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HEALING REGRET
Genesis 46:28-47:28
Bob Bonner
October 28, 2007
Several years ago, USA TODAY did a survey of people, asking the question: “If you could start over in life, would you do things much differently?” The following were their results:
- ages 16-31 59%
- ages 32-50 71%
- ages 51 + 59%
What this survey revealed was that more than half the people questioned had significant regrets about the way they had lived their lives. It also revealed, that after the greatest period of recognizing their mistakes, those who had regrets, had somehow made significant additional changes to their lives that turned some of their regrets into positives. Or, the hurt that comes with regrets found healing.
In case you don’t contact with the word “regret” allow me to give you a definition: Regret can be defined as “An expression of distressing emotion, such as sorrow or disappointment aroused by circumstances beyond one’s power to repair.”
Most of us carry with us certain levels of regrets. For some, their regrets are burdensome, and they look for relief from the pain of their past. Some find relief some don’t. This morning we are going to look at a man’s life, who had lived the majority of his life, more than 80% of his years, pretty much ignoring God. Then, late in life, he came to his senses, sought after God and began to walk in submission to God’s will. However, immediately after turning to God, his life didn’t suddenly turn rosy. In fact, as is quite common in situations like this, his life grew darker as he realized more deeply all the opportunities he had missed to invest his life in his family and making a significant eternal difference by serving his Lord. This man’s name is Jacob, or his spiritual name, given to him by God, “Israel.”
Our study this morning finds us in Genesis 46:28. Jacob is camped at an oasis in the desert called, Beersheba, which is near the southernmost border of Canaan. Jacob has just asked God if it was his will to go to Egypt to be reunited with his son, Joseph. Up to this point, God had forbid Jacob’s family to return to Egypt. As much as Jacob wanted to see Joseph, he didn’t want to knowingly disobey God, so he seeks out God. This is a first for Jacob, to seek out God’s will for his life. It is the real beginning of Jacob’s spirit-filled living for God. He realizes at this point, all the missed opportunities he has had in life by not making his relationship with God the priority of his life. Knowing that God wants him to go to Egypt, to be reunited with his son, Joseph, whom he has believed to be dead for twenty-two years, fills him with tremendous excitement and hope. We pick up our story at the point of Jacob and his family leaving Beersheba and heading full force to Egypt.
“Now he [Jacob] sent Judah before him to Joseph, to point out the way before him to Goshen; and they came into the land of Goshen. Joseph prepared his chariot and went up to Goshen to meet his father Israel; as soon as he appeared before him, he fell on his neck and wept on his neck a long time.”
Becky and I drive to Seattle three or four times a year to visit our daughter and her family. Hence we have made the trip probably ten times and wouldn’t get lost if we didn’t have a map. However, this past summer we picked up a new road map because we have specific stops we tend to make along the way, and depending on the time of day that we are traveling, it is important to know the distances between those stops. For Jacob and most of his family, this route to Egypt was unfamiliar. The terrain from Beersheba to Goshen, in a good year, is pretty barren; but during several years of a famine, water was really scarce. They didn’t have a road map they could pick up at a local gas station to guide them in travel from one destination to the next. Hence, they needed someone who had made this trip a few times before to lead the way. The fact that Jacob chose Judah over his older brothers is another telltale sign that Jacob had seen a major change in Judah’s life, and hence saw that through Judah, the next real leader of his family would come.
When Joseph gets the news that his family has arrived and were in Goshen, Joseph forgets his exalted position, wastes no time hitching up his chariot to meet his father. Once they see each other they have this emotional embrace, the result of a long-anticipated reunion on both their parts. How long was this emotional embrace? We don’t know. But it is a sure thing that they didn’t merely shake hands and say, “Hello father, nice to see you.” “Hello son, how are the family and kids?” This scene was explosive with emotion. Once again, we see that these saints were anything but stoic. They were robust and authentic in expressing their emotions.
Once they got hold of themselves, we read, “Then Israel said to Joseph, ‘Now let me die, since I have seen your face, that you are still alive.’”
All father Jacob had lived for, for the past two weeks was simply to lay eyes on a long-lost son whom he thought had been dead for twenty-two years. Notice that Jacob is called Israel, his second name given to him by God. It is used here once again because it demonstrates the spiritual change in Jacob’s life is still ongoing. With each passing day and for the rest of his life, Jacob is becoming a man committed to living by faith...moment by moment seeking to walk with God with the remaining years of his life.
With the grand initial welcome complete, Joseph gives some instructions to his brothers and family as to what is going to happen next. He says, “I will go up and tell Pharaoh, and will say to him, ‘My brothers and my father’s household, who were in the land of Canaan, have come to me; and the men are shepherds, for they have been keepers of livestock; and they have brought their flocks and their herds and all that they have.” When Pharaoh calls you and says, ‘What is your occupation?’ you shall say, ‘Your servants have been keepers of livestock from our youth even until now, both we and our fathers,’ that you may live in the land of Goshen; for every shepherd is loathsome to the Egyptians.’”
These instructions from Joseph may appear puzzling at first, but they were very wise. One must keep in mind that the Egyptians were culturally and intellectually the most advanced nation of the world at the time. Although Jacob and his family didn’t realize the important educational role Egypt would play in the nation of Israel’s history, this time lived under Egyptian influence would play a valuable future role to Israel. Furthermore, Egypt felt themselves racially superior and were reluctant to mix and intermarry with foreigners, especially shepherds, not that Jacob’s family was planning to stay in Egypt long enough to intermarry with them. As we will see later, they had come down here to simply get through the famine and had planned to return home as soon as it was over. Lo and behold, to everyone’s surprise, Jacob’s family would live in Egypt 400 years before they as a family would return to Canaan to live.
Some, at first, may view Joseph’s warning not to reveal to the Egyptians that they were shepherds as being deceitful. On the contrary, it was wise. As Chuck Swindoll points out in his book on Joseph’s life, called Joseph, A Man Of Integrity And Forgiveness, [p. 173,] he writes, “Joseph knew how the Egyptians thought and reacted. He had not only worked with Pharaoh but had thoroughly studied and observed the man and his people. That explains why he warned his brothers, ‘Look, shepherds are loathsome to these people. You’re not in Canaan any more, you’re in Egypt. And when you’re in Egypt, you have to think like an Egyptian. So I want you to tell Pharaoh that you are keepers of livestock.” This was the truth. He wasn’t asking them to lie, but to avoid using a word or concept—shepherd—that was repugnant to Pharaoh.’”
I agree with Swindoll’s assessment of Joseph. He was being wise, not deceptive when he told his family to refer to themselves as merely “keepers of livestock” rather than referring to themselves as something loathsome or of the lowest caste in a multi-tiered caste system. In fact, his approach shows me the similar wisdom the Apostle Paul expressed in his exhortations to the Christians at Corinth. He didn’t want the Christians there to live lives of unnecessary offense to Jews or non-Jews. He wanted their lives to be impactful. To put yourself in a bad light, to deliberately make yourself something that is loathsome, would have made God’s commission to all Christians, to introduce others to Jesus and the Gospel, difficult if not impossible. Remember what Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 9:20-22 and 1 Cor. 10:32? He said, “And to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law, ....that I might win those who are under the Law...to those without the Law...that I might win those who are without the law...to the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men that I may by all means save some.” And, “Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or the church of God;” Paul’s purpose was not to deceive or corrupt the truth of the gospel. It was to build a bridge to those around them rather than barriers of offense.
Having given his family members some quick instructions of what not to do; Joseph wastes little time introducing his family members to Pharaoh. We read, “Then Joseph went in and told Pharaoh, and said, ‘My father and my brothers and their flocks and their herds and all that they have, have come out of the land of Canaan; and behold, they are in the land of Goshen.’”
Notice, that Joseph clearly states to Pharaoh the truth that his family members have not only herds of animals, but flocks, as in shepherd’s flocks. He trusts Pharaoh, who is not a native Egyptian, by telling him the whole truth. In doing this, Joseph wants to assure the Pharaoh that neither he nor his family entertain any social or political ambitions in Egypt. He then introduces five of his brothers to Pharaoh. “Then Pharaoh said to his brothers, ‘What is your occupation?’ So they said to Pharaoh, ‘Your servants are shepherds, both we and our fathers.’ They said to Pharaoh, ‘We have come to sojourn in the land, for there is no pasture for your servants’ flocks, for the famine is severe in the land of Canaan. Now, therefore, please let your servants live in the land of Goshen.’”
Allow me to point out a couple of key observations from these verses. First, note that the brothers clearly state that they have only come to Egypt to “sojourn.” This is a term used to describe a temporary living situation. They have no intention of staying in Egypt and laying claim to permanent property. They were only there because of the famine.
Also note that they clearly ignore Joseph’s counsel and tell Pharaoh right up front that they are shepherds. Why would they do that when Joseph had just instructed them not to? Here are two possible reasons: First: Although these older brothers were being changed by God as a result of the previous years of experience in the school of hard knocks, some things were yet to change in their lives. They were still older brothers, prideful and finding it difficult to take instructions from their younger brother. It’s possible that like us, rebellion is hard to sweep clean from a person’s life, even in the face of danger. If this is the case, note that Joseph allows them to ignore his instructions without a word of correction. They are now in Egypt and they have to sink or swim on their own.
But there is a second possible reason why they disagreed with Joseph’s instructions. It’s possible that they had lived for years practicing deceit and had learned that lying doesn’t end up getting you anywhere. Hence, rather than risk being accused as liars, these men tell the truth, quickly adding, “but we don’t plan to stay here long. We are sojourners. As soon as this famine is over, we will inconvenience you no longer. We will go home.”
Which, if either of those reasons are correct, they must all have been pleasantly surprised by Pharaoh’s response. “Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘Your father and your brothers have come to you. The land of Egypt is at your disposal; settle your father and your brothers in the best of the land, let them live in the land of Goshen; and if you know any capable men among them, then put them in charge of my livestock.’”
Goshen is in the delta region of the lower Nile, which rests in northern Egypt. It would have been a perfect place to raise sheep and goats and other livestock. It had good grass and was well-watered. Pharaoh needed someone to tend his ever growing herd of cattle. So why not turn them over to a lower caste of people who were experienced in this? Archeologists have found Egyptian inscriptions that frequently mention superintendents—often foreigners—of the royal cattle. Within their own trade, Joseph’s brothers could advance themselves in Pharaoh’s royal administration and enjoy privileges and protection not normally accorded aliens. Furthermore, this job would give these Hebrews a good cover before the eyes of the surrounding Egyptians who didn’t like shepherds. However, don’t miss the obvious omission in Pharaoh’s request for them to care for his livestock. He never again brings up the fact that they are shepherds at heart.
After getting business out of the way, Joseph leaves the best and most important to last. In verse 7 we read “Then Joseph brought his father Jacob and presented him to Pharaoh; and Jacob blessed Pharaoh.” Such a blessing or greeting by such an underling, like Jacob, was customary in these times. The sons do not bless Pharaoh at their meeting, because that honor rested only with the patriarch. Most likely, by this time Pharaoh has heard the whole family’s story and has looked forward to meeting Joseph’s father.
Like many who have been blessed by trustworthy employees, men of integrity and skill, Pharaoh looks forward to meeting the father who had raised such a fine son. Pharaoh’s first question of Jacob might seem a little out of the ordinary. “Pharaoh said to Jacob, ‘How many years have you lived?’”
Dr. Bruce Waltke informs us that Egyptians were preoccupied with death. Jacob at 130 already exceeds the ideal Egyptian life span of 110 years. Furthermore, we know from the text that at this point, Pharaoh, himself, was relatively a young man. You might recall earlier in this story Joseph’s words sent back to his family by his brothers that Joseph had been like “a father to Pharaoh.” These words strongly suggest that Pharaoh was younger than Joseph, maybe by ten years.
Knowing that many Egyptians saw long years as a sign of having lived a good life, Jacob must have surprised Pharaoh by his following candid response, “So Jacob said to Pharaoh, ‘The years of my sojourning are one hundred and thirty; few and unpleasant have been the years of my life, nor have they attained the years that my father’s lived during the days of their sojourning.’”
To Pharaoh’s surprise, Jacob becomes candidly honest with him. At this point in his life, Jacob is a weary old man, worn by anxiety and trouble, broken and disabled. He basically tells Pharaoh, in comparison to other godly men, his years have been lessened due to his past choices. Furthermore, the present consequences that I have had to live with all these years have been not fulfilling but unpleasant. All in all, this is quite an admission of honest regret on Jacob’s part.
To help put his words into perspective, compare the ages and eulogies of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. According to Genesis 25:8, Abraham died at 175. The text there mentions two descriptive phrases that describe his life at his death. The first describes Abraham dying at a “ripe old age.” This expression describes how he died physically. He lived life like a fruit, ready to be picked when it came to full maturity, rather than living a life ended early by being prematurely picked, or a life that was left on the tree too long because it was encumbered with a disease. For illustration sake, like an unpicked apple, left on the tree to spoil or be attacked by worms. From our human perspective, Abraham died just right. He lived life physically well, and then when it was time to die, he died.
The second expression that described Abraham’s life points to the quality of his life. We read that he died “satisfied.” This is a reference to a life well-lived or a life that was rewardingly full. In comparison to his father Abraham, Isaac lived almost the same number of years as his father. He died at 180. In Genesis 35:29, we are told that Isaac died at a “ripe old age.” But different than his father’s eulogy, Isaac’s does not mention that he died “satisfied.” And the reason for that was that Isaac didn’t finish out the last half of his life well. But rather, as a senior citizen, he had turned away from God and being involved in ministry to his family and world. Instead, his god had become his belly, his appetite for food. All he could think about was the next time he could go out to eat at J J North’s!
When we come to Jacob’s eulogy, in Genesis 47:28-31; 59:33, we learn that Jacob died at 147, (a sign of a life lived with lessening spiritual impact) and neither of the two expressions, “ripe old age” nor “satisfied” are mentioned. Hence, from the human point of view, Jacob’s life had every reason to be viewed by him as one full of regrets. His first marriage was a bitter disappointment, and the loss of his beloved second wife in childbirth was a lifelong heartache. Even though he probably loved his children, poor fathering led to lost opportunities of having close relationships with his kids. Furthermore, many of these situations occurred in his life because of his own poor choices—the greatest of which was his not making the Lord number one in his life. He did not really begin to look to God until the last seventeen years of his life.
As a result, what he tells Pharaoh is, “It’s no great deal to grow old, if your life is strewn with regrets.” And then, this humbled man, turns and leaves Pharaoh’s presence, according to verse 30. But, as we will see in a moment, Jacob still has seventeen years left to live. Life is not over for Jacob. He can still find hope in his remaining years. Any time someone turns back to the Lord, as Jacob has just done a few days earlier at Beersheba, God mercifully will still work in and through his life. He is definitely not finished with Jacob’s life.
At this point, the scene changes to contrasting Jacob’s family’s life during the rest of the famine and years to follow against the rest of the average Egyptian’s lives. We read in verses 11-12, about the first few years for Joseph’s kin. “So Joseph settled his father and his brothers and gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, in the best of the land, in the land of Rameses, as Pharaoh had ordered. Joseph provided his father and his brothers and all his father’s household with food, according to their little ones.”
From the very outset, Joseph’s family has jobs and food provided for them. They don’t have to worry about where their next meals are going to come from. In fact, with the monies they brought with them, they are positioned to buy up land and become very profitable during a famine when everyone else around them is struggling to survive. What a picture of God’s mercy toward a family, when the father turns back to making his relationship with God the priority of his life.
In contrast, follow what’s happening to the neighbors who live all around them. “Now there was no food in all the land, because the famine was very severe, so that the land of Egypt and the land of Canaan languished because of the famine. Joseph gathered all the money that was found in the land of Egypt and in the land of Canaan for the grain which they bought, and Joseph brought the money into Pharaoh’s house. When the money was all spent in the land of Egypt and in the land of Canaan, [meaning when every average Joe had no money, and the Pharaoh had it all] all the Egyptians came to Joseph and said, ‘Give us food, for why should we die in your presence? For our money is gone.’ Then Joseph said, ‘Give up your livestock, and I will give you food for your livestock, since your money is gone.’ So they brought their livestock to Joseph, and Joseph gave them food in exchange for the horses and the flocks and the herds and the donkeys; and he fed them with food in exchange for all their livestock that year.”
Just in case you are not keeping track, that year ends the fifth year of famine. At this point, all the Egyptian citizens have no money and no cattle. They have traded it all in for food. “When that year was ended, they came to him the next year and said to him, ‘We will not hide from my lord that our money is all spent, and the cattle are my lord’s. There is nothing left for my lord except our bodies [“corpses” characterizing a person in weakness, oppression or trouble] and our lands. Why should we die before your eyes, both we and our land? Buy us and our land for food, and we and our land will be slaves to Pharaoh. So give us seed, that we may live and not die, and that the land may not be desolate.’ So Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh, for every Egyptian sold his field, because the famine was severe upon them. Thus the land became Pharaoh’s. As for the people, he removed them to the cities from one end of Egypt’s border to the other. Only the land of the priests he did not buy, for the priests had an allotment from Pharaoh, and they lived off the allotment which Pharaoh gave them. Therefore, they did not sell their land. Then Joseph said to the people, ‘Behold, I have today bought you and your land for Pharaoh; now, here is seed for you, and you may sow the land. At the harvest you shall give a fifth to Pharaoh, and four-fifths shall be your own for seed of the field and for your food and for those of your households and as food for your little ones.’”
In other words, these people have now lost their last assets--their land. They have no money, no cattle and no land. Joseph pays for their land with food. They live through the sixth year, with one year of famine left to go. He gives them additional seed to plant during the sixth year, so that during the seventh year, when the famine ends, they will have a crop, that 80% of which they keep for themselves. The rest is a royal tax for the privilege to farm the crown’s land and for the starting seed. By ancient Near Eastern standards, 20% was considered low; the average at the time was 33 1/3%.
It is true that Joseph’s management of the situation created a feudalistic economy, but the alternative—that of placing everyone on welfare would have destroyed personal and national morale. Furthermore, the people were blessed by such a generous offer. They have been given housing in town, a place to work, food to eat and the possibility of getting ahead again if they work hard and budget their monies well. The people in the end, had learned to trust Joseph, and retained their self-respect. That’s why we read in verses 25-26, “So they said, ‘You have saved our lives! Let us find favor in the sight of my lord, and we will be Pharaoh’s slaves.’ Joseph made it a statute concerning the land of Egypt valid to this day, that Pharaoh should have the fifth; only the land of the priests did not become Pharaoh’s.” Bottom line, these citizens were grateful to Joseph...they were being treated fairly and generously. There could be no other plan that would work as well.
In light of their condition, Moses closes this scene with what transpired for Joseph’s family members during the last years of Jacob’s life. “Now Israel lived in the land of Egypt, in Goshen, and they acquired property in it and were fruitful and became very numerous. Jacob lived in the land of Egypt seventeen years; so the length of Jacob’s life was one hundred and forty-seven years.” While the Egyptians were living in government housing, working the land for 80% profit, Joseph’s family has little or no expenses, are getting paid a salary and are able to immediately use the monies they had brought with them to buy up prime real estate. They became established land owners before the Egyptians could even buy back their land.
Let’s take a moment to get a bird’s eye view of what has occurred in our study. As for Jacob, at this point in his life, he experienced setbacks and tragic failures of faith all along the way. He had come to the end of himself, filled with serious regrets as to the way his life and family had turned out. Even though a few days earlier, he had returned to seeking the Lord’s direction in his life, he was burdened by his regrets for a poorly invested life.
But God was not finished with Jacob. God mercifully provided abundantly for Jacob’s family, when it was really undeserved by them. Following his return to the Lord, humbled Jacob is finding out personally, that our God is indeed, a God of new beginnings for all who humble themselves before the Lord and seek His leadership in their lives. In the end, God has so rescued Jacob’s life, that God is not ashamed to be called “the God of Jacob” twenty-two times in the Bible and to name God’s chosen people after Jacob, the nation of “Israel.”
Our God is a redeeming God. When we turn to Him, He can even turn our evil or mistakes around and use them for good. Use them for lessons for us and others. As I look closely at these closing chapters of Genesis, I see signs of a man whose last seventeen years were not wasted. As I read these pages, I see a man who became sensitive to that which is of high spiritual importance and set out to invest in those things during his last years. When you read in these future chapters how Jacob blessed each of his twelve sons, you see a father who must have spent time really getting to know each of his children. As he did, he came to realize their strengths and weaknesses. Eventually, God showed Jacob what would become of his children in the future and Jacob then blessed his children accordingly, just before he closed his eyes for the last time.
In the end, I’m sure Jacob still had regrets, but he now had more of a grateful heart toward God, and hope for his family’s future, in spite of his poor parenting. Seeing the transformation of Judah, the maturity of Joseph and possibly the spiritual growth of some of his other children must have blessed Jacob’s life. All was not lost.
Here are some closing lessons we can take with us from our study of Jacob’s life: First, confession, repentance and submission of your life to God are the necessary ingredients to a new beginning or personal revival. None of the blessings that Jacob would have experienced in these latter years would have come if he hadn’t stopped at Beersheba and reconnected his life with God. To reconnect, confession, repentance and submission are key.
Second, when Jacob and others who have begun anew with the Lord, raw arrogance and trying to hide one’s flaws or to appear to be something we are not, seems to go by the wayside. Somehow, (and I say somehow, because I’m not smart enough to know how it happens, but only that it does) being honest with ourselves and others about our weaknesses spurs on our spiritual growth rather than hinders it. Hence, genuine spiritual revival breeds the ability to be vulnerably honest with ourselves and others concerning our shortcomings.
Finally, we see that regardless of Jacob’s past mistakes or wrongdoings, as he continued to seek after God, God blessed him and gave him a hope for his future. Or to put it more in the form of a lesson: As one continues in spiritual revival, seeking God, His present blessings bring a healing salve to past regrets, and hope that better things lie ahead.
Helen Mallicoat is a woman familiar with having to live with regret and worry. She also understood where to find joy. She wrote this poem, which I believe illustrates the key for Jacob and all who suffer with regrets and would like to experience a life directed more by hope and joy. She writes:
I was regretting the past
And fearing the future...
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
“MY NAME IS I AM.” He paused.
I waited. He continued,
“WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE PAST,
WITH ITS MISTAKES AND REGRETS
IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WAS.”
“WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE,
WITH ITS PROBLEMS AND FEARS,
IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WILL BE”
“WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS MOMENT,
IT IS NOT HARD.
I AM HERE.
MY NAME IS I AM.”
Healing wounds of regrets and finding hope for today comes when we keep our eyes upon Jesus. When we intentionally make our relationship and walk with Christ the priority of our lives.
How are you doing as it concerns your own spiritual revival or progress in your walk with God? Are you living intentionally, spending time daily with the Lord in prayer and reading His Word and submitting to His will as spelled out in the Bible? If you are struggling to maintain a consistent walk with Christ, and you want to become more consistent in your walk with Christ, I have a suggestion for you. One way to aid in spiritual revival is to build quality relationships with other Christians who are committed to encouraging your spiritual growth. One place you can find that kind of encouragement is in our up-coming “ReDi Groups” or Relational Discipleship groups. These are small groups designed specifically to encourage your walk with Christ. These groups typically will be meeting once a week from 1 ½ hours to 2 hours. If you are interested and would like someone to contact you about these groups, please call the church office and we will get in touch with you.
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