LESSONS LEARNED FROM VIOLETS

Genesis 37:12-36
Bob Bonner
July 22, 2007

Violets are lovely flowers that bloom in the Spring. They even make lovely bouquets when painstakingly picked and tied with a ribbon. They are often seen as ground cover when planted in masses. However, to some gardeners, violets are a curse to their garden. Violet seeds are tiny and thus are easily blown into gardens where people don’t want them. When these seeds germinate, their roots grow down about four inches as well as sending out runners that spread horizontally. Before one knows it, they have invaded and taken over the entire garden, choking out other choice perennials. 

If your neighbors are nurturing violets in their garden, be sure that soon you will be, too. Violets happen. In a perfect world, you would like to be able to quickly identify the violet seeds before they germinate. But usually, you have to wait til the evidence of their having taken root shows up.

Bitterness is very much like violets. You can’t prevent the seeds of bitterness from always blowing into your garden from a nearby neighbor, but once you identify bitterness in your life, you had better attack it before it invades your life and the lives of those around you.

This morning, we are going to see the results of rivalry that turned into bitterness, which eventually divided an entire family. That’s the bad news. At the same time, as we continue to study Jacob’s family, we will eventually see that God can remove that destructive bitterness and bring reconciliation to a divided family. This morning, we will highlight the shovel that God chooses to dig down deep to remove the invasive roots of bitterness.

If you have your Bibles with you, I invite you to open them to Genesis 37, where we return to a drama that unfolds one act that is made up of three scenes. The first and last scenes take place at Jacob’s home, whereas the middle scene takes place out in the field. In Scene 1, verses 1-11, we have the brothers’ view of Joseph. We looked at this scene during our last time together. The older brothers of Joseph were not happy with him because he had tattled to their father, Jacob, about something they shouldn’t have been doing.

Through the lens of bitterness, they viewed Joseph as their father’s pet, his favorite son. But then, Jacob, didn’t make matters any better when he gave Joseph a nobleman’s coat or robe that signaled that this younger brother would become the head of their family, once Jacob was dead and gone. This father’s foolish act of favoritism fueled the flames of bitterness, rivalry and jealousy. But the final straw comes when Joseph tells his family about two dreams God had given him. These two dreams were a prophecy that one day Joseph’s father and brothers would bow down to Joseph’s leadership. Joseph’s commentary on his own dreams went over like a pregnant pole-vaulter to his brothers.

Not being able to stand Joseph’s arrogance and their father’s outlandish favoritism toward Joseph, these 10 bitter and jealous brothers conveniently leave the household and take the flocks 50 miles north to Shechem, to graze. They were in no mood to stay home with Jacob and Joseph. They wanted to get as far away from them as possible. That leads us to Scene 2, which is covered in verses 12-30. In this scene, we find the brothers kidnap Joseph and sell him into slavery. Scene 3, verses 31-36 has Joseph’s brothers lie to their father about Joseph’s whereabouts. They tell their father that Joseph has been killed by wild beasts.

At this time, Joseph is 17 years old. Reuben, the oldest brother, is almost 30 years old. The rest of the brothers cascade in ages between Reuben and Joseph. Two years before this scene, a major event of import to our passage took place. Joseph’s older brothers had savagely massacred all of the adult males of the town of Shechem, an act of revenge led by brothers Simeon and Levi. This unnecessary bloodshed single handedly put all the neighboring Canaanite tribes on alert that Jacob’s family were not going to be good or friendly neighbors.     

Let’s begin our study this morning at Scene 2, which begins at verse 12. Here, we find Joseph, upon his father’s request, heading out to the field to find out what his brothers were up to. We read, “Then his brothers went to pasture their father’s flock in Shechem.  Israel said to Joseph, “Are not your brothers pasturing the flock in Shechem? Come, and I will send you to them.” And he said to him, ‘I will go.’ Then he said to him, ‘Go now and see about the welfare of your brothers and the welfare of the flock, and bring word back to me.’ So he sent him from the valley of Hebron, and he came to Shechem. A man found him, and behold, he [Joseph] was wandering in the field; [“...he was blundering in the field.”] and the man asked him, ‘What are you looking for?’ He said, ‘I am looking for my brothers; please tell me where they are pasturing the flock.’ Then the man said, ‘They have moved from here; for I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan.’ So Joseph went after his brothers and found them at Dothan.”

Hebron was 50 miles south of Shechem. And Dothan was 13 miles northwest of Shechem. Depending what time of day Joseph left home and how much time he spent wandering around open fields, it probably took Joseph 2-3 days to find his brothers. The term “Dothan” is believed to mean “two cisterns” and was presumably named so because of its two storage wells. Later, we will see that it is into one of these dried-up cisterns that Joseph was temporarily imprisoned.

Keep in mind what took place in this area of Shechem as was recorded three chapters earlier in Genesis 34—the slaughter of all the adult Shechemite males. For this explains how it is that this Canaanite stranger can so quickly and with assurance tell Joseph where to find his brothers. Every Canaanite, and specifically every remaining living Shechemite who had survived the massacre of Jacob’s son’s knew where Jacob’s boys were. For all the Canaanite people in the land were keeping their vengeful protective eyes out for Jacob’s family, at all times. From their perspective, the whole territory was not safe when those boys were near. Hence, it is no accident that this man just happened to overhear Joseph’s brothers say where they were headed. Every Canaanite had their eyes open, watching these brothers and their ears to the ground to keep tabs on them. They were on the alert. Jacob’s sons were the talk of every Canaanite village.

Also, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why Daddy Jacob wants to find out how his sons are doing. The previous report on his sons, and their history of being rather wild and promiscuous had endangered the whole family. These boys were not to be trusted. They were not men of high morals or integrity. For all he knows they could be out terrorizing the land. Of additional concern to Jacob was the very real possibility that the Canaanites may have decided to exact revenge against his sons, and he wanted to make sure they were okay. So this father clearly has reasons to be concerned, and hence, sends Joseph out once more, to find out what they are up to.

After he gets pointed in the right direction, his brothers soon spot him. We read, “When they saw him from a distance and before he came close to them, they plotted against him to put him to death. They said to one another, ‘Here comes this dreamer!’ Now then, come and let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits; and we will say, [meaning what they will later say to their father when he wonders where his favorite son is] ‘A wild beast devoured him.’ Then let us see what will become of his dreams!” Apparently, once they spotted Joseph coming, it took Joseph some time to actually reach them. It took him long enough for the brothers to discuss and plan how they would capture and get rid of Joseph. But an interesting question is, “How did they know from such a long distance, that the man coming toward them was Joseph?” Keep in mind, Joseph was far enough away that they had had enough time to gather together as a group of brothers to discuss and formulate a plan to kill Joseph. How could they have told who it was from such a distance? The dead giveaway that this man coming toward them was Joseph was his nobleman’s robe that his father had given him. It stood out like a whitehead or a blemish against a peaches and cream complexion. How foolish it was for Joseph to be wearing that robe in the field...like wearing a tuxedo to change the oil in your car! Besides the fact, he had to know by now that his robe had become a bone of contention with his brothers. Youthful arrogance and pride can often blind one to his surroundings. That coat to Joseph’s brothers was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. They had had enough of Joseph. It’s time to get rid of him!

Archaeologists have found a large number of cisterns all over Israel. They were hewn out of rock for retaining water. Typically, they were dug by shepherds to store water during the rainy season so that they would have an adequate supply for their flocks. They ranged from 6-20 feet in depth, and up to 20 feet wide. Cisterns were shaped like a large bottlenecked vase, with a narrow mouth large enough for a man to fall through, but not so wide that a single flat stone couldn’t cover it; inside it widened to form a large subterranean room. A dried-out cistern makes an excellent dungeon. It was a great place to hold Joseph, because he could scream his lungs out, way out there in the pasture lands, and no one would hear him unless they were right on top of him. And if his scream became too much of an irritation to the brothers nearby, they could have rolled a stone over the opening and silenced him.

Even though all of the brothers hated Joseph, not all of them wanted him killed. For we read, “But Reuben heard this [meaning his other brothers’ plan to murder Joseph] and rescued him out of their hands and said, ‘Let us not take his life.’”

Reuben’s words, “Let us not take his life” would be better translated “We must not take his life.” Reuben is very forceful in his pleading for saving Joseph’s life. Reuben continues his defense of Joseph in verse 22, “Reuben further said to them, ‘Shed no blood. Throw him into this pit that is in the wilderness, but do not lay hands on him’—he said this so that he might rescue Joseph out of his brothers’ hands, to restore him to his father. So it came about, when Joseph reached his brothers, that they stripped Joseph of his tunic, the varicolored tunic that was on him; and they took him and threw him into the pit. Now the pit was empty, without any water in it. Then they sat down to eat a meal.”

After grabbing Joseph the moment he arrived, notice what the brothers did. They roughly ripped off that coat which they hated as much as Joseph. In doing so, in their minds, they had successfully dethroned the royal son and exposed him to the chilly cistern. 

Cisterns, by their very nature of being underground were cold and damp, even in the heat of summer. It was terrible to be thrown into one of those underground tanks. There was no escape from falling into such a cistern without assistance from someone at the top. We can imagine what a terrifying experience it was for pampered Joseph. Years later, the brothers admitted to the distressful cries they had heard from Joseph as he begged for them to retrieve him. Such heartless cruelty is beyond imagination...while begging for his life, his brothers ignored his cries and sat down together to eat their meal. Ironically, the next time these brothers will ever have a meal in Joseph’s presence will be at the head of Joseph’s table, the future Vice-President of Egypt. 

At this point, apparently, Reuben leaves the gathering of his brothers. Where he goes and why he goes, we don’t know. But apparently, it was long enough for the events of these next verses to occur. 

“And as they raised their eyes and looked, behold, a caravan of Ishmaelites was coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing aromatic gum and balm and myrrh, on their way to bring them down to Egypt. Judah said to his brothers, ‘What profit is it for us to kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.’ And his brothers listened to him. Then some Midianite traders passed by, so they pulled him up and lifted Joseph out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. Thus they brought Joseph into Egypt.”

At this point, Reuben returns to camp, expecting to find Joseph. “Now Reuben returned to the pit, and behold, Joseph was not in the pit; so he tore his garments. He returned to his brothers and said, ‘The boy is not there; as for me, where am I to go?’”

Though the immediate text does not specify fully how Reuben felt, we know from Reuben’s later confession in Egypt that he was at this time extremely “distressed.” Sadly, we witness a Reuben who is growing up, but too little too late. He has realized his past wrongdoings against his father. He wants to be the next patriarch of the family and wants to get back into his father’s good graces. He sees his opportunity to do so by rescuing Joseph from certain death. But suddenly, this opportunity to right the wrongs of his past is stolen from him. And rightfully, Reuben doesn’t blame his brothers for his present predicament. He puts the onus of his situation on his own shoulders. 

Reuben’s actions teach us that we cannot blame ourselves for the faults of others but we must be realistic when it comes to our own faults and accept responsibility for them.  As the older brother, Reuben does just that. He can no longer blame his parents and all of their problems for his problems. His own jealousy and bitterness toward his father had produced negative returns for him and his brothers. He had blown it in the past, and now, he was going to be held responsible, as the oldest son, for his brothers’ evil and the disappearance, and presumed death of Joseph.

With verse 31, the scene changes. We are about to leave the field and return to Jacob’s home. “So they took Joseph’s tunic, and slaughtered a male goat and dipped the tunic in the blood; and they sent the varicolored tunic and brought it to their father and said, ‘We found this; please examine it to see whether it is your son’s tunic or not.’ Then he examined it and said, ‘It is my son’s tunic. A wild beast has devoured him; Joseph has surely been torn to pieces!’”

Notice the lack of concern of the brothers for their father. They didn’t even bother to take the tunic themselves and give the news to their father. They sent this shredded, bloody tunic to Jacob with a message. Only later, do they return home. How coldhearted they were!   

“So Jacob tore his clothes, and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days. Then all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, ‘Surely I will go down to Sheol in mourning for my son.’ So his father wept for him. Meanwhile, the Midianites sold him in Egypt to Potiphar, Pharaoh’s officer, the captain of the bodyguard.”

When you read the rest of Genesis, you will notice that until Jacob was reunited with Joseph, the rest of his years were wrapped up in mourning for his son. There is no mention of his ongoing mourning for his beloved Rachel, but there is for Joseph. It is this last example of favoritism shown to Joseph in Joseph’s presumed death that drives Judah, his older brother, the key figure in these final chapters of Genesis, away from home. It is what causes Judah to reject his family and the faith of his father.

Personally, as I read and read the tragic events of this family’s self-induced dysfunction, and knowing that it is not a make-believe story but true, and repeated every day today, in various forms, it grieves my heart. It was so unnecessary, as conflict in families usually is. One of the major roots of this family’s ongoing conflict goes way back to Jacob’s two marriages, and the bitterness and rivalry between Rachel and Leah. Eventually their bitterness and rivalry spread to their children. In the end, the target of the children’s bitterness was their passive father and his favored son, their younger brother, Joseph. We see within this family an illustration of what the writer to the Hebrews warns us of, in Hebrews 12:15, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.” Jacob’s entire family, all of his sons, daughters and slaves were caught up in this web of bitterness. It had infected the entire family, and if it were allowed to continue, it would have destroyed the family. At this point in their history, everyone was pointing their fingers and blaming everyone else. No one was ready to take responsibility for his own actions.”

Built into this warning in Hebrews is the obvious instruction to each of us to be on guard against bitterness and when it raises its ugly head, deal with it. Like violets, if you keep watering bitterness and don’t take action to rip it up by the roots, bitterness will spread and take over your “garden.”

So, what’s the cure? What steps should they and we take when we witness signs of bitterness in our own hearts?

First, before bitterness even becomes an issue, each of us must be committed to attacking our own bitterness and destroying it as though our very lives depend upon it...because in fact, they do! When we witness signs of bitterness in our hearts, we need to dig it out, and if there is a root of bitterness, attack the entire root before it spreads any further and poisons the hearts of others. For if we don’t take this approach, bitterness will not only poison relationships in our family, but relationships we have at work, at church, at school and any clubs we participate in.

What options did Joseph’s brothers have to their own bitterness? They had the same options we do and there are basically two: You can choose, as they did, to simply nurse their grudge. But as someone else once said, “No matter how long you nurse a grudge, it won’t get better.”  If history is any teacher, it instructs us that nursing a grudge can lead to murder. This first option doesn’t seem like a wise choice. The second option is much wiser, because it is the biblical option: I will suggest four practical steps to this option of attacking bitterness that has helped me when the tendency to become bitter raises its ugly head in my heart. 

The first step is simply to admit your sin of bitterness. Don’t try to camouflage it, deny it or cover it up. As Christians, we still have this thing called “the flesh” that indwells each of us and causes us to selfishly seek out our own glory. We need to recognize it and not allow the flesh to prevent us from speaking truly to ourselves as to what is going on in our hearts. If we refuse to face the facts about ourselves, we risk what Jesus infers can happen to us, as he spoke to this issue in His Sermon on the Mount. He said, in Matthew 5:21-22, “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”

As I read Jesus’ words about a person’s anger or rage, and how bitterness has caused someone to verbally attack another, Jesus says that these things, from God’s perspective are the roots of murder, and can, in fact, lead to murder. To put it another way, if I allow my bitterness to fester toward another, rather than being committed to dealing with it biblically, I am guilty of murder.

The second step, which is also done in private, between just me and the Lord, is to forgive my offender. Again, in Jesus’ same Sermon on the Mount, but a few verses later, in His instructions to us as to how we are to pray, Jesus highlights the importance of forgiving those who have wronged us. He says, Matthew 6:12-15, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.] For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”

I’m convinced that the “temptation” and “evil” of which Jesus speaks here, in context includes the evil of bitterness that destroys relationships. Furthermore, according to these verses, the hallmark of someone who is saved, is that person forgives, doesn’t carry a grudge or allow bitterness to make its home in one’s heart.

The Apostle Paul supports this in his words to the Ephesians when he writes, Ephesians 4:31-32, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

The Apostle adds another step to this process of eradicating bitterness from our hearts. And like the previous two, this one is done in private, between you and the Lord. Paul instructs us Ephesians 4:26 to “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” This speaks to the urgency and the timeliness of dealing with bitterness that has grown into anger. Refuse to let the sun go down on your anger.  Be committed to take these steps immediately and the next step as soon as possible. There is no room for half-hearted attempts at dealing with bitterness and forgiveness. Refuse to let a day go by without taking these beginning steps to removing bitterness so that genuine reconciliation can take place.

Only after we have taken these first three steps is our heart ready to take the next step. And this next step is to confront the offender who hurt you. Take the offender aside to speak with him. When you have been sinned against, when you feel wronged by someone, Jesus says, “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.” (Matthew 18:15)

This is the step that, if any of the brothers had taken it with Joseph, or had taken it with their father, so much bitterness and the resultant effects of bitterness never would have been experienced by their family.

Joseph was only 17. He had a lot to learn about life. He needed instruction concerning his faults. And whether we are 17 or 70 or older, we still have faults and need the loving correction and reminders of family. Like all of us when we were younger, Joseph didn’t know enough to know when he didn’t know enough. He needed someone to instruct him.

These brothers weren’t big enough or humble enough or mature enough to do these things. But somebody in the family had to step up to the plate and stop this foolishness before there was no hope. Somebody had to take responsibility for their own actions and stop this train wreck. And as we will see, eventually two brothers do: both Judah and Joseph. As we continue our study in the future, you will see that Judah finally comes to his senses, confess his sin, repents and humbly chooses to do whatever is necessary to save and reconcile his family.

Again, as we continue our study of Genesis, you will learn that Joseph, through the school of hard knocks, is humbled and learns of the foolishness of his own way. Furthermore, he learns that God has not abandoned him in this deeply painful and long, learning experience, but has used it all for good.

My friend, if you find yourself battling bitterness and painful relationships, God has not abandoned you. He is right there working in the midst of it all to bring about good in your life. Your only responsibility is to obey what the Word of God says about your role...like applying these steps we have looked at this morning.

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