CALLED TO BE A FAMILY

The Focus That Makes For A Healthy Church Family
Ephesians 4:3-6
Bob Bonner
April 1, 2007

Several years ago, I attended a sociology class in which the professor declared, “The modern church is useless. It has become obsolete. It no longer serves an observable purpose in today’s society.” Today, there are many more sociologists who would probably agree with that sociologist’s assessment of the modern church. Most of us would disagree vehemently with that indictment. Yet, from what the world observes of us, the present-day Church is dysfunctional and appears to add nothing significant or positive to community life. We are viewed as narrow people who can’t even get along with each other. Periodically, there are news bites highlighting a Church fight dealing with petty differences that in the bigger scheme of things really don’t make any impact on our world. All of which brings shame to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Besides the natural problem we all share, one of arrogance and pride, which leads to conflict, we face another attitude, somewhat unique to our culture. Here in the United States, rugged individualism has become the norm of the day, including within the Church. Why? One writer observes: “More and more we see less and less interaction among people. Often even our next door neighbors are strangers to us. Television occupies our time and we sit in front of it isolated from the rest of the world. In addition, home architecture has contributed to this isolation. Homes now usually have small front porches and instead, large decks or patios in the rear of the homes. Surrounded by walls or privacy fences, our world at home consists of television or back yard activities. And now the latest interruption of our interaction with people is the preoccupation with the Internet....Gone are the days when we sat on our front porches visiting with the neighbors from across the street or down the street....This similar pattern of isolation has emerged in our churches. Many members attend services, put in their offerings and then go home to their cloistered environment. Little attention is given to the mutual responsibilities of the Bible—the one anothers.” [Life in the body of Christ, Curtis Thomas, Founders Press, pp. 178-179]

The “one anothers” to which this writer refers are the twenty or so statements in the New Testament that describe the interaction between Christians who make up a healthy local church. Such things as “seeking the good of one another,” “stimulating one another to love and good deeds,” “encouraging one another,” “bearing one another’s burdens,” etc. 

From the world’s perspective, they are not witnessing these “one anothers” among us, the Church. Hence they rightfully question whether or not we serve any purpose. Yet, in contrast to what many think of the Church in our world, the Word of God teaches us that Jesus gave His life for His Church and that He loves His Church and gave supernatural spiritual gifts to His Church to fulfill His purposes on earth until He comes again. Furthermore, God’s Word says that the gates of hell will not prevail against His Church. Ultimately, when we as Christians take seriously our responsibilities as members of the body of Christ, the local Church, we will be noticed by the world and bring glory to Jesus Christ.

In presenting this series on “Called To Be A Family,” it is the heart of the elders to invite you to join us in a spiritual tune up, to make sure that we keep in focus why it is that Jesus has called us to be a local Church and how we can function even better as a church family. As we continue through this series, we are challenging you to listen to the voice of God as He speaks to you. What is it that He would have you consider doing? Anything? Is there something He would have you share with us as leaders and be willing to take some responsibility for as a fellow family member?

Last time, we began this brief series recalling that as individuals, each of us was created and saved by God for the sole purpose of bringing Him glory and to fully enjoy Him forever. I pointed out then that we have three ways in which each of us is called to bring glory to God here on earth, ways in which we will not be able to glorify God in heaven. Each of these is equally important. If we as individuals ignore any one of the three, we do not bring glory to God, but shame. Those three ways to bring glory to God are:

First, evangelism: our paying attention to the need of others to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. Are you as an individual praying for lost friends and family members to come to Christ? Are you making yourself available to be a part of evangelism service opportunities, such as our I-5 Coffee Ministry? Evangelism is to be a natural outgrowth of our lives and one of three ways that we can bring glory to God on earth, but not in heaven.

The second way that Jesus told us we can glorify God here on earth is by walking holy before God. In other words, we pay close attention to our personal walk of obedience to Jesus Christ. In heaven, we will walk holy before our God; but different than here on earth, there will be no temptation in heaven to rebel or sin against God. Hence, walking holy before God on earth is a totally different matter than walking holy in heaven, and thus, it is a second manner in which we can glorify God here on earth.

A third manner in which we can glorify God on earth, takes place when we as believers take seriously Jesus’ charge to love one another amidst a fallen world. As I understand it, the church in heaven will not exist as we know it on earth. For instance: we won’t be challenged to suffer long with one another in heaven, because there will be no sin. But here on earth, we are called to become members of a local body, a spiritual family, where we love one another, and through our being committed to one another, we demonstrate to the world that we are followers of Christ.

Having said all of that, God also knew that as Christians living here on earth, in a fallen world, we have great potential, as the Church, to live in conflict with one another or to live selfishly rather than in harmony and selflessly serving one another. In Ephesians 3, we read about this “mystery,” called the Church, and specifically, the early Church. This mystery concerned God’s purpose of bringing Jew and non-Jew together harmoniously to worship and serve God together. However, these two races of people were vastly different in almost every respect. They dressed differently, they ate differently, they shared nothing in common as it concerned traditions. Their world view was completely different. To bring them together to worship in the same local Church took nothing less than the grace of God. Yet, God brought about unity in the midst of diversity, but it was not always easy. And...it still isn’t.

Understanding that our call, as a Church, is to “love one another” so that the world will know that we are followers of Jesus Christ, the Spirit of God directed the Apostle Paul to show us how we as individuals, who naturally tend toward selfishness and conflict, are to live, serve and bring glory to God together. In light of reminding us of all that Jesus has done for us in Ephesians 1-3, beginning in Ephesians 4:1-3, Paul now gives us two specific instructions as to how we are to fulfill this calling, to glorify God by loving one another in our local church family. 

Last time, we looked at just the first instruction as to what is important if we are going to function as a healthy church family. Paul tells us that we are to “show tolerance,” “forbearance,” or “long suffer” with one another. In practical terms that means to put up with people out of love until God changes them. We saw from this passage, that the key to showing tolerance to one another is to ask God to create in each of us humble hearts.  

This morning, will see in God’s Word that there is a truth, that if we focus on it in times of conflict, it will encourage us or motivate us to take more seriously our need to practice longsuffering with others within the Church. Closely tied to forbearance is Paul’s second instruction of how to walk worthy, found in verse 3. He says, “...being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” In other words, we are being challenged to keep in focus that there is something bigger going on around us than just our own jobs, hobbies, personal tastes, preferences and interests. That which is bigger than any one individual’s personal agendas and expectations is the unity that is ours and that is to be maintained in the Church if God is going to be glorified by our individual lives. Paul is telling us that, if we focus on the preciousness of what unites us, we can defuse that which divides us or leads into conflict, by practicing forbearance. When we focus on the importance of the bigger picture, that which unites us, rather than our personal self-interests, then we will practice forbearance and we will experience the “bond of peace” rather than conflict.

When the Bible speaks of “unity” it is important to clarify that it is not speaking about “uniformity.” Some things demand “sameness” or uniformity. Assembly lines save time and money because the same operations occur time after time in the same way. Parts are riveted, cracks are sealed and joints are connected. Machines depend upon precision and uniformity. But people, who make up the Church, are not machines. For that reason, the Bible only challenges us to unity, not uniformity.

Unity is something that comes from within and brings life. Uniformity is external and results in pressure to conform. Uniformity, when applied to people is a form of legalism which legislates how everyone should act. Uniformity or legalism does not breed life, it kills the spirit.

Note something else that Paul says in verse 3 about this unity. Our unity is not something that we are to create, but we are to “preserve.”  It is already ours, whether we realize it or not. In the early Church, both Jew and non-Jew struggled with this truth. We still struggle with it today. That’s why Paul specifically adds, “being diligent to preserve the unity.” “Being” is a continuous ongoing action. The word “diligent” comes from a root word that means “to make haste” and thus gives the idea of “zealous effort”. It is something that is urgent and requires hard work on the part of every individual. Bottom line: it is much easier to be selfish and demand our own way. But love, as expressed in unity, requires ongoing urgent, hard work, a zealous effort to not make our wishes more important than that which unifies us.

“Uh...Paul? That sounds nice, but it seems a little too ethereal, too ‘pie in the skyish.’ Can you give us something a little more solid, more practical that we can wrap our minds around as to what unites us?” Paul answers your question, “I’d be glad to. Just read what I have to say in the next three verses.” There we read, “There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.”

Note the repetition of key words emphasizing our unity: Seven times “one” is mentioned in these three short verses. Three times the word “all” is mentioned in reference to every believer that makes up the one Church, or what Paul calls “the one body.” In these three verses, Paul is pounding us with terms that drive home something that is bigger and more important that unifies us, in contrast to our personal interests, that if allowed to, will divide us. That which unifies us is an all-encompassing God thing, literally. 

In these verses are mentioned the actions of each of the three persons of the Trinity: God the Spirit, God the Son, and God the Father, who are all one, working in unity for one purpose. We are to be as unified as the Trinity is, and to be one with their purpose. We cannot live as individualistic Christians focused on our rights, goals or personal agenda and at the same time serve God’s purposes.  You can only have one master and one ultimate purpose for which you live. It’s either yours or His.

Paul explains the work of the Trinity in our lives beginning with the Holy Spirit. He begins with the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives because according to Jesus’ teaching in John 14:16-17 and 16:8-15, it is the work of the Holy Spirit that first touches our individual lives. He is the one who convicts us of our sin, causing us to see our need for the Savior. He is the one who immediately indwells us and unites us into the one body of Christ. He is the one responsible for continually teaching us about who we are in Christ and how we are to live together as His bride, the Church. It is as we submit to the convicting work of the Holy Spirit that He conforms us into the image of Christ. 

There is much more to the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, but time does not permit us to cover that now. We need to simply focus on what Paul elucidates for us about the Holy Spirit’s role right here. And that is that the Holy Spirit is the one who unites all of us into the hope of our calling referred to here in Ephesians. We are united because we share this hope in common. 

In verse 5, we find another person of the Trinity, Jesus Christ. First, we learn that we have one Lord, Jesus Christ. Because Paul focuses on God the Father in verse 6, the term “Lord” as used here does not refer to God so much as it refers to Jesus being everyone’s individual and group master. He is the ruler over not only my own individual life, but also the life of the whole body of Christ, the local Church. 

Furthermore, not only are we united because we share the same master, but as believers, we are united because we hold onto the same faith that concerns that master. The term faith, as it is used here does not refer to the ability to believe something, but rather the doctrine of what you believe. More specifically, the faith referred to here is not the totality of theological truth, but specifically the truth about the Gospel, the truth about Jesus being fully God/Man, coming to earth, born of a virgin, crucified, dead, buried and resurrected and seen by hundreds of others for six weeks, that is the truth we share. And everything we do together should highlight that truth. In reverse, we should do nothing that would detract from that one faith, the Gospel or good news about Jesus Christ.

Our one baptism points to our shared commitment or identification with Jesus Christ. To be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ means that you have been identified as a follower of Jesus Christ, committed to what He values as important. Whereas the agent by whom I am spiritually baptized into Christ, according to 1 Corinthians 12, is the Holy Spirit, I am baptized or identified with Jesus. Hence, as Christians we are united by the common identity we share in Christ. 

My personal baptism and your personal baptism was a declaration that my life was no longer about my preferences or wishes. It’s about my denying myself and following Him and His purposes for my life.  If you were baptized and you don’t hold to what I just said, then I would suggest to your that your baptism was a false baptism. In other words, you either did not know what you were signing up for when you chose to be baptized or you denied your commitment to fully follow Christ. Denying myself to follow Christ at all costs includes being willing to long suffer with my fellow believers and being diligent to preserve what He and the Holy Spirit have created, our unity.

Then, we have verse 6, where the final person of the trinity is highlighted: “one God and Father of all,”not just of me, but of all Christians. The prepositional phrase “of all” points to the source and origin of my spiritual rebirth and life.  If you are a Christian, you and I share and thus are united by the origin of our spiritual rebirths. None of us have any more special arrangement with God the Father, than another. Our new eternal life all begins with Him.

  The second prepositional phrase “over all” points to our unity in that we all share in the reality that God sovereignly rules over all of us. He is our supreme authority and He is the one responsible for all those He places in authority over us. Whether they be teachers, politicians, parents, spouses, coaches, bosses or church leadership.

The next significant phrase in this verse describes the unity we share is “through all.” If I were to hand you a cup filled with pearls, it would be an expensive cup. But in that cup, the beauty of those pearls would not be displayed so that they could be properly enjoyed. To pour those pearls out on a table would not express their full beauty, either.  But when you string those pearls together with one common thread running “through all,” their beauty is overwhelming. 

Similarly, as an individual, if I try to live my life independent of you, and the truth of God being in each of us and knitting us together, the potential beauty of the glory of God will be hidden. But when I submit to God and take seriously the reality of sharing of my life together with you, because He has knit us together, dwells in us, then His power and glory is displayed, His beauty is seen in us, and in turn we have a greater impact upon the world around us. Or, this phrase expresses that we share the same being who empowers us to more greatly impact the world.

There is one last phrase that highlights God the Father’s role in unifying us. It says that He is “in all.” Each of us, as Christians, is united together because we share the same “house guest” who lives in each of us, God the Father. Hence, when I observe someone that just flat rubs me the wrong way, has habits that irritate me or offend me, I am called to remember that God the Father is just as much in Him as He is in me. Thus, that person is just as important to God as I am. That person possesses the same value before God. I am not to think more highly of myself than I ought to think. We are united in value.

When we look at these three persons of the Trinity and all that they have done in each of us, these points are not just some theological doctrine. These are very real areas of mutual experience that have united us. These are not things we have laid hold of and claimed as truth. These are things that God has done to lay hold of us and make us one! Therefore, we are to live as one, not as rugged individualists, who can choose to do our own thing, disregarding the rest of the church family.

So, how does this apply to a family of believers? Keeping what we have learned in mind, how do we preserve the unity in the bond of peace? The Apostle Paul illustrates that for us in one of his letters to another New Testament Church that was having a great impact on its culture, but had run into a bit of snag. According to Philippians 4:2, two ladies, Euodia and Syntyche had come into conflict. These two women both loved Jesus, both had shared in Paul’s ministry. These were true believers committed to Christ. Now they are at odds and their conflict is harming the unity of the church. They had not learned yet, how to “look out for the interest of others.” They only knew they wanted their own way in some unidentified matter. 

Most of us have read the following verses before, but we have not really considered their context. In verse 4-7, Paul instructs the Church and specifically these two ladies as to what they are to do. First he exhorts them to “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” Can you imagine these women hearing this?! Probably sounded to them about as soothing as James’s words in James 1:2, would have sounded to someone who had just been fired: “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials.” Paul words are not insensitive, but designed to help us keep perspective. He continues, “Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.” Apparently, these ladies had lost it. Gentleness was not on their mind. They had not thought that the omnipresent God they claimed they were serving was right there watching all that was going on. Instead of forbearing with one another, and having forgotten whom it was they were serving, they were pretty stirred up. Hence, his next instruction: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, [remember that “in the bond of peace” we read about in Ephesians?] which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

When in conflict with another, Paul instructs us first, to go to the Lord in prayer, keeping in mind that both parties are united around God the Spirit, God the Son and God the Father. Furthermore, as we go to prayer, we are to pray with thanksgiving for the challenge or conflict in which we find ourselves. As we do, we are to make our case before God. But that’s easier said than done.

How do you pray for someone or about a situation where someone who thinks, acts and lives a little differently than you do comes into conflict with you? What is the focus of your prayers when this “thorn” appears in your life? Typically, when we are in conflict with another, we pray about the conflict, the hurt or injustice we have received. I have heard one woman pray vigorously for God to slam dunk the other person. Typically, we ignore the part about “with thanksgiving” because we don’t feel like giving thanks at that moment. Nonetheless, still God commands us to pray with thanksgiving. It’s the only way we can take steps to diligently preserve the unity.

So, is that it? No. Paul adds one thing more. Paul tells us: “Finally, brethren, [after you have tried to praise God for the conflict, thanking Him for whatever it is that He is trying to do in both of your lives, then, you can move to the next point of focus. He says to acknowledge to God that] whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Note: Paul is saying to stop and rethink what you know to be true and good about this person. Don’t forget the context here. These verses were not written to teach you how to have a positive out look on life. This is about how to work through conflict, preserving unity in the body. This committed Christian with whom you are in conflict, is a good-willed person with good intentions. Sure, you both are at odds, and see things differently. But don’t forget that your real enemy is not the other person but Satan who is trying to divide you and the church family. So, stop and think and acknowledge before God whatever it is that you know is positive about that person, with whom you are eternally united. Don’t focus on what divides you, but what is good about this person and what you hold in common.

When you do that, then Paul says, “The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Paul was no stranger to conflict. Paul modeled these very things before these two women. And now, from experience, he is telling them that God will resolve the issue, and bring peace when we do things God’s way. 

When you stop in the midst of a conflict to get the bigger picture of what is really important, and what life is really all about, and who and what it is that has brought you together as a church family, and specifically with the one with whom you are being challenged, then you will discover “the peace that binds” you together. You won’t continue to harbor a grudge or sweat the small stuff. You will long suffer for the purpose of diligently preserving the unity and enjoying peace rather than conflict in the body.

Friend, we have a choice to make when differences arise: We can either demand to have it our way or we can choose to make it our focus as a member of this local fellowship to preserve the unity rather than demand our preference and disrupt that unity. Keep in mind, bringing God glory or shame hangs in the balance of your decision. The seriousness to which you choose to be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ will be demonstrated by your willingness to deny yourself.

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