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RESOLVING CONFLICTS IN MINISTRY
Philippians 4:1-3
Bob Bonner
August 24, 2008
Imagine for a moment that one hundred years from now, someone discovers a box up in an attic. They open it to find a Christian’s personal journal of their walk with the Lord. In that journal they find recorded prayers, personal struggles, joyous occasions, and insights learned from study of the Scriptures. As this stranger picks up and reads page by page the spiritual journey of this Christian’s life, suddenly they come upon your name. This Christian has written about your impact on their life in their journal. What would you like this stranger to discover about you from this journal? That you were a very kind and loving person, that you were one who loved Christ with all of your heart, that you were good at making people feel at ease, or that you were a hot head who had hurt or embarrassed or disrespected them.
For the next several sessions we are going to study a passage of Scripture that concerns an historic situation that took place about 2,000 years ago. The instructions in this passage are directed at two Christian ladies and their church family concerning a conflict that had arisen among them. In a very real sense, we are being permitted to peek into a personal letter that was originally meant for someone else, but that God believed was important enough to preserve and include in the Word of God. He did that presumably because He knew that we would wrestle with the very same struggles that the Christians in the early church wrestled with.
We are going to start looking at Philippians 4:1-9. In it, we will find the names of two Christian ladies from the church at Philippi and how they will be remembered in history. Sadly for them, the thing that they are remembered for is not their past faithful service for their Lord, which was huge, but that they had a falling out so serious that it had disrupted the unity and thus the ministry of the local church in Philippi. No one today knows what these women disagreed about, although presumably everyone else in the church at the time knew. It must have been festering for a long time, because Paul had heard about it in faraway Rome, and he was so concerned about the repercussions their conflict was having on the church and its mission that he found it necessary to mention it, and them, by name in his letter.
In his book, Well Intentioned Dragons, Marshall Shelley reminds us that people today are no different than these two Christian ladies who lived during the first century. He identifies some of the people behind such disharmony that is too often found among Christians in churches today. Surprisingly, they’re usually folks who don’t necessarily mean to be difficult, but they are anyway. Shelley writes:
Within the church, they are often sincere, well-meaning saints, but they
leave ulcers, strained relationships, and hard feelings in their wake. They
don’t consider themselves difficult people. They don’t sit up nights
thinking of ways to be nasty. Often they are pillars of the community—
talented, strong personalities, deservingly respected—but for some
reason, they undermine the ministry of the church. They are not
naturally rebellious or pathological; they are loyal church members,
convinced they’re serving God, but they wind up doing more harm than
good. They can drive pastors crazy . . . or out of the church. Some
dragons are openly critical. They are the ones who accuse you of being
(pick one) too spiritual, not spiritual enough, too dominant, too laid back,
too narrow, too loose, too structured, too disorganized, or ulterior in your
motives. . . . Sightings of these dragons are all too common. As one
veteran pastor says, “Anyone who’s been in ministry more than an hour
and a half knows the wrath of a dragon.”
Or, as Harry Ironside described it, “Wherever there’s light, there’s bugs!”
Realizing that not much has changed in human nature over the past 2,000 years, let’s read our passage for this morning and see if we can’t take away something profitable for our lives today, something that will make us more effective as individuals and as a church for the progress of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In Philippians 4:1-3, we read these words:
1Therefore, my beloved brethren whom I long to see, my joy and
crown, in this way stand firm in the Lord, my beloved. 2I urge Euodia
and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord. 3Indeed, true
companion, I ask you also to help these women who have shared my
struggle in the cause of the gospel, together with Clement also and the
rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
The very first word of verse 1, “therefore” is worthy of mention. This word signals for us that Paul is coming to the conclusion of his letter to the Philippians. We are in the home stretch, so to speak. In fact, everything he has written to the Philippians thus far by way of instruction has been preparatory for this very specific charge. This concluding charge has been the Apostle Paul’s ultimate goal for his message to the Philippians, ever since he first mentioned it back in 1:27. This charge was for them to “stand firm.” But to “stand firm” in what?
In order to answer that, we must go back to the beginning of Philippians to review Paul’s first charge to them to “stand firm,” look at it in context, and then trace his general comments that follow up to where we are this morning. So look with me at Philippians 1:27. There the Apostle first challenges them with these words:
Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ,
so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of
you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving
together for the faith of the gospel.
At the very beginning, with his words “standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together,” Paul gently signals to them that he is aware of their disunity as a group of Christians trying to do ministry together for the gospel. They are not acting as one or working together. What he hints at here, he later explains in the balance of the letter.
In 2:1-4, he points out the cause of their disunity: their arrogant selfishness. They were more concerned about their own self interests and having their expectations met in the manner in which they as a church did ministry than they were about being unified to get the job done.
They lacked the humility necessary to work together as a team to honor Jesus Christ. Hence, from 2:5-30, Paul illustrates what humility looks like: Jesus Christ’s leaving heaven to come to earth, putting on human flesh, and even allowing us to crucify Him so that He in turn could pay the penalty for our wrong doings against God. Jesus stands out as the epitome of what it means to be humble.
Following Christ’s example, Paul gives them a few examples of what they need to start doing to imitate Christ’s humility, even using His own life as an example. He follows this up with two more human examples of humility in the persons of Timothy and Epaphroditis.
In 3:1-3, Paul mentions the only disunifying theological attack in Philippi against the true doctrine of the gospel. This comes at the hands of the Judaizers. To correct the error, in verses 4-11 Paul uses his own life to explain how it is only by faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ that we can be forever forgiven, accepted, loved, and approved of by God. Furthermore, he explains that it is through the very same power that Jesus exercised to raise Himself up from the dead that Jesus Christ will do His transforming work in our lives, conforming us to His image. Realizing all that Jesus had done for him, Paul tells his readers that his sole mission in life is to get to know Jesus better day by day. He believed that Jesus would perform a miracle in his life, making him more like Christ.
Furthermore, because of what he has experienced in Christ, Paul has worked together with other Christians to promote the progress of the Gospel. Sometimes that meant Paul had to humbly suffer at the hands of fellow Christians, who were good-willed and good-intentioned but nonetheless had made some very serious mistakes that caused Paul much unnecessary hurt. But rather than complain about his own hurts and injustices, he focused on forgiving those who had hurt him so that the gospel would move forward.
With that commitment in mind, Paul then challenges his Philippian friends, in 3:15-21, to imitate his humble commitment to Christ and the progress of the gospel over their own comfort and convenience. He wanted them to know that, as they were citizens of heaven, one day Jesus Christ would return, reward them for their faithful service, and take them to enjoy perfect fellowship with Him forever. Hence they were to live today, focused not on this temporal world but on what counts for eternity--knowing Christ and promoting the Gospel.
And that brings us back to his repeated command, in 4:1, to “stand firm.” They are to humbly “stand firm,” unified for the cause of the gospel. But as he returns to this command of standing firm, Paul gets uncomfortably specific with these Philippians. As they say in the South, “He’s dun gone from preachin’ to meddlin’.” He concludes this letter by speaking specifically to the challenge that faced this first century church: the dissension in the church brought about by two faithful Christian women who had gotten crosswise with each other.
Paul’s command in verse 1 to “stand firm” is followed by a series of imperatives which explain how they are to stand firm and to regain their unity to further the progress of the gospel. We will cover just one of those imperatives with the rest of our time this morning.
Please take note that just as Paul was gentle with them back in 1:27, when he first told them to stand firm, he is still very gentle in his correction of them here. He has no need to be harsh, because he loves them and they know he loves them. He calls them in verse 1, “my beloved brethren, whom I long to see, my joy and my crown . . . my beloved.” This expression to “long to see” occurs only here in the New Testament. It speaks of Paul’s strong desire to fellowship together with them, and reminds them that their relationship together had been birthed out of knowing Jesus and their common commitment to the cause of the gospel.
And then, he specifically takes aim at two women he knew very well. He names them in verse 2, Euodia and Syntyche. This is very unusual for Paul. He does here what he seldom does elsewhere in “conflict” settings—he names names. In a media-saturated culture like ours where naming the grand or the guilty is a way of life, it is hard for us to sense how extraordinary this moment is. Apart from greetings and the occasional mention of his co-workers or envoys, Paul rarely mentions anyone by name. He does so here, though, not because these two women are “bad people” who need to be singled out, but just the opposite. He loves them and wants them and the rest of their church family to get back together. All of them are all his fellow workers of whom he is proud, but recently they have fallen on some bad times.
Interestingly, in Greek, the names of these two women mean, “Success” and “Lucky” respectively. Syntyche or “Lucky” was named after the goddess of fortune which probably indicates her pagan upbringing. Either way, both were given names indicative of a parental desire for these two women to make good in the world.
These two women, according to verse 3, were among those who had labored with Paul for the cause of the gospel. They were part of his ministry team. These were mature women who should have known better to humbly handle their issues. What was their problem? We don’t know exactly, but it probably was not being sinned against or having been wronged by the other. If it were that kind of an issue, these two mature women would have applied Matthew 18 to the situation and worked through the process of repentance and forgiveness. It probably wasn’t a situation in which either woman was guilty of theological heresy, or Paul would have dealt with it immediately. What was at issue probably had to do with something as simple as their method of doing ministry and their not being of the same mind “in the Lord.” That phrase refers to what is from Christ’s perspective, what is eternally most important. The context of verse 3 and terms such as “gospel” and “fellow workers” lends to this possibility.
Hence, Paul’s directive for these two women is to “live in harmony in the Lord.” In his words of correction, notice how Paul does what he can to show no partiality toward either lady. He uses the same word of “urge” twice when addressing both of them, for both shared equal blame for their disruptive conduct. The fact that the apostle criticized them in this public letter shows that the entire church must have known about their personal conflicts.
This imperative, to “live in harmony,” is precisely the same language Paul used back in 2:2, to “be of the same mind.” And here, in 4:2, “in the Lord” forces us to recall Paul’s words that followed this same appeal stated in 2:2. Those words point to Jesus Christ. In 2:5-11 Paul spelled out in detail the humility of Christ as He took the “form of a slave” and thus became obedient unto death on a cross for the purpose of fulfilling a greater eternal goal, the redemption of the human race. Hence, to “live in harmony” or “to be of the same mind” requires Christ-like humility.
Let’s be clear here. The apostle isn’t asking them to hold the same opinions or agree on every jot or tittle of Scripture. He’s calling them to find harmony in their common Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and in their common desire to reach others for Him. They were to set their minds on the greater goal, not on their personal preferences or convictions concerning ministry. If ministry had to be done differently, and someone had to give in, then let humility overpower pride and arrogance for the furtherance of the Gospel.
Up to this point, humility had not been riding in the saddle for either of these two women. Instead, their personal pride was running roughshod over the situation. Maybe their pride was revealed in their desire to be right or to be in control or to have their expectations realized or to be visually appreciated. We really don’t know for sure what it was that was at the center of this conflict, but it sure wasn’t based in humility. Only if and when those two women stopped strategizing to accomplish their will and adopted Christ’s humble attitude would there be any hope for harmony and reconciliation.
By the way, I have heard other men, some jokingly and others not so jokingly, suggest that this is an example of what you can expect if you allow women into any form of a leadership position. Pettiness leads to dissension. That’s nothing but male chauvinism, pure and simple. I have seen numerous grown men, who should have known better, become just as petty as women because they couldn’t have their own way. This isn’t about gender. This is about the potential for arrogance in all human beings.
Occasionally, a dispute is so deep and long-standing that it takes the help of a third party, an objective mediator, to resolve matters and restore the relationship. Paul apparently felt the conflict between Euodia and Syntyche warranted just such a person, so he asks a close friend to act as an arbitrator. He says in verse 3, “Indeed, true companion, I ask you also to help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel.”
Who is this “true companion?” Some think the word translated “companion,” or “sysygus” in Greek, was the name of a person. A “sysygus” was a crossbar with loops on the end through which the heads of two oxen were placed so that together they could pull a cart or a plow. When you add the word “true” to it, one can see that Paul regarded this man as a genuine or true co-worker in the harness of ministry. We don’t know who this is person was, but my guess is that it was Epaphroditus, who Paul realized was his true companion in jail, and who was sent home to Philippi to read this letter to the church as well as to help these two divided women back to unity and reconciliation.
But sometimes, it takes more than one other person to help bring sanity to those caught in the web of conflict. So Paul encourages him to bring in Clement to help with resolving the conflict. Clement is someone we know nothing about except that he too was on Paul’s ministry team, along with these two women.
But then Paul adds, “and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.” It is clear from verse 3 that sometimes certain ministry conflicts require the whole community to help two who are in conflict agree to disagree and get on with it. That’s why he adds “the rest of my fellow workers.” Keep in mind that at issue here, what is to be considered most important is not some petty quarrel between two people, but what Paul says is at stake: “the cause of the Gospel” in Philippi.
One other interesting note: Paul doesn’t waste or add words for no reason. So why does he add his last comment, “whose names are in the Book of Life?” I think Paul added these words for two reasons: first, it gave the situation a proper eternal lens through which the present temporal situation must be viewed and handled. The “Book of Life” refers to that book mentioned in Revelation that has the names of every person who will be saved and spend eternity with Jesus Christ. Hence, the names therein represent the common citizenry of heaven, highlighting for us that this is an eternally important issue. Secondly, it was a reminder that both of these women were worthy of being treated with respect and honor during the resolution to the conflict, because they were both fellow citizens of heaven. They were good-intentioned and good-willed persons who had stumbled and needed to be gently corrected.
Euodia and Syntyche as believers were named in the Book of Life. But if they had had a choice, they probably would just as soon not have been named in The Book, the Bible, here in Paul’s letter to the Philippians. Thankfully, the canon of Scripture is closed, or there probably would be other names of believers listed who, because of their selfish pursuits or interests, caused major distress in the family of God. But just because we stand no chance to be publicly named by the Spirit of God for all of human history to see and read long after we are gone does not mean that we should not take seriously manners in ministry with one another for the cause of the Gospel. Our manners and methods in ministry, as they affect our relationships with one another, bring either ultimate glory to Christ and His gospel or shame to Him.
The names of these two godly and mature women listed in this text should be a lesson to all of us. None of us are immune to being deceived by our own pride. Each of us can say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Each of us can act selfishly when we are put out or inconvenienced. Each of us can wrestle with feeling disrespected and in turn stir up conflict.
For those of us who genuinely are seeking to know Christ more intimately, He will eventually show us when we have acted in self interest. And when we do finally see how self-centered we have acted, as these two presumably eventually did, we literally feel the heat and pain of personal shame or embarrassment come over us. And when we see a person being faced with their own pride and the fire of shame that goes along with it, we can quickly restore that person and extinguish the flame by turning on the fire hose of gracious love. We can forgive one another and be willing to suffer long with one another for the ultimate goal of the furtherance of the Gospel.
Conflicts and challenges in ministry will always be with us. One of my mentors, Ray Stedman, penned an oft-quoted poem that recognized this reality:
To live above
With the saints we love:
Oh, that will be glory!
But to live below
With the saints we know;
Now that’s a different story!
The key to living and working together involves maintaining a spirit of humility and a servant’s heart, and remembering that although those you work with and worship with are not perfect, they are good-intentioned and good-willed people who make mistakes. So treat them with the value and honor they deserve as fellow heirs and citizens of the Kingdom of God.
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