sitting at the right hand of God interceding on our behalf.

And as Jesus knew he would have to leave His followers for a season, He also knew that God the Father had prepared another like Him to come upon us to comfort, teach and guide us until that time that we are once again ushered into their presence. The account of the Holy Spirit being given to all believers is what Bob started to talk about last week and will continue with next week as we look at the events of the day of Pentecost recorded in Acts chapter 2. It is with the Spirit’s coming that we have all become empowered by God.

So, first and foremost—apart from God we are alone in the most important way. We are missing the ultimate relationship, the one we were created to enjoy—one with the Living triune God—Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Once we have believed in Jesus Christ for our salvation and trusted Him to keep His promises then we are ushered into this most enduring of relationships—one from which no one can snatch us.

Beyond that, at the point we become a Christian we are placed into another enduring relationship—one which exists by the work of God but is perfected as we each do our part. Ephesians is an incredible letter by Paul about the church, and how it is to be knit together. We read in Ephesians chapter 4 about the importance of our being united in spirit and how we are to build into each other—how we are to walk rightly before God and one another as we serve Him arm and arm—or more appropriately as a completely orchestrated set of body parts.

The church is a powerful living instrument of God displaying His love to a world that so desperately needs to hear some good news. It is a powerful instrument of God displaying His power to a people who have known defeat in life—both inside and outside the church. And it is a powerful instrument of God’s compassion, mercy and grace to change lives and to grow those lives daily into what will proudly be one day presented to Christ as His beautiful bride. Ephesians tells us that we have a Lord who gave Himself for us because He loves us, and that He continues to nourish and cherish us as His church-each of us as members of His body.

In the church we potentially have a oneness that the world can only dream of. The reason I say “potentially” is that while it is true that Christ has put us together into one body, as body members we sometimes fight amongst one another or slough off on our part throwing more of the burden on others.

This is where we need to look at the church even more intimately, where we need to look at those individuals whom we have been given a direct relationship with, and how we can get a better return for our efforts, better help those who are stumbling, better warm those who are hurting, and better support those who are under attack.

We have been given the ability to know God and understand His constant watchcare and direction in our lives. We have been given the privilege of holding His Word in our hands and having His Spirit bring it to life for us. And we have been given the blessing of having brothers and sisters in Christ who we can look to along with our God in order to support one another in this journey we are engaged as children of God called and set apart for His good works.

John tells us in 1 John 3:23-24, “And this is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. And the one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And we know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.”

When we think about the cord of three strands we need to be constantly mindful that running prominently through that rope is the work and the person of Jesus Christ who binds us together and the Spirit of God who actively abides in each one of us. Even if no one else is present in our life at that time we have the constant presence of God and He has promised that He will bring us through each trial.

Beyond that, we need to be mindful that as believers in Jesus Christ we have been placed into the church and the church has a purpose which is not only to reach out to the lost but to build up each other in love and even in that to be an example to the world that needs to see God.

Then we need to be even more specific and consider those individuals that God has placed into our lives or whose lives we have been placed into that we might walk beside one another through the various struggles that God allows to come our way.

Many of you know that Bill Method has Huntington’s Disease. He and Ann are just one couple in our fellowship who are struggling. In their case Bill needs a lot of attention and Ann needs a lot of encouragement and probably some help around the home. Bill’s disease is both devastating and demanding. It can turn someone you love into someone you dread at times. Ann gets very tired both physically and emotionally. Something as simple as one of the guys from our fellowship taking Bill out for a few hours during a day or maybe one of the couples just going over for a while and seeing what can be done—which if nothing else can serve as an encouragement to them both. Bill’s disease is not an easy disease to be around, but even in this it did not happen apart from God allowing it and his hands enclosing them and any of us who reach out to them.

I know there are others who need to know more fully the benefit spoken of here in Ecclesiastes. Take some time this week to consider who you are close to, and how you are doing in aiding, encouraging and supporting those individuals. If you are in a marriage look for an opportunity to praise your spouse for what he or she has done recently to be a help to you. Similarly, if there is an area where you need some help take a risk and ask.

If you find that you are regularly trying to struggle through on your own, take some time to admit this to God, think about who He is and how He has shown His faithfulness to you in the past. Also, ask Him to go before you as you seek to allow others into your shell. A good place to do this might be through joining a home group, taking a discipleship class, or just asking someone if you can get together for the afternoon or such.

And, if you have never trusted Christ to forgive your sins and joined in a relationship with Him, then I strongly encourage you to do so. This is where life really begins.

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