TABOO OR TO DO?
or
WORKING THROUGH THE SOCIAL GRAY AREAS - I

Rom. 14:1-3
Bob Bonner
May 12, 1996

Dr. Stuart Briscoe has been the pastor of the world renowned Elmbrook Church of Waukesha, Wisconsin since 1970. He is a favorite speaker at men and women's conferences around the world. He has authored several books and has a radio program that his heard throughout this country and Canada. God has used him not only as a pastor-teacher to a growing church but, also as an effective evangelist for Jesus Christ. He loves the Lord with all of his heart.

Several years ago, Stuart was invited to come to Europe on a speaking tour that involved evangelism as well as some teaching seminars. On this three week tour, he spoke in several different countries. The first country he visited was Germany. After preaching in a large German church, he was invited by one of the elders of that church to come home for lunch. As he sat down for the meal in this German host's home, he noticed that his hostess was about to pour some yellow liquid into his glass and he quickly, seeing that it was beer, said, "Oh no. Not me." His hostess, startled, asked, "What's the matter? Don't you drink beer?" 

Stuart disapprovedly answered, "No!"

To which his hostess asked, "How come?"

Stuart quickly replied, "First, I don't like beer. Secondly, I am a Christian!"

Suddenly, Briscoe realized what he had just said, and the color drained from his face. He thought to himself, "If I have never drank beer, how can I say that I don't like it? Stuart goes on to explain, "The hostess didn't pick up on what I was thinking; but more importantly, I had just said to the hostess, `I am a Christian.' What had I said to my hostess who was now pouring it into her glass and into her husband's glass? Do you know what the host did as he sat down? He grasped his wife's hand and mine with the other and prayed, `Dear Father, Heilga and I thank you that we are German Christians.'"

The next Sunday found Stuart Briscoe in Sweden. A man came up to him following the service and said, "I can't stop smoking. I know it is damaging to my body, but I am addicted and therefore, I can't come to faith in Christ, because this church I attend tells me that I've got to quit smoking to become a Christian." Stuart later said that he had returned to that church on many occasion in the years that followed and he would see the same man there. He was still smoking, but he still had not committed his life to Christ because he had been told that he can't receive Christ or join the church unless he gave up smoking.

After having preached in the church in Sweden, the third Sunday Stuart preached in a church in Denmark. When the services were over, they pulled the curtain back that separated the sanctuary from the fellowship hall. There in the fellowship hall were tables filled with food. At the end of the table were the desserts...beautiful pastries. Do you know what was placed right next to the pastry section of the dessert table? Cigars which were passed out by an attendant to every man in line!

After seeing that, Briscoe said, "If only my Swedish friend had been born in Denmark!"

After telling his story to his own church, and as he approached teaching Romans 14, Briscoe made this introductory remark. He said, "Now, I realize that I am in some incredible amount of trouble with some of you. And probably with all of you on one side or the other. But do you get the point?" He paused, and then he read two verses from Romans 14. He read Romans 14:5-6 which say "One man regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Let each man be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God."

As we will see in our study of Romans 14-15, Stuart Briscoe learned firsthand in Europe that it is not so important as to what you do or don't do in these social or cultural gray areas where the scriptures do not clearly speak of something being right or wrong; but what is important is that you, the individual seek the Lord and let each of you be convinced in your own mind as to what God wants each of you to do. 

In other words, our focus is not to be on our neighbor's choices of lifestyle in these gray areas, but our focus is to be on what our Lord Jesus Christ has called us to do or to refrain from doing. Because, as we will see in this chapter of Romans, Jesus may say "No" to me doing something that He has said "Yes, you can do." If I watch you and copy what they Lord says is okay for you to do rather than listen to what the Lord tells me is His will for me, I could be living disobediently.

Although we Christians worship together as a group, the Christian life is not a group relationship with God. It is not a religion. It is an individual relationship with God---one that requires each of us to follow what God is saying to us. It is an intimate personal relationship founded upon His word.

Ladies and gentlemen, this morning and for the next several weeks we are going to be looking at a very controversial and emotionally arousing section of scripture. I am calling this series, "TABOO OR TO DO?", or "WORKING THROUGH THOSE SOCIAL GRAY AREAS". And by gray areas, I mean those areas that traditionally have been socially controversial activities to Christians to which the scriptures do not clearly forbid or endorse as something our Lord wants us to partake in.

As is always our goal during these next three weeks, we will be to study God's word and attempt to understand what it says, not what traditionally people have thought the scripture has said, but in fact it has not said. When we are finished with this study, you will see that the Christian lifestyle is a lot more open to certain "questionable" activities than previously you may have thought or been taught. Furthermore, we will learn how God wants us to live and work with those with whom we may not share some of the same convictions in these controversial gray areas.

People have strong feelings and valid convictions about things such as what music they can listen to, cosmetics, clothing styles, whether or not it is right to wear pierced earrings in various places of your body, choices of cars, expressions of worship, whether or not to attend movies, convictions concerning whether or not to raise kids in Christian schools, public schools or home schools. They have convictions about certain holidays and holiday traditions and scores of other practices. But we don't all share the same convictions in these areas in which the scriptures give little or no clear direction. 

How, then, do we live with each other when our convictions differ concerning some emotionally highly controversial practices where both sides have scriptures to support their position but the scriptures don't black and white prove that either conviction is the only correct position to hold? How are we to respond to one another, work with one another and worship with one another when we each share different convictions about these non-biblical issues? Those will be the questions that we will see addressed in these next two chapters of Romans.

The following outline will show you where we are headed today and in the weeks ahead.

I.  The Key Principle stated 14:1

II.  The Key Principle explained 14:1-15:4

III. The Key Principle's purpose 15:5-7

As a whole, I have never found you as a fellowship to become upset with any presentation of the word. There will always be times where not all of us agree with the teacher up front, and that's okay. Historically, in those places where I expected some heated debate, there has been very little. But knowing the highly emotionally charged nature of this subject matter, I am concerned that the wicked one could sneak in here and unnecessarily disturb our unity. One part of me would love to avoid this subject all together. But I can't. To do so would not be intellectually honest. Furthermore, the Lord put this truth, as hard as it may be for some to swallow, right here in this text so that we would grow up in the Lord and quit living like spiritual babies. This subject is in the text and we must deal with it.

I predict that before we finish this morning, if there hasn't already been some hackles raised, there may be. So here is what I would like you to consider. Feel free to disagree with what you hear; but before you come up after this service or approach me after any of the messages on this brief series, and want to debate the issues, or ask the questions "But what if...", would you please consider waiting till you hear all of what Paul is writing here. Think through what Paul as said throughout this section and then let's talk. I am convinced that by the time we do finish this section most of your questions, if not all, will be answered. If not, then when this series is complete, then let's reason with one another.

Paul was writing this section of scripture because he knew that the church at Rome, as in every church, there tended to be people who thought of themselves as more spiritual while others were downright carnal simply because of certain social activities that they practiced. In the early church, as in the church today, there were people who felt that there were certain practices or activities that were out of bounds to all believers. But in many cases, people's limitations on what they can do and cannot do were never God's limitations. Instead, they were pharisaically or merely human laws that people believed to be God's laws. Paul's purpose in these verses is to liberate the believers from their false, divisive and destructive notions and laws as to what it truly means to be spiritually mature. And then to show them what it does mean to be truly free in Christ.

Romans 14 begins with a principle of what to do when we have differences of opinion about matters upon which the scriptures do not clearly speak. Paul writes in verse 1, "Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions" or as the NIV translates this, "without passing judgment on disputable matters."

Paul is clearly telling us that there are going to be matters of Christian lifestyle or Christian conscience upon which we don't all agree. Not everything in the Christian life as it concerns our conduct or social activities are black and white, right or wrong. 

On those things upon which scripture is undeniably clear, we are to agree. Drunkenness is always wrong. Adultery is always wrong. Cheating on your income tax is always wrong. On these clearly defined matters, Christians are to hold each other accountable. We are to exhort, rebuke and reprove one another. And if necessary, to enact church discipline and separate ourselves from those who refuse to follow what they know to be right. In these cases, this is not judging one another; for the word of God has already clearly judged or pronounced these practices wrong. There is no debating those issues.

But there are other areas in which the scriptures are virtually silent. In these areas, God wants to leave it up to the individual believer to decide how they will handle such issues as to how they educate their children, should they own a TV or what kind of movies they choose to watch, should they dance or drink alcoholic beverages, should they celebrate Christmas, Easter or Halloween. As we will see later, God expects that the individual will make his or her decision based on a deep personal conviction that flows from their personal love for Jesus and wanting to glorify him, rather than to please others. 

On these subjects, which might include such things as how long may the length of one's hair be, or the length of the cut of a dress be, scripture does not give us specific clear cut directions. Yet, historically, churches have fought over these issues and made even some of you in this room feel unwelcome in those churches. That is tragic. It is just that kind of thing that causes those who know very little about Jesus Christ to say, "Man, those Christians are bunch of narrow minded idiots!" On those things, Paul clearly teaches in these chapters that we can have different convictions; furthermore God, in this passage, demands that we accept those whose convictions are different than ours.

Notice, that in this verse, Paul begins with exhorting us to accept the "weak in the faith." Be careful how you read that from your Bibles. I do not agree with the NIV translation. This verse has nothing to do with a person being weak in their ability to believe. It is not talking about a person whose faith is weak. Instead, the original language clearly puts the article "the" before the word "faith" pointing to the fact that the weak person is weak because that Christian does not have enough understanding in "the faith." In other words, it is not an ability-to-believe issue as it is one's lack of knowledge about the truth. The "weak in the truth" person simply does not fully understand truth.

Dr. Kent Hughes, Pastor of Wheaton Bible Church, identifies the "weak in faith" as those who "tend to be censorious, to pigeon-hole other believers according to their checklists. "That man cannot be a good Christian because he      !"

Then Kent goes on to give a list of the typical taboos that the weak in their faith raise up in a church. He says, "Moreover, none of these items are listed as taboo or sinful (although the Scriptures give guidelines in relation to each item). These issues are:

1.) Theater...2.) Cosmetics...3.) Alcohol...4.) Tobacco...5.) Card playing...6.) Dancing...7.) Fashion...8.) Bible Translation...9.) Sports...10.) Music...11.) Material wealth." [ROMANS, P.261-262]

So often we find believers overly concerned about non-essentials. They major in the minor issues of life, which leads to divisiveness in the body. It is Paul's major theme throughout this chapter and half of the next, for us to learn how to accept one another and work in unity, even though in these areas we may share differing convictions.

In talking about those who are "weak in their faith" or basically, the biblically uneducated forcing their rigid lifestyle on others, Paul does not leave the stronger believer, those who know the truth about their freedoms in Christ, off the hook without giving the stronger believer some instructions concerning the use of his or her freedoms. We will see in the weeks ahead that although the stronger believer may have freedoms in Christ, that doesn't mean that the stronger believer can do whatever he pleases whenever he pleases. Paul will show us later, that the stronger believer will at times be required by love to limit his freedoms. 

Furthermore we will see that just because the stronger believer better understands the truth, does not mean that the stronger believers are automatically more mature than all of the weaker believers. 

Allow me to illustrate this with a diagram of a "TEETER TOTTER". Like this "teeter totter", the idea of the Christian life is that we live in balance. However, when we succumb to the level of legalism, which is what happens when we start making up our own rules and standards, beyond what the scriptures clearly teach, we are out of balance. 

Legalist push their rules because somehow, they think by living up to their man made standards, they will maintain greater approval before God; which is not true. Our approval before God never depends upon our performance, does it? What does our approval before God depend upon? Christ's performance. 

Hence, legalism is pushed by the weaker believer due to his or her lack of understanding of what the scripture allows concerning our freedoms in Christ. When legalists demand that others follow their rigidity, they can destroy the mission of the church as well as the joy of the Lord.

But just as damaging to the individual and the church is the other extreme, and that of the stronger believer, who knows what his freedoms are, but he or she pushes those freedoms to the extreme, ignoring some of the principles in this chapter. The extreme is license. Here, the mistake of the stronger believer is that he feels he can do whatever he likes whenever he likes when it comes to these social gray areas. As you will see in our study, that is not true.

In both of those cases, neither Christian is experiencing true liberty in Christ and neither Christian is demonstrating maturity. 

True liberty and maturity in Christ looks like this. Here, the stronger believer realizes that he doesn't always practice his freedoms, but sometimes he will choose to limit his freedom according to the fulcrum of love. Likewise, the weaker brother, who may not fully understand how it is that this other Christian can partake in some of these social gray areas, makes a decision not to demand that everybody be like them and follow his or her man made conditions.

True liberty and maturity is practicing your freedoms by balancing them upon what is most lovingly appropriate for those around you. And even then, even when you are lovingly practicing your maturity, don't be surprised if other weaker Christians still don't agree with your practice and criticize you.

Bottom line: Do you see that knowledge is not king? Spiritual maturity is determined by what you do with the knowledge you have; specifically, how you treat others who don't yet share your understanding or convictions. 

In verse 1, Paul is saying that the stronger believer is to welcome or accept the weaker believer into fellowship, just as God has welcomed us into his family. God welcomed us into His family because he loved us. This term “accept" implies warmth, kindness and genuine love.

Likewise, we are to accept the weaker brother out of love. We are not to shun them has hopeless, never will learn Christians. Neither are we to accept them under false pretenses. We are not, let's say, to invite them over to our home for coffee to straighten them in their ignorance. That will come in time. We are first to make sure they know that we love them.

Also, the weaker brother is not to accept the stronger or invite him over to his house so as to spring his hidden agenda on the stronger brother, which may be to straighten him out, or to pass judgment on his practices or convictions. 

Too often what has happened in churches when the leadership didn't agree with either the stronger or the weaker brother, the leadership dis-fellowshipped or put distance between themselves and those with whom they didn't agree. They either labeled those who didn't agree with their freedoms legalists or self-righteous Christians; or the labeled those who choose to exercise their freedoms as carnal, loose living, and worldly Christians. Either way, both parties were wrong to turn their backs on the other and walk away.

God is saying to us, "No, you love them and accept them unconditionally, just as I have you. Let Me and them deal with their convictions. Whether you think you are the stronger or the weaker believer, you leave them to me. You get busy loving them and serving together with them to reach out to others who don't know me."

And, as you will see later, Paul will tell us that if God wants them to change their convictions about these things, leave that to God and that believer. He will do a better job of changing another person's convictions than you or I ever will.

Therefore, Paul is telling us that God loves and accepts all of us as we are, with all of our differing convictions. Furthermore, God expects us to live in unity with one another, despite our differences of opinions or convictions about what is right or wrong.

Hence, the overall principle that Paul is attempting to drive home in this verse and he repeats through this entire section of scripture ending in 15:7, is this: As it concerns those area of life, in which the scriptures do not clearly speak, accept one another for the purpose of maintaining unity. 

In the rest of this chapter through 15:4, Paul explains in depth what it means to accept one another when we have differing convictions to these social gray areas. We won't cover all of this section this week, but we will go as far as time allows us.

In verse 2-12, Paul's major point as it regards accepting one another, is that to accept someone means that you can't despise them because they don't agree with your convictions. His first illustration of a typical disagreement between a weaker and stronger brother where they would tend to despise the other person for their differing conviction is seen in verse 2-3. 

Before we read these verses, allow me to explain to you the historical/cultural problem that was behind these two verses. The issue is over abstaining from eating any meat that might have been offered to pagan idols. Apparently, many of the new believers use to live off of meat that had been sacrificed at pagan idol worshipping services. Hence, these weaker brothers felt that it was wrong to eat any meat because you might be eating some of that meat that had been sacrificed to an idol. And if you even accidentally did eat meat offered to an idol, God might get mad at you, because He may think you are joining in with the worship of that idol. So, the weaker, uneducated believers made their own law, out of wanting to honor God, that they could not eat any meat and hence, became vegetarians.

Now that may sound ridiculous to us, but these believers were very sincere about their practice or non-practice of eating this meat. To them, it was no less important than whether it was okay to use tobacco, listening to Christian rock music or drinking alcohol. This was serious business to them that they thought could have had some serious spiritual consequences.

Let's look at what Paul says. He states, "One man has faith that he may eat all things, [in other words, it is okay to eat any meat whether it was sacrificed to an idol or not, because ultimately all meat belongs to God] but he who is weak [and doesn't understand that all meat belongs to God anyway, hence go ahead and eat it, because God won't care] eats vegetables only." 

At this point, Paul gives instruction to both the stronger and weaker believer. He begins with the more knowledgeable stronger believer, "Let not him who eats regard with contempt him who does not eat,..."

This expression "regard with contempt" is a strong term that carries the idea of looking on someone as totally worthless. It connotes more than a mere dislike for someone. It refers to utter disdain and abhorrence. 

Paul is saying that for the stronger or more knowledgeable Christian to despise as a mental and spiritual midget the Christian who has a narrower morality is wrong and obviously not loving. For the more knowledgeable Christian to look down his nose at the weaker or less informed believer who is more morally narrow, and to sneer at him, calling him, "You legalistic self-righteous prig...when are you going to get out of your cage and enjoy your freedom in Christ" is wrong.

But just as wrong is the reaction of the weaker, less knowledgeable believer toward the stronger believer who exercises his freedom. Paul refers to that in the rest of verse 3. He says to the weaker believer, "...and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats, for God has accepted him." 

In this case, the term "judge" means to separate from or to isolate oneself from someone. In a legal sense, it referred to finding an accused person guilty of a crime and removing him from your midst. 

Here, the weaker brother looks down his nose at the stronger brother who may feel the freedom to go to movies, eat meat, drink alcohol or dance or listen to popular Christian music, and the weaker brother, in disdain for the stronger says something like, "I can't believe you call yourself a Christian and you do those things! Don't you know that that is the devil's music or devils drink?" Or, "Get out of my church or Christian organization or Christian school you irresponsible, licentious carnal Christian. You can't really be serious about living for Jesus and do those things!"

Friends, neither the church, nor a Christian school nor any Christian organization has the authority to impose spiritual behavioral standards or codes on others that are not clearly spelled out in scripture. These issues have no business being put into church or Christian organization or Christian school's doctrinal statements or covenants. When you require people to follow laws that God himself has not clearly demanded we follow, you will kill the spirit of that fellowship, school or other Christian organization.

What has happened so often in churches across this country is that those who are weak in the faith, those who don't fully understand their freedom in Christ, they are the majority or ruling party in many Christian schools, organizations or churches. Although they are very sincere and mean well, these weaker believers tend to impose artificial spiritual standards for all the Christians who attend that church, school or other Christian organization, with the implication that you really can't be a Christian unless you conform to these standards.

Case in point. Nine years ago, there was a fellowship of believers who use to worship on this very property where Calvary Crossroads now meets. The church was called Calvary Baptist Church. Because of some major infighting and an inability to get along, that church lost its focus, quit having an impact upon this community and God forced it to close its doors.

Shortly thereafter, Harry Olsen, came here, started a new church under a new name and gave it a new beginning. He began to teach the truth, having removed the weaker, less knowledgeable and less mature leadership. And truly, it has been a new beginning. Some of you were even part of that fellowship. In time, new leadership, more educated or stronger and mature leaders were developed.

I have in my hand a document that was glued to the inside of every hymnal in that old church. It is entitled, "Calvary Baptist Church Covenant". I understand from some who were part of that church, that once a month, the fellowship would read in unison this covenant out loud. 

One of the first things that Harry did when he came here was to remove these green sheets, because of one statement in this covenant. I am going to read to you just one paragraph from this covenant. To be honest with you, this is a very good covenant or agreement, in that except for this one statement, it is Biblically sound and it is something that we would all agree is something we should aspire to. 

The paragraph reads: "We also engage to maintain family and secret devotions; to train our children in the nurture and admonition of the lord; to seek the salvation of our kindred and acquaintances, to walk circumspectly in the world, to be just in our dealings, faithful in our engagements, and exemplary in our deportment..." So far, that's pretty good isn't it? Other than being written in some words that some of you may not understand, I have no problem with this at all. The covenant continues, "...to avoid all tattling, backbiting, and excessive anger;" and here's the statement that got Harry's attention. "To abstain from the sale and use of intoxicating drink as a beverage..."

Now, understand. I don't believe Harry Olsen has ever tasted a drop of alcohol in his entire life. Not that he couldn't and still be a spiritual leader, but I know Harry's personal convictions in this area. Nor, would he have ever deliberately encouraged others to drink. However, as some men who were in one of our early men's Bible study groups will attest to, Harry believed that he had the freedom to drink alcoholic beverages. He knew that to drink alcoholic beverages would make him no less spiritual or more spiritual if he exercised his freedom to drink. But for Harry, he simply felt that God did not want him to drink any alcohol, so he chose never to exercise his freedom to drink. That was his choice. Furthermore, he never forced his conviction on anyone else or demanded that they follow his lead, or leave the church or be considered unworthy of leadership if they didn't agree with him.

In addition, Harry was wise enough to know, that there are many very godly men and women who do choose to exercise their freedom to drink alcohol and do so in a responsible way, without violating the scriptural teaching of getting drunk or causing others to do so. As we will see next week, Harry knew that many believers can give thanks or say grace over an alcoholic drink and glorify God when drinking it. But for him, he could not. And that was fine. Furthermore, he knew that to impose artificial spiritual standards or his own personal convictions in this area on others, no matter how good his intentions may be, would be wrong because he would be demanding something that God himself does not enforce anywhere in scripture.  

So what he did, was to choose the higher more mature road. He turned others and their different convictions over to God and let them work it out. If they wanted to know what Harry's convictions were, he would tell them, but he would also encourage them to seek the Lord concerning how He would have them behave in this matter.

By having those green sheets removed, Harry made sure that the new church started off on the right foot---meaning that each believer was independently responsible to Jesus Christ for their actions in these areas that verse 1 calls "disputable matters" or "opinions."

Hence Paul tells us in verse 2-3, that we are not to despise those believers who don't agree with us in these areas, because God has already accepted those believers. He hasn't judged them. He loves them and has accepted them. Hence, if God has accepted them, with or without them practicing some of these disputable matters, then so should we.

Practically speaking, How do we go about truly accepting others? Here is just a brief set of examples:

Accepting others means not looking for every opportunity to debate over these issues. 

Accepting others means not trying to force your limited views on others. 

Accepting others means not trying to convince people that they need to violate their own conscience and do something they don't want to do. 

Accepting others, means leaving them to the Lord to work out their own salvation in these areas. 

Accepting others means not rejecting them or holding them off just because you don't agree on these non-essentials.

Accepting each other means grabbing the Christians hand next to you and telling them, "I'm going to be praying for you this week as you go out to share Jesus Christ with your friends and neighbors." 

Accepting one another is asking, "Is there anything I can specifically do to make your week more effective in your walk with the Lord?" 

Accepting that person means that although you two may not agree on some of these controversial issues, you choose to believe that God has already accepted that person and chooses to work through that person for His honor and glory.

Let's pray:

Father, thank you for so mercifully saving any of us fools. We think we know it all, but we don't. We tend to mistreat others when they don't agree with us in these social gray areas. Father, forgive us for our foolishness in the past. And may you continue to smile down on all of us, your children, as we seek to point others to our loving savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. Teach us to accept one another and support one another, even if we don't agree with on our personal performance in these areas. For we ask this in Jesus name.

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