THE CHALLENGE/BLESSINGS OF PARENTING

Genesis 26:12-35
Bob Bonner
November 5, 2006

This past week, as I reading devotionally through God’s Word, I came across one of Solomon’s instructions to his son concerning how to be a godly parent. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 29:17, “Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.” As a parent, there is nothing that brings me more joy than to see my children act wisely and honorably before God. Conversely, there is nothing that causes me more heartache than when I see my kids live in such a way that reveals they have forgotten the instructions that come from their loving heavenly Father. The point of this proverb addressed to parents is founded upon the assumption that children do not naturally do what is right. Therefore, they must be trained, taught and corrected. If we are going to be godly parents, then we must actively fulfill our responsibility in disciplining our children. If we don’t, we will endanger our children’s futures.

The importance of this truth, that children must be instructed in the ways of the Lord as well as trained in life skills is highlighted over and over and over throughout the last half of the book of Genesis. In Genesis 25-28, we will see three different children unnecessarily suffer through life because their parents failed to teach and correct the children in either the ways of the Lord or in life skills.

As we study our passage of Scripture this morning, Genesis 26:12-33, we will see this truth illustrated for us, that parenting presents a challenge as well as incredible long-lasting blessings. However, to truly appreciate the illustration as revealed in our passage of study for today, we must get a grasp of the bigger picture that surrounds the historical events of our passage.

Last time, I mentioned to you that the historical order of events in Genesis do not always follow the same order as the numerical chapters of Genesis. More specifically, I explained that 26:1-11, although it follows chapter 25 in the Bible, actually takes place before 25:11.

As I prepared our study for today, I noticed several other chronological challenges that need to be understood if we are going to get the full impact of what is happening to the key players in this chapter, those being Abraham, Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob and Esau. To help aid you in correctly understanding the order of events and their impact upon our passage, I have I worked up this brief order of the events in Genesis as they happened.

Before walking through this overview of the timeline of the story of Abraham Isaac and Jacob, I would like to add this disclaimer: What I am sharing with you is the result of putting together the facts of Scripture as best as I understand them at this moment. In other words, I think I am correct and most of the sources I have researched agree with these conclusions. But there may be a minor oversight somewhere in this. So, let’s hang on loosely to this timeline of the order of events in these chapters!

Abraham is 140 years old when he turns the reigns of the patriarchy over to Isaac, who is 40 years old at this time. Abraham lives another 35 years, the last fifteen including the first 15 years of his grandson’s lives, Esau and Jacob.

We are told that Isaac was married at 40, which is the same time he received the authority to take over as the family patriarch.

We learn that during the next 19 years of Isaac and Rebekah’s lives they have no children. Shortly after seeking God in prayer about their wishes to have children, Rebekah conceives.

However, during this same time period, there is a famine that forces Isaac to move his family to find food. Rebekah is possibly pregnant at this time, but she is not very far along or to the point that she is showing her pregnancy. Headed for Egypt to find food, God visits Isaac for the first time and orders him to stop and not go to Egypt, and promises to bless him if he obeys. Isaac obeys, and God blesses him and his family for his obedience.

But while he is there, he fears that the Philistines will be so drawn to his beautiful wife, that they might kill him to get to her. So, he deceives them into believing that she is his sister. By lying about his wife, Isaac invites these immoral, godless people to come take her, by force, if they want her. In modern parlance, he throws her under the bus to save his own skin. I bet this made this pregnant woman feel reeeeeeeal cherished!

Between 26:11 and 26:12, 15 years pass by, during which many blessings and other events explained elsewhere in Scripture take place. Such as:

During that first year in Gerar, the twins, Esau and Jacob are born. In addition, by the time we come to 26:12, these boys are fifteen.

During these fifteen years Isaac and his family enjoy incredible economic prosperity.

We also learn that, during this time, Isaac loves or prefers Esau over Jacob, even though God has let him know that Jacob is the chosen one to be the next patriarch of the family. On the other hand, Rebekah, because she believes this prophecy and she sees Isaac’s preference for Esau, favors Jacob.

Chronologically, another significant event takes place at this time. Grandpa Abe dies! At this time, Isaac is 75 years old. From this point on, for the next 105 years of his life, Isaac will live without the spiritual leadership and counsel of his father. Hence, Abraham’s death is significant. His death brings about two immediate reactions. The first reaction comes from within Isaac’s own family.

With Abraham alive and Dad, Isaac being the patriarch, Jacob has no sense of the immense responsibility which is his as the promised heir to the patriarchy. But with his grandfather’s death and Jacob’s own growing older, he realizes the need to establish his rightful place as heir to the patriarchy.

Hence, he wants to lay claim to it as soon as he can, no matter the means. So, he manipulates Esau to sell his birthright for a meal.

The second reaction to Abraham’s death comes from outside the family, from the Philistines. For years, they have been living with Abraham’s family under a covenant they had made with Abraham. But because Abraham had died and because Isaac’s family had become so prosperous and powerful, Abimelech and the Philistines choose to force Isaac and his family to move. At this point, they had not considered that Abraham’s God had appointed Isaac to take his father’s place. But by the time we come to the end of our passage for this morning, they realize that God, indeed, has His hand upon the new patriarch, Isaac.

Meanwhile, at the end of this 15 years, Esau, around the age of 16, realizing that he had lost the birthright and that the family had to move from the home in which he grew up, decides that it’s time for him to head for the hills, to strike out on his own, and make a life for himself. In so doing, he chooses to marry two Canaanite women from the Hittite clan, a people’s who did not worship Yahweh, but idols, rather than marrying from within their own family’s clan, from one’s who worship Yahweh.

By the time we come to 27:1, approximately 80 years will have passed. Isaac will be about 155 years old, but has less than 25 yrs. left to live. Jacob and Esau are about 95 years old, when Jacob, still unmarried, steals the blessing Isaac wanted to lay on Esau.

Having walked you through the order of events of Abraham’s later life and those of Isaac’s family’s lives, let’s take a closer look at our passage which begins with the end of Isaac’s 15 year stay in Gerar. Let’s begin with the conclusion of those years and how God has blessed Isaac, in 26: 12-14. We read, “Now Isaac sowed in that land and reaped in the same year a hundredfold. And the Lord blessed him, and the man became rich, and continued to grow richer until he became very wealthy; for he had possessions of flocks and herds and a great household, so that the Philistines envied him.”

Although Isaac was no pauper when he arrived in Gerar, he certainly became extremely wealthy by the time he left Gerar. His “greatness” was defined by his possessions: a large harvest, exceedingly big herds and a great household. The expression “a great household” literally in Hebrew is “many slaves.” An orthodox Hebrew translation shows the importance of these many slaves by translating these words, “and many enterprises.” Their point in translating these words this way is to communicate that the reason you have many slaves living in or very near a city is that you have many businesses going on. We are to imagine by this statement, that Isaac’s wealth from crops and cattle has spawned off other secondary businesses which his slaves oversee.

In the end, Isaac’s wealth and all of the power that came with it produced a problem. Envy and fear by the Philistines, that Isaac’s family would take over the Philistines’ territory. So, Abimelech gave orders to shut down Isaac’s water resources which were absolutely necessary for Isaac’s businesses of raising cattle and harvesting grain. We read, “Now all the wells which his father’s servants had dug in the days of Abraham his father, the Philistines stopped up by filling them with earth. Then Abimelech said to Isaac, ‘Go away from us, for you are too powerful for us.’”

Notice Isaac’s response to the Philistine king’s order and actions. Does it surprise you? Is this how you would have responded as the more powerful leader? “And Isaac departed from there and camped in the valley of Gerar, and settled there.” Isaac didn’t say a word. He never negotiated or fought for his family’s rights to the wells that his father had dug and allowed the Philistines to use. Isaac, possibly a phlegmatic individual, who typically didn’t like conflict, just rolled over and left.

The timing of Abimelech’s order to cave in the wells and his order for Isaac to leave comes at the same time, according to verse 18, as the news of Abraham’s death. Apparently, the Philistines felt that when Abraham died, so did his or his family’s right to these wells that Abraham had dug. Furthermore, it’s my guess that Abimelech, after 15 years of having observed Isaac, knew that Isaac was not the same courageous choleric or bold leader as his father Abraham. Hence, Abimilech’s bold move to tell Isaac, “Get out of here.” So, Isaac, the stronger submits to the weaker.

It might also interest you to know that the Philistines, at this time, had not yet really established themselves as a people in Canaan. Most of their tribe was still living on the island of Crete during this period. Those who were living in and around Gerar were simply a small colony of Philistines. Hence, they were trying to establish a foothold in the land of Canaan. In order to gain a foothold, they had to discourage others from growing in power or taking over what they had already come to possess.

Isaac leaves Gerar and follows the Gerar valley east about 15 miles, where eventually, he will land in Beersheba. This area is, for the most part, an arid wasteland, with very little grazing land and even less water. Knowing there is limited water for Isaac’s herds, the Philistines expect to get rid of Isaac and see him economically ruined. But that doesn’t happen.

As Isaac moves his family east in search of a place to light and call home, he travels the same path his father walked almost a hundred years before. He is hoping to find and re-open, if necessary, old wells his father had dug in the past. Along the way, he keeps running into more insignificant Philistine residents who don’t want him around and they push him all the way to Beersheba. “Then Isaac dug again the wells of water which had been dug in the days of his father Abraham, for the Philistines had stopped them up after the death of Abraham; and he gave them the same names which his father had given them. But when Isaac’s servants dug in the valley and found there a well of flowing water, [literally “living water.”]. This was a fresh spring, an artesian well whose waters are the purest and sweetest-tasting of all well waters. This new well was a prized possession. Because of that we read, “the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with the herdsmen of Isaac, saying, ‘The water is ours!’” In other words, in typical debates of the times, these herdsman were saying, “Yes, the hole is yours, you dug it; but the water inside the hole belongs to us!” So he named the well Esek, [contention] because they contended with him. Isaac is a typical second generation son, who comes from a wealthy family. He has never known the pressure of starting up his own business or being the leader. His life has been handed to him on a silver platter. Rather than physically fight for what was rightfully his, he just moved on and looked for another well.

“Then they dug another well, and they quarreled over it too, so he named it Sitnah [enmity]. He moved away from there and dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it; so he named it Rehoboth, [which means “plenty of room”] for he said, ‘At last the Lord has made room for us, and we will be fruitful in the land.’ Then he went up from there to Beersheba. The Lord appeared to him the same night [this is the second time the pre-incarnate Christ has appeared to Isaac in 15 years] and said, ‘I am the God of your father Abraham; Do not fear, for I am with you. I will bless you, [meaning,“I welcome you and accept you into my presence.”] and [I will] multiply your descendants, For the sake of My servant Abraham.’” Please note: God did not say that He would welcome Isaac or cause his descendants to multiply, because of Isaac’s faith or Isaac’s obedience, but because of Abraham’s obedience.

Why? Isaac, the second generation of the preacher’s kid, has still not made God number one in his life, but has taken Him for granted. Although he obeyed God’s instruction in 26:2, that did not take any real faith, because there was food and water and great business potential right there in Gerar. Maybe not as much as in Egpyt, but enough to get by in the short run. So, he obeyed God and stayed. Also note, that back in 26:5, the foundation of God’s promise to bless Isaac and his descendants wasn’t based upon Isaac’s obedience, but upon his father’s faith. Twice in this chapter God clearly states that He blesses Isaac, not because of Isaac’s faith and obedience, but because of Abraham’s.

In addition, remember what Isaac does just after God promises to bless Isaac if he obeys and stays. In verses 7-11, rather than seek God as to what he should do about his wife, he chooses to lie to the Philistines about his wife being his sister. As we will see, whatever blessings Isaac had received to date or will receive in the future come as a result of his father Abraham’s faithfulness to God, not Isaac’s.

Having clearly understood the implication of God’s comment about being blessed because of his Daddy’s faith, Isaac responds, in verse 25. “So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord, and pitched his tent there; and there Isaac’s servants dug a well.” Isaac has been humbled to act in worship. But was it really something coming from his heart or was he feeling obliged or forced to worship? It’s debatable. But when you study his past and his future, if this was a heartfelt act of worship, unforced, it will be the first and only recorded act of worship on Isaac’s part since he submitted to his father’s potential sacrificing of Isaac, when Isaac was a boy.

“Then Abimelech came to him from Gerar with his adviser Ahuzzath and Phicol the commander of his army. Isaac said to them, ‘Why have you come to me, since you hate me and have sent me away from you?’ They said, ‘We see plainly that the Lord has been with you; so we said, ‘Let there now be an oath between us, even between you and us, and let us make a covenant with you, that you will do us no harm, just as we have not touched you and have done to you nothing but good and have sent you away in peace.’”

What a bunch of double talk!! Yes, they never got physical and harmed Isaac or Rebekah for deceiving them, but to say they had done nothing but good to them was a lie. They destroyed their secondary business enterprises by caving in their wells and forcing them to leave. That’s “nothing but good”? Who needs friends like them!? However, upon “seeing plainly” that Isaac’s transition from being a wealthy city grazer to being a desert nomad without suffering total economic ruin blew these Philistines away. To the point that in the end, these idol worshipers proclaim, “You are now the blessed of the Lord.”

Having agreed to peaceably live together and play nice, Isaac then “... made them a feast, and they ate and drank. In the morning they arose early and exchanged oaths; then Isaac sent them away and they departed from him in peace. Now it came about on the same day, that Isaac’s servants came in and told him about the well which they had dug, and said to him, ‘We have found water.’ So he called it Shibah; therefore the name of the city is Beersheba to this day.”

As we come to the point of application, you might be wondering how all of this relates to the proverb concerning parenting. So, allow me to bring us around full circle and show you. There is another familiar proverb, Proverbs 22:6 that states “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he grows old he will not depart from it.” To fully explore the meaning and intent of this verse would take more time than we have right now, so allow me to highlight just one aspect of it, the “Train up a child in the way he should go...” part.

This part of the proverb presumes that you understand that all children need to be trained, especially in the things of God. To turn children loose on their own, will only lead to unnecessary grief in their lives. They may find the Lord on their own, but more often than not, because of the foolishness that is bound up in the heart of a child, they will have to unnecessarily go through the school of hard knocks, that will leave them with scars that they could have avoided if the parents did their job.

Second, this portion of the proverb presumes that the parents can understand their child’s personality...their strengths, weaknesses and how those strengths and weaknesses can help or hinder them in the world they are entering. In Hebrew, the words “in the way he should go” point not only to the spiritual way you hope the child will go, but also point to the child’s natural personality bent.

In our local paper one Sunday morning, I noticed an illustration of the four basic personality types of which we are all a mixture, but we normally move toward one of the four. The first three I noticed in the PEANUTS cartoon. I had phlegmatic–Charlie Brown; melancholic–Linus and choleric—Lucy. Next to this cartoon was the sanguine character, Dennis the Menace. In real life, no wise parent would try to instruct discipline or train any of those four characters in exactly the same way and hope to get positive results because their bents are different. Each one needs to be dealt with individually Cartoon characters that reflect four basic personality types: choleric--Lucy; sanguine-- Dennis the Menace; phlegmatic–Charlie Brown; melancholic–Linus. Is the child laid back or aggressive? Introvert or extrovert? Is he artistic, athletic, musical, good with numbers, a good listener with a kind heart....

When one studies a child’s personality, we learn that all of his strengths present weaknesses. For instance: Being laid back has it’s advantages and disadvantages, just as being aggressive has advantages and disadvantages. The job of the parent is to discern the child’s bent and to encourage the positives and help the child work toward overcoming the negatives. It is not to try to make him into someone he is not. If you see the child’s natural bent and you try to bend him over or make him into something he is not, you will break him rather than merely bend him.

As godly as Abraham was, he was not a very wise father or student of his son Isaac. Isaac was a very compliant and obedient child. We see this in his willingness to trust the love of his father when his father told him that God had told him that he must sacrifice Isaac. Furthermore, we see no signs of Isaac being a rebellious, stiff-necked youth. His parents loved him and Isaac loved his parents.

But Abraham also knew that one day, Isaac would have to be the leader, the patriarch of his family. He had to be the one in charge. Did Abraham show Isaac how to make his way in the world? Abraham modeled what it was to walk by faith, but did he train up his child spiritually and prepare him for life?

The evidence I see in Scripture leads me to believe he didn’t. Rather than train up or prepare Isaac to be a successful godly leader, Abraham enabled him to fail by doing things for Isaac that Isaac could have done for himself. I don’t remember who taught my wife and I this principle, but it is true. “Don’t do for a child what he can do for himself. If you do, you will create a social cripple.” Isaac lived in a situation where everything was provided for him, and very little was demanded of him. Abraham, by coddling Isaac, prepared him to fail as a leader.

For example: How old was Isaac when he got married? 40. How is it that he got married? It’s interesting that before there was a community from which parents could arrange for their children to get married, the sons, with permission and approval of their parents, sought out brides from their family clan. For instance, Isaac gave his son Jacob instruction concerning choosing a wife and then sent him back to their family clan in Haran to find his own wife. But what did Abraham do? He picked out and hand delivered Isaac a wife! Isaac didn’t have to lift a finger to provide for himself a wife. This is a mere snapshot of how Isaac lived his whole life.

Without any experience or testing as a leader, at age 40 and newly married, Isaac was given the reigns to lead the family. Genesis 26 is pretty much a picture of failure for Isaac, a picture of having been living off the blessings from God based on the previous works of his father.

What’s the point? Study your child’s nature, strength and weakness and prepare him for life. Just because you have an easy baby, a compliant child who causes you no problems doesn’t meant he won’t need your undivided attention, training and preparation in life. You need to become a student of your child’s strengths and weaknesses. Encourage the strengths and work on the weaknesses. He is counting on you to prepare him for life, not give him life on a platter.

On the other hand, as it concerns God blessings, we also learn from this book that God still fulfills His promise to bless our children’s lives, because of their parent’s faithfulness and in spite of their children’s faithlessness. Obviously, our children’s lives will be made more full here on earth due to God’s blessing when they personally choose to follow after and obey God rather than not. But whether they realize it or not, whether they appreciate them or not, there are certain blessings that God passes on to the children of godly parents, regardless of the kids’ foolishness. Sometimes God has passed on, through the parents to the children, blessings that are economic, educational, physical and even spiritual. For instance: God blessed Isaac because of Abraham’s faithfulness (v. 24); and God promised Isaac, to grant his sons and daughter Canaan as their homeland, and many descendants, in spite of Isaac’s failures, but based on Abraham’s faithfulness (v. 3-5). Think about that: The degree to which you are faithful in your walk with the Lord will directly impact generations that follow long after you, whether they personally know you or not.

God’s desire is to bless. He wants to bring goodness to our lives. He wants to give to those who love Him.

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