LOVE EXEMPLIFIED

Romans 12:9-13
Bob Bonner
March 17, 1996

True love requires one's active involvement in another's life. There is absolutely no way that one can legitimately say to another, "I really care about you, I really love you, but, I don't want to be involved in your life!"

If we could bring Kitty Genieve back from the dead, she would have told us that true love requires involvement. She was on her way home late one night and was attacked, raped and abused for 30 minutes until dead. However, she was not alone. 38 people watched the brutal attack and never even bothered to call the police.

Andrew Mormel could repeat the same story. He was aboard a subway car when he was attacked by a group of thugs. He was stabbed repeatedly in the stomach and bled profusely as they robbed him and fled. 11 other people on that subway car watched him fall to the floor and die without ever coming to his assistance.

Eleanor Bradly was shopping downtown in New York City on 5th Avenue. She stepped up on the curb, tripped and fell, breaking her leg. She cried for help as she lay on the side walk. The busy pedestrians on the side walk ignored her, not for 2 minutes but for 40 minutes. They stepped over her and around her before a cab driver finally stopped, put her in his cab and took her to the hospital. [LOVE EXPOSED, Swindoll, taped message on Rom. 12:9-13]

True love demands expression. True love is not something that is merely a warm feeling in the pit of one's stomach. True love expresses itself inaction toward another. What kind of actions? In our passage for this morning, Romans 12:9 the Apostle Paul speaks to this subject of the actions of love. We want to look at "love exemplified" this week and next. But before we look at this section, since it has been weeks since we were in Romans, allow me to remind you of the context of this section.

Up to Romans 12, Paul has described and thoroughly proclaimed to us the magnificent work of a merciful God on our behalf. He has explained that we were so helpless in our sinful condition that none of us, on our own merit could have ever earned our acceptance by God. Then, he went on to tell us that God sent His son to die in our place, not only to pay for our sins that we might be forgiven, but to enter into our lives, giving us a new life, a new identity and a new hope for which to live right now. Because of Jesus work on our behalf, those who have turned their lives over to Christ have been fully accepted by God, totally forgiven and deeply loved by God.

At the end of chapter 8, Paul declared the incomprehensible love of God toward those who have trusted Jesus Christ as one's Lord and savior. Then, at the end of chapter 11, after giving us a snap shot of God's plan for the ages in which every believer plays a part, Paul extols the greatness of our God. Paul states in 11:33, "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen."

With the beginning of chapter 12, we start a major division in the book of Romans. We went from the theological to the practical. We went from the "what" of what God has done for us, to the "so what", or what is to be our response to God because of Who He is and what He has done for us. In other words, because of God's work on our behalf, how then are we to now live our lives for Him?

In verse 1, Paul answers that question by calling us to submit to God our bodies as a living sacrifice to Him. And the reason that he starts with our bodies is that it is through our bodies that all sin and temptation to sin comes. Either through our lusts for physical passions, such as over eating, drunkenness, immorality, or the lust of the eyes, what we see leading to greed, envy and jealousy, or the pride of life, this desire that comes through our physical brains to possess positions of power and authority over others, all of these things come through our bodies. If we are going to live for God, then we are to give him our bodies as his forgiven righteous instruments through which He can live and work His holy life.

Then in verse 2, Paul reminds us that the key to knowing how to continually submit our bodies as a living sacrifice to God is to have our minds transformed through the continual exposure to the truth learned from God's word.

Then, beginning with verses 4-8, Paul moves from the individual Christian to the group or the body of believers known as the church and says, "You are to live as a family that cares for each other and works together using your spiritual gifts ultimately to bring glory to God." And from here on out in Romans, Paul stresses that for us to be servant-worshippers of Jesus Christ, we are to pay close attention to our relationships with each other as believers. We are to take seriously our relationships with each other because it is only as people see us working and living together in peace for God's purpose of calling the world to worship Him, that they will believe our message. If we are constantly fighting or ignoring each other's needs or refusing to forgive others when we have been wronged or misunderstood, we nullify the message of Christ.

I have learned personally, that as human beings, too many times to count, it is those whom we love or whom we are suppose to love, that we hurt the most. We ignore, we strike out at each other, we refuse to seek forgiveness, we carry grudges and in the end we destroy our families if we don't stop. In our self-centered fleshly attitudes, we would rather withhold expressions of love than take positive action on behalf of other believers.

Paul will be telling us in these next chapters, that if you have truly experienced the new birth or are born again, if you truly understand what he has written about in the previous chapters, then you must take seriously how you practice loving one another. You, as a follower of Jesus Christ, are a new creation. The old you is dead. You are now a child of God, no longer a child of the devil. Hence, start living like it. As we serve together in close quarters, there will be many times for misunderstandings and not seeing things the same way. Don't allow those times to break up your worshipful service as one of Jesus' Christ's local fellowship in Grants Pass.

This morning, we want to look at Paul's directives to loving all believers. By omitting those outside born again believers, Paul is not saying that we are not to love them. He is merely focusing on our relationships with one another in the family of God.

In verses 9-13, we are going to see what is expected in loving the loveable Christian. Then next week, we will look at what is required of loving the un-loveable Christian or that Christian with whom you may be at odds, in verses 14-21.

As we look at the following five aspects of "love exemplified" keep in mind that the basis from which we operate in loving others is that God first being committed to each of us, loved us first. It was his love, as revealed by His mercies in verse 1 that demands that with our new identity of being His children that we are to take his resources and personality to love others.

With that in mind, let's look at what Paul says is the first aspect of "love being exemplified, or loves discriminating foundation in verse 9. Paul writes, "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good."

First off, Paul tells us that true love is sincere, genuine, without hypocrisy. The term for "hypocrisy" in the original literally refers to ancient actors hiding behind a mask playing a role. Paul's point is that we are to get off the stage and quit acting behind hidden agendas, using other people. We are to drop our masks and genuinely care for others' best interests, regardless of the cost to us.

Furthermore, we are to "abhor evil, and cling to what is good." If we are to correctly love others, we must be committed to theirs and our living righteously or obediently before God. We are to abhor or more correctly be repulsed by wickedness or sin, but cling to what is good, that is, the born again believer. It's the old, hate the sin, but love the saint who has sinned, principle. If we as a body of believers are going to be healthy and used of God, we cannot turn our backs upon evil practices that happen amongst us as if nothing ever happened. We must deal with sin amongst us, but be careful not to hate the person for whom Christ died and called to Himself.

At first, it may seem strange that in one verse the command to love is so quickly followed by the command to hate or abhor something. But we shouldn't be surprised by that. For, as John Stott put it, "love is not the blind sentiment it is traditionally said to be. On the contrary, love is discerning." [Stott, p. 331] Real love does not love everything. Real love discriminates. It hates what is evil and clings to what is good.

We have all heard 1 John 4:8 quoted: "God is love." But that is not all God is. In Proverbs 6:16-19, we discover that God also hates. In that proverb, God is said to hate seven things: "haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."

Listen to what God says in Isaiah 1:12-15 about His hatred. God says, "When you come to appear before Me, Who requires of you this trampling of My courts? Bring your worthless offerings no longer, Incense is an abomination to Me. New moon and sabbath, the calling of assemblies--I cannot endure iniquity and the solemn assembly. I hate your new moon festivals and your appointed feasts, They have become a burden to Me. I am weary of bearing them. So when you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide My eyes from you, Yes, even though you multiply prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are covered with blood."

In Amos 5:21, God says, "I hate, I reject your festivals, Nor do I delight in your solemn assemblies." God hates phony, hypocritical religious actions that are for show and don't come from the heart.

What's the point? If God, who is loving and discriminating in what He loves, then we are to be discriminating in what we love. Love hates what God in his word describes as evil. Therefore, our concern for one another should not be based upon our friendship or how well we enjoy one another. Our love and actions toward one another come from being permanently related to one another in Christ and called to living as holy ones set apart by God for His purpose. Hence, we are commanded to hold each other accountable to lifestyles that are in accord with the written word of God. Love that person, but hate their sin. Cling to that person, but reject that person's evil attitudes and actions. The foundation of our love for each other is to be founded on genuineness and it is to be discriminating.

The second aspect of love in action, is seen in verse 10, that our love is demonstrated when we exercise sustaining support for one another. Paul writes, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;"

In writing this verse, Paul uses two different terms for love. The word translated "devoted" refers to the love that is expressed between a loving parent and his or her own child. In other words, be devoted to one another like a parent is to his or her child. 

The second term for love used here is "brotherly love" from which we get our word "philadelphia". This is the family love of one sibling toward another. When you put both of these terms together, the impact of Paul's intent is strengthened. He is describing a church family as a group of people who are a close-knit, supportive and deeply committed to one another. When he says, "be devoted to one another in brotherly love" he means something much more than being good friends.

In the latter half of the verse, he gets specific as to how this love is to be exercised. He says, "give preference to one another in honor." Members of a healthy loving family practice deferring to one another. They have such a strong mutual respect for each other that they take pleasure in elevating the successes of other family members. The opposite of this kind of attitude is competition against one another in the family. We all know what competition does to a family when one member wants to be or another refuses to take a back seat so another can be honored. Usually, when that attitude is strong within a family, the family eventually self-destructs.

In the original, it is difficult to translate exactly into English Paul's intent of this verse. One way that this verse can be rendered is, "esteem others more highly than yourself". The other way these words can be rendered implies an element of positive competition. Hence, these words could be translated, "outdo one another in showing honor." Either way, the point is that to give preference to one another means "to give to each other the highest possible honor and respect."

We see this kind of supportive love exemplified in Scripture in several places. We see John the Baptist loving Jesus this way, when John said to his own disciples, "I must decrease, He must increase." In essence, John was saying, "I'm only the best man at this wedding, not the groom. Therefore, don't look to me, look to Him."

This kind of love practices exalting the Christ that lives in the other person. Barnabas did this with the Apostle Paul. Barnabas was Paul's mentor, yet Barnabas, after recognizing Paul's giftedness, gave way to Paul. Even though Barnabas had been a Christian longer and had more experience, he let Paul take the lead. That's what we are to do in the body of Christ, put others that God has His hand on before us.

Ray Stedman was a man whose life modeled the motto "There is no limit to the good that a man can do if he doesn't care who gets the credit." Ray spent his whole life building into young men, then shoving them out front into ministry. As a result of not caring who got the credit, he enjoyed himself in all that he did, serving the Lord. But even he once said, that "Our flesh doesn't like that; it is very eager to be acknowledged and promoted." [FROM GUILT TO GLORY, p.109] All of us, even Ray struggled with this thing called the flesh that drives us to seek the accolades of others. When our pride raises its ugly head, we are to remember Paul's words, "give preference to one another in honor."

Love cares less who gets the credit. Love sustains support of others in the body.

The third characteristic of active Christian love amongst the body is found in verse 11. It is loves “energizing” effort. It's that kind of love that keeps on going and going and going. Paul writes, "not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;"

Often times we get into the trenches of ministry with another Christian, working together and discover it is not as romantic as it first sounded and we think about quitting a project and going home. Other times, we are only willing to demonstrate the love of God to others when it is convenient with our schedule.

But true love never quits, regardless of how hard times get. It does not shrink back from toil, sweat or pain. When hard times come, loves "energizing effort" does not lag behind. 

What "lagging behind" means could be pictured by a sailboat with its sail full straining to sail in one direction, but is hindered because someone, due to an attitude problem, has thrown an anchor overboard and it is "lagging behind" the boat, holding it back. 

True love does not hold back because of laziness. True love in the body is exemplified when all the members of that body are using their spiritual gifts. True love amongst a body is demonstrated by a "fervent spirit." That term "fervent" means something that is at a constant boil---in this case our active love. It is exercised because we are focused on the Lord, not the circumstances. This kind of love is committed to serving Him regardless how dark or hard the times get. It will do whatever it takes to get His job done.

But don't misunderstand. This kind of love, this kind of energizing effort does not depend upon our human resources or circumstances. It always rejoices in hope, as we will see in a moment, because, like David and Goliath, the work of God doesn't depend upon human strength, but the Lord's strength. This is not our work, but His work. It does not depend upon our cleverness or strength, but it does depend upon us depending upon Him. 

Let's say that something horrible happened to our AWANA program and the government said that churches could no longer hold midweek youth gatherings. That would be very disheartening and discouraging and we might feel like giving up. But if God allowed that door to close, this is His work, not ours. Why should we get all stressed out by what a human, temporal government chooses to do? If our eternal sovereign God wants us to minister to kids in the mid-week, He will open another door to do so. The success of any ministry doesn't depend upon you or me, but on Him.

Hence, if you want to keep your enthusiasm and zeal for ministry alive and fervent or boiling, keep your eye on Jesus and remember who you are serving, the Lord Jesus, not a program or institution. He will get accomplished through you what He wants accomplished. And as we submit our lives to Him, we will experience and demonstrate his loving "energizing" effort.

The fourth characteristic of active love is that it is filled with unfailing hope. Verse 12 reads, "rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer." Hope is the key to this verse. There is so much in life and in ministry that can dash one's hopes and render one defeated. There are struggles, hassles or as Paul calls them here, "tribulations" that can cause us to lose our joy if we lose our focus.

So often people let us down, they disappoint us. But when they do, active love, based on an unfailing hope, keeps us going. We have a cause to rejoice regardless. We have a certain unfailing hope. We are serving the eternal God and His plan and we know how it all turns out in the end. We win! One day we will be with Jesus and be like Jesus and all our hassles with the flesh will cease and our broken relationships with other believers will be healed and restored. And knowing that, we have a great cause to rejoice, no matter how dark our present circumstances may be, or the broken relationships that we are trying to restore or setbacks we face in ministry.

And the secret behind maintaining this unfailing hope is stated at the end of the verse, "devoted to prayer." Sometimes we get tired of praying, our minds wander. It's not that we never pray or that we don't pray. But true love that is lived out has an unfailing hope that is stirred up by "devoted" or "continued" prayer. We can't change our circumstances or the difficult people with whom we work, but we can pray.

Jesus understood our difficulty in continuing to pray that is why he has left us so many reminders throughout the gospels to hang in there and keep on praying. Just look at Luke 11, notice what Jesus is doing in the first thirteen verses of this chapter. In verses 1-4, the disciples want to learn how to pray, so he teaches them. 

Then, in verse 5-8, he tells them this story about a man who is in need and goes to a friend's house in the middle of the night and says, "lend me some food." At first, his friend says, "Man, its midnight! Get out of here. Can't you see I'm trying to sleep!?" But the man keeps banging on the door, devoted or committed to getting what he came for. After awhile, his friend gets up, and gives him what he wants just to get rid of him. 

Then in verses 9-10, Jesus says, "Look, if you think you have something God wants you to have or to do, then keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking, and at the right time, you will get it.” Part of the continued praying forces us to remember who is serving whom. 

Then in verses 11-13, just in case we wonder, "What kind of gift is God going to give me?" Jesus reassures us that God is not an evil God. Just like an earthly father who loved his kid, wouldn't give his hungry kid a poisonous snake or scorpion when the kid asked for food, neither would God give anything but the best to his kid, in order to keep him healthy.

Hence, the key to a love moved by an unfailing hope is a love committed to continued, devoted prayer, based on the certain hope of what God declares in the scriptures will happen. When you know the hope, you have a cause to rejoice and a focus on what to pray for.

Finally, in verse 13, Paul tells us that there is one more characteristic of active love. He says, true love between believers is demonstrated through a helping hand. Paul states, "contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality."

In the original language, the intent of the verse is a little clearer. Paul is not stipulating two different actions here, contributing to the saints and practicing hospitality, but is combining the two ideas. It could be better rendered, "In regard to the needs of the saints, participating, practicing hospitality."

In other words, if another believer is in need, not just monetarily, but maybe emotionally, participate in that need. Maybe someone has just lost a loved one and is hurting. If God brings that person across your path, don't ignore their hurt comfort them with a word from God's book or friendly gesture. Take them a meal, stop and listen to them or pray with them. If someone in the fellowship has fallen on hard times, help them find food. Direct them to Joseph's storehouse.

The second way to help the needed brother is to practice hospitality. The term "hospitality" literally comes from the word, "lover of strangers". Certain people may be Christians and in this same fellowship, but they may be strangers to you. Reach out to them. Invite them over after church for lunch, or better yet, go to lunch with them if you can, so that nobody has to do dishes. Spend some time getting to know each other.

Friends, it is essential to open our homes to one another if we are going to love one another. Practice setting an extra table setting at your house for someone who might come by unexpectedly. Look for someone to have over for a meal. 

The term "practice" literally is a command to pursue after someone. We are not just to receive a stranger into our homes, but we are to search them out and bring them into our homes. 

Once in a while, there is a man, who dresses rather shabbily, who lives right across the street in a room behind the "M" street market, who has shown up here at church. His name is John. You have probably seen John walking all over this town. John, I understand, was a bright and promising student during the 60's until he took some mind altering drugs and messed up his brain. He is very smart. If you ever want to know what certain benefits you can derive from vitamins, just ask John. Yet, because of the drugs, John has a very short attention span, but is a gentle kind man. 

I wonder how many of you have ever sat down to a meal with him or have invited him home after church when he has come? When it has started to rain, and he's walking home, I wonder how many of us have picked John up and given him a ride home. I wonder how often he has received a new tee shirt or sweater?

God tells us to pursue hospitality. Love gives a helping hand to strangers.

Now, I realize that there may be some precautionary measures taken when it comes to strangers. But how many of us are so fearful or bound by those precautionary measures that we never reach out to strangers or make it an excuse not to love as God, right here demands that we love?

In preparing for this message, I came across another brother's challenge to believers to practice hospitality. It caused me to stop, to consider and to plan to use my life and home better than I am. He wrote, "I think the American church has stifled evangelism by making it too complicated with various programs. If the 300 families in [this church] opened their home one night a week to a stranger, after fifty weeks we would have had 15,000 aliens in our homes. At no expense to the church and with no involvement of a program, we could easily reach out to our community." [Morgan, p.2 #702] Boy, what a great idea! You need no board approval or anybody's approval to practice hospitality like that. And what an impact it could have on your whole family. One caution, though. I know that some of you have spouses that are not believers. If that is your situation, make sure you have your spouse’s blessing before you start bringing a lot of stranger to your home.

Let's review for a moment. We have been looking at just a view verses that deal with Christian loving "easy to love" Christians. Next week, we will look at Christians loving those unlovable Christians and those people who don't know the Lord.

But as far as it concerns each of us, Paul says that true love that is which is exemplified in the body when it carries out the following 5 expressions. They are: a love that has a discriminating foundation. It is a love that is genuine and does not allow ongoing sin to take place in another's life. It hates evil, but is doggedly committed to the brother or sister in Christ, regardless of that evil. It may temporarily refuse to fellowship with the person who refuses to repent of that evil, but does not reject that person. If the person confesses and turns away from practicing evil, then that person is welcomed back into the fellowship, but the person himself is never rejected.  Love is not a mere warm fuzzy sentimentality. It is discriminating.

Is there a friend that you know that you are holding close as a brother or sister in Christ, knowing full well that that person is deliberately practicing that which God clearly forbids? If so, ask God what He would lovingly have you to do.

Secondly we saw that active love is a love that practices sustaining support to those in the family of God. Are you jealous of another believer? Do you speak ill of them behind their back? Or, do you continue to defend their honor? When another brother gets the credit for your hard work in the ministry, do you complain or leave it with the Lord? Do you love other Christians with the supportive love that is found in an healthy family?

Third, we saw that active love has energizing effort. Do you lag in your zeal to finish out your commitments in ministry? Do you only serve the Lord and others when it is convenient to you? Do you quit when some ministry doesn't go as you had planned or do you hang in there serving the Lord and seeking to serve his plans which may not be the same as yours.

Fourth, active love operates from a basis of unfailing hope. When other's disappoint you, or tough times come, do you live in despair? Or, because of the certain, unfailing eternal hope that resides within you, do you rejoice and hang in there, even in tough times, praying to see God's ends met?

Finally, active love operates from a commitment to pursue others with a helping hand. Are you doing more than merely coming to church and going home or being involved in a Bible study or helping with another ministry? Are you pursuing those who may be strangers to you to reach into their lives to meet emotional needs of friendship or even more obvious fiscal needs?

Here is what I would like you to think about and commit to as a result of looking at God's word this morning. I want you to look at the commands that are laid out for you in verses 9-13. Choose just two that are most difficult for you. Ask God to help you better understand why those two commands to love other believers in this way are difficult for you. Then ask God to work through your life to love other believers this week as those two commands direct you to love. Offer up your life as a living sacrifice to God, as verse 1 directs all of us, and love God by obeying Him in being willing to love other believers in just these two ways.

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