FAMILY MATTERS

Romans 16
Bob Bonner
June 30, 1996

Probably the most important social unit today is the family. Even with the many variations we see today, those different forms of family from the traditional family of even 20 years, the family is THE place where our identity is born and nurtured. It is where our sense of worth is recognized. The great French writer, Andre Malraux said it well when he wrote, "Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold." [PARENTING, Bill Cosby, p.158]

Many, today, live without any family roots. They float adrift in the sea of society, alone, faceless to us, nameless to others. Do those who come from broken or dysfunctional homes or those who live thousands of miles away from their relatives ever have the hope of feeling part of a family again?

It all depends on what you consider a family to be? Websters Dictionary has several ways of defining what a "family" is. Here are a few of them: "A family is a group of people united by certain convictions; a group of persons of common ancestry; a group of individuals living under one head.” When we look at what the Bible declares the church to be, it is definitely a family, as Websters defines a family.

Christians, who make up the family of Christ, share the same convictions about who Jesus is. Although we may differ on some minor issues, the basic doctrines are held in common. Because Christians are born again in Jesus Christ, we have a common ancestry. Furthermore, as Christians, we live under one head, the head over even our savior Jesus Christ, and that would be God, the Father. 

Using Websters definition, the church is indeed a family. Many of you in this room have told us, in our "From the heart" time, how this body of believers has become more of a family to you than even your blood relatives.

This morning, as we look at this last chapter of the book of Romans, we are going to get an intimate look at the church family in Rome. We are going to being talking about family matters and that family, indeed matters. 

As the Apostle Paul closes down his letter to the church family in the city of Rome, he writes very intimately and warmly to them. This closing chapter of Romans is highly personal. This chapter speaks to three important aspects of the church family, not only in Rome but also here in Grants Pass. First, we want to look at the family members that made up the church at Rome and elsewhere. Then, we will look at some warnings Paul gives the church family concerning family predators, or those wolves in sheep's clothing who slip into church families and cause divisions and other problems. We will close our study of Romans with looking at the key figure, the most important person in the church family, that being the family's Father.

In this first section, the Family members, we are going to look at two church families. In verses 1-16, Paul writes about some of the family members who made up the church family at Rome. Then in verses 21-24, Paul refers to some of the church family members who were with him at the church of Corinth, the origin from which this letter was sent. In all, there are 36 different individuals named in this chapter. 

We will not necessarily look at them all in order. Instead, I have chosen to group them together under different headings. The first group we will be looking at are the worthy women mentioned by Paul.

Ever since the feminist movement began, a part of the Christian segment of feminism has given the apostle Paul a bum rap. He has been accused of being a male chauvinist, oppressing women, putting them down, treating them as though they were second class to males. He is not. One evidence that he was not a male chauvinist is how much room he takes in this chapter to point out specific women worthy of honorable mention. Furthermore, when we start looking at members he chose to remember in Rome, he began with a woman, and sprinkles women's names throughout this chapter. 

Paul beings with in verses 1-2. He says, "I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea; that you receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and that you help her in whatever matter she may have need of you; for she herself has also been a helper of many, and of myself as well." Of all the names listed in this chapter, Phoebe is the only person whom Paul commends.

Phoebe is pagan name, hence she is believed to be a gentile Christian. Her name means "brilliant" or "radiant". She hails from Cenchrea, which was one of two major sea ports of the city of Corinth.

Phoebe had a marvelous ministry with the apostle Paul. Paul calls her a "servant" or the Greek word from which we get our term for "deacon". This being called a "servant" has given rise to the ongoing debate of whether or not she held the official title or office of a deacon, or whether she was simply an outstanding servant at the church in Rome. It is a debate that will not be clearly decided either way. We make much more of a big deal about this today, than the women of Paul's day did. If you could ask Phoebe about whether she was an official deacon or not, she would have probably told you, "I could care less about titles. You can take 'em or leave. I am here to serve." 

We learn a lot about Phoebe and her attitudes from the term "helper" that Paul uses to describe her. This term was commonly used to describe a wealthy patron who would encourage and financially support an organization, cause or person. Paul tells us that she used her influence and financial means to help many believers and his ministry as well. It is further believed that she was so faithful at her task of serving the church that she was given the honor of being the official representative of the church at Corinth to take this very letter of Paul's to the church at Rome.

The next worthy woman mentioned is Mary in verse 6. Paul says, "Greet Mary, who has worked hard for you." Paul says that this Mary was a hard worker for the church at Rome. Paul probably heard about her from his contact with Aquila and Priscilla, a Christian couple from Rome, who had come temporarily moved to Corinth about the same time Paul arrived. This has given rise to the speculation that Mary was probably one of the founding members at the church at Rome, responsible for the spiritual and organization well-being of the church. Although she bore no title, she probably had the gift of helps and Paul felt it was necessary to honor her.

In verse 12, we have three more women mentioned. Paul states, "Greet Tryphaena and Tryphosa, workers in the Lord. Greet Persis the beloved, who has worked hard in the Lord." It's interesting how many of these women Paul praises not for their titles or mere close friendship, but for their toilsome work. They all served the Lord with their whole hearts. Tryphaena means "dainty" and Tryphosa means "delicate." These two women were probably twins because it was not uncommon in the ancient world to give twins names derived from the same root word. Their names suggest that they were probably aristocrats of a high station; which is further impressive considering how hard they worked for the Lord. They didn't just share their wealth with the church, they gave the Lord their time as well. These were women of character.

Of Persis, all we know is that her name means "persian woman". She too was probably a gentile convert, who worked hard.

The last woman I have chosen to put under this category of "worthy woman" is "Rufus' mother," in verse 13. Paul says of her, "Greet Rufus, a choice man in the Lord, also his mother and mine." First, who was Rufus? In the Gospel of Mark, which was written, by the way, in a bent for the Romans to better understand and appreciate who Jesus is, we learn that Simon of Cyrene was the father of Alexander and Rufus. If you remember, Simon was ordered by a Roman soldier to carry the cross of Jesus Christ. It is believed that Simon came to believe in Christ and lead his sons to Christ as well. Because Rufus' name is mentioned both here in Romans and in the gospel of Mark, we can assume that Rufus' was somewhat well known.

But of keener interest to me is Rufus' mother. At some point, this gentile saint adopted the ex-Jewish Pharisee, the apostle Paul as her son. Paul probably met her while in Antioch, in Acts 13. At the time, Paul was an outcast by the Jewish community. With little hope of being accepted, no kinsmen and no inheritance, Paul was welcomed by this woman with open arms, and he never forgot her.

The next category of names we want to look at, the significant singles are in verses 14-15. Although we could probably mix up these categories of mine a little, and put some of the women in this list from the previous list, I have chosen to note that this next group of Christians were more likely single and unmarried than married, yet active members in the family of God.

Paul writes, "Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas and the brethren with them. Greet Philologus and Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all the saints who are with them."

Of those mentioned in verse 14, they all had Greek names and were probably businessmen who had come to Rome and were now living together. Evidently, they were using their living quarters for a house church, and this singles group gathered together to worship and form an outreach to their community.

In verse 15, we have another singles group. One name that stands out in this group is that of "Nereus." Dr. William Barclay, a first century historian and theologian, tells us that Nereus, most likely was the same Nereus who was the house-keeper of a very prominent Roman citizen named Flavius Clemens, who was the Consul of Rome, the highest political office in the city. Apparently, Nereus was responsible for introducing Flavius and his wife to Christ. In 95 a.d., Flavius was condemned to death and his wife, Domatilla, also of royal blood exiled by the emperor, Domatian because of their commitment to Jesus Christ as their Lord. If this is true, we can see that Roman high society had already been infiltrated by the gospel long before Paul ever arrived at the city. It also explains why Paul, at the very outset of this letter states, "Your faith is being reported all over the world."

As a single person, anyone can have a significant ministry into the lives of others. Singles groups have a wonderful ministry to the entire body of Christ. They are freer and more available, due to not being tied down, to serve others and use their gifts for Jesus sake.

But married couples can have a significant ministry to the body as well. In fact, I like to ask those couples who want to get married, why do they think God has brought them together. What ministry can they better perform for the Lord as a couple than they could as singles? Most couples never think about that. But if the Lord over our lives who has left us her for the purpose of reaching the world for Christ, also calls us to marry someone, doesn't it make sense that somehow, He thinks that we can do a better job in a specific ministry married as we could single? So, married couples, what ministry together do you have for Christ? If you don't have one, why not?

Married couples, by the way, is the next group that we want to recognize from Paul's list here in Romans 16. I am calling them the courageous couples. The first couple is Priscilla and Aquila, in verses 3-5a. Paul writes, "Greet Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who for my life risked their own necks, to whom not only do I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles; also {greet} the church that is in their house."

Prisca is a shorter name, a term of endearment, used by Paul to show his fond affection for her. Her husband's name, Aquila is a roman name for "eagle." Paul loved both of these people because they risked their lives to minister to him and the rest of the church. Aquila and Priscilla had a sound knowledge of the gospel, great abilities and outstanding courage. 

Whenever this couple is mentioned in the scriptures, Priscilla's name always comes first. This may indicate that she had the more prominent spiritual leadership gifts or the more striking personality. Regardless, this couple always seemed to have people over or having church in their home. Their ministry of hospitality touched the lives of people all over the Roman empire.

The next couple mentioned here is found in verse 7. Paul says, "Greet Andronicus and Junias, my kinsmen, and my fellow prisoners, who are outstanding among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me."

Several things are noteworthy about this couple. First, they were "kinsmen" of Paul, meaning that they were fellow Jews. Second, they were saved in Jerusalem, before Paul, amongst the infant church, probably while they were on vacation or in Jerusalem on business. Third, Paul tells us that they were "outstanding among the apostles." Both NT commentators John Stott and James Boice point out that this statement in the original language is rather ambiguous. It could be understood that both of them were "apostles who were outstanding"; or that the "apostles considered them to be outstanding.”

If the first is correct, meaning that they both were outstanding apostles, that raises a question. Does it mean that both this man and his wife were considered apostles on an equal level as Christ's appointed 12 apostles? Or, does it mean, like every commentator I have found says, they were apostles in the basic meaning of the word apostle "sent ones" or what we would call "missionaries" today? If it in fact means they were apostles, then it would mean that Junias is the only female apostle identified in the scriptures. It would also mean that they were the only couple ever identified as both apostles. Even the Apostle Peter's wife was never identified as an apostle.

Most commentators sense, that in light of Paul's pointing out the hard working nature of the common people mentioned in this list so far would dictate that latter meaning of this statement, that the apostles considered this couple to outstanding servants of the Lord, who like missionaries took the gospel back to Rome and planted a church there.

The major point that need not be lost in all of this is that God uses couples together in ministry to get His mission accomplished.

The next group of people are a very savvy group of slaves in verses 8-11. These politically insignificant, most often poor slaves were used of God in their places of influence because they were wise in their spreading the gospel. Paul writes, "Greet Ampliatus, my beloved in the Lord. Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and Stachys my beloved. Greet Apelles, the approved in Christ. Greet those who are of the { household} of Aristobulus. Greet Herodion, my kinsman. Greet those of the {household} of Narcissus, who are in the Lord."

In the Catacomb of Domatilla, the Christian burial ground in Rome, this name, Ampliatus is carved on a stone over an ornately decorated tomb. Since this name is only one word, it indicates that he was a slave. Freemen had more than one name on their tombs. Since this slave's name was associated with Domatilla, this means that Ampliatus was a highly respected individual by the church leaders in Rome, even though he was a slave. 

All we know of Urbanus is that is name means "elegant" or "refined" He must have been a slave that carried himself very well.

In the ancient world, a freedman could have many slaves as his property. If that freedman died without any heirs, the estate was absorbed into the imperial household under the name of the man. Thus, we have the "household of Aristobulus" and the "household of Narcissus", groups of slaves who were taken over by the emperor.

According to Dr. Barclay, Aristobulus was the grandson of King Herod the Great and he lived in Rome. He was a behind the scenes, close friend of the emperor Claudius. The mention of Herodian, a relative of King Herod, along with these slaves supports the fact of Aristobulus' connection with the emperor.

Narcissus, on the other hand, from Roman history was the personal secretary of the Emperor Claudius. As a result, Narcissus became very wealthy. When the emperor Claudius was murdered and Nero took over, Nero forced Narcissus to commit suicide. In turn, Nero took over all of Narcissus slaves. 

Having these two groups of slaves move in under both Claudius' and Nero's roof was God's way of getting the gospel into the emperor's home, through the believing slaves.

Before we move on to the last group of believers mentioned by Paul in this letter, I'd like you to look at verses 22-23. In these two verses, Paul mentions two more slaves, but these slaves were serving Paul and the Lord, not in Rome, but there in Corinth, among the church, where Paul was writing this letter. Paul states, "I, Tertius, who write this letter, greet you in the Lord. Gaius, host to me and to the whole church, greets you. Erastus, the city treasurer greets you, and Quartus, the brother."

Slaves, often times were not named but numbered, especially the first four slaves. Slaves numbering one to four were top dog slaves, one being of more prominence than number four. Tertius was a slave who was actually penning this letter for Paul as he dictated it to Tertius. Then, Tertius probably asked Paul, "Hey, Paul, I have some friends in Rome, can I say "Hi" to them?" And Paul allowed him to in verse 22. Then, Paul, when he went back to dictating, in verse 23, looked around the room and saw slave Quartus, and sent on behalf of Quartus, greetings to Quartus' friends. Both of these slaves were probably some other Christians servants, called upon to take care of Paul's needs.

From the mention of these slaves, we can see that in the Roman church, and the Corinthian church whether you were a white collar business owner or a slave, it didn't matter as far as influence went. There were no distinctions in the early church, based upon wealth or position. The ground was level before the cross as far as spiritual influence went.

Many of you work in service positions such as waiters, secretaries, nurses and sales persons. Never underestimate your contribution to the body of Christ or the lives that God will call you to touch. I am humbled by several of you in this room, who quietly love others, reach out to others around you and lead them to Christ. You are important to God's work in this world.

The last group of individuals I will call the gracious gentry. These were the highly influential, rich and politically active Christians. But like the last two slaves, these men that Paul mentions lived in Corinth, and served the Lord every bit as much as the Christian slaves did. We find them mentioned in verse 21, and verse 23. Paul says in verse 21, " Timothy my fellow worker greets you, and {so do} Lucius and Jason and Sosipater, my kinsmen...." Timothy was half Greek and half Jew. Lucius and Jason and Sosipater were all Jews. All of these men did some traveling with Paul and or headed up churches throughout Greece. Jason was Paul's host while Paul visited the church at Thessalonica. Timothy, in order to afford travel had to be rich or like Paul have a patron or benefactor who helped him along the way at times. 

In verse 23 we meet two other individuals who were pretty wealthy. They were Gaius and Erastus. Gaius was not only Paul's host in Corinth, but also had the church worship at his home, Gaius had to live in a rather large estate. He certainly was not living in a 2,000 square foot home, which is pretty common today. Corinth was not a church of just 60 believers. There must have been hundreds if not thousands of believer in a city that big, even as early as the first century.

Erastus was an important public official in Corinth. The expression "city treasure" literally means "a clerk or commission of public works". In the city of Corinth, there is a block beside the road that bears Erastus' name. It says that Erastus was actually responsible for paving that section of road at his own expense. Paving highways has never been a cheap expense. So, Erastus has to have had some bit of money and position to do so. God used Erastus as an ambassador for Christ in his arena of influence.

The names in this chapter represent the typical kind of people that make up the average church. When we look at these names there are several lessons we can learn from them. First of all, we see a great deal of diversity in the church. We have male and female servants of Christ. We have rich and poor; slave and free; white collar and blue collar; single and married; Jew and gentile, young and old. 

Yet, with that diversity we have equality in that no one is more important or more deeply loved by God. We have been called and gifted to different functions and assignments, but equally loved and valued by Christ. 

Thirdly, the people listed here were unified. Although socially and economically different, they were friends working together unified in serving Jesus Christ. Each person was important: each was listened to, noticed and respected. As a body, they worked together to reach their world for Christ.

Furthermore, I see four qualities of these believers at Rome that made their church effective for Christ. Measure your own life against these qualities.

First, each of these mentioned believers had made Christ Lord or master or boss over their lives. The deliberately and consciously chose to serve him rather than their own selfish interests and pleasures. Many of them risked their lives for the privilege of following Jesus Christ. How about you?

In Rome, the house churches didn't allow their diversity to keep them from loving each other. When they became aware of another's need, they demonstrated their love by meeting that need. If your circle of friends with whom you fellowship on include a small strata of people or a small circle of friends, you are robbing yourself and the rest of the body of the pleasure of getting to know you.

Third, they were devoted to service. These believers didn't leave the ministry to the paid professionals. They got involved. Are you?

Finally, they gave a courageous witness to the world. They knew that this earth was not their home. They saw themselves as aliens headed for a heavenly home. When you saw their check book registers, their appointment books or calendars, those things reflected where their priorities lay.

If their government was over thrown or the economics of their country failed, no problem. They would keep on serving the Lord, reaching out to people rather than trying first and foremost to hang on to their rights or their standard of living. Slaves have no rights. Aliens are not citizens of this world trying to maintain their position in this world. They care mostly about the next. How about us? What kind of family members are we?

The next verses, verses 17-20 are words of warning concerning family predators. And by predators, I mean people who will try to abuse or take advantage of other Christians, bringing harm and disillusionment to the rest of the local fellowship.

In this country, emotional, physical and sexual abuse of children is on the rise. But what is most alarming is the statistics that reveal that the predators of our children are not strangers, but they are family members or friends close to the family. That sickens me. But what is interesting to me from these next verses is that those who are predators on the church family most often are not people outside the body of Christ, but Christians from within the body who have maybe been a part of a local fellowship, actively involved for years.

In these verses, Paul gives us three instructions concerning family predators. The first is found in the first part of verse 17. Paul states, " Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned,..." First, he says be on the lookout or watch out for predators. Well, what to these predators look like? Interestingly enough, Paul does not mention those people who introduce strange heresies or incorrect doctrine as his prime concern, although this does sometimes happens. But instead, he tells us that first, these predators are people who cause dissensions or are divisive.

Often times, these predators show up in a congregating suddenly, usually from another church where they have also caused trouble, but nobody in the present church knows that. These predators are knowledgeable and usually have considerable abilities or spiritual gifts. They are leaders in that they are enthusiastic, have time to lead and people will follow them. Generally, they are used to teaching and want to fill that role. Sometimes, they will use their teaching position to push their favorite doctrinal hobby horse. At other times, they will use their position to be critical of people who do not see things as they do or join their efforts to minister to others. Pretty soon, these predators want or demand leadership. Their attitudes reveal arrogance and stubbornness. If they disagree with leadership, they are not respectful, gentle or patient to understand why the leadership is operating the way they are. Instead, the predator pushes, becomes divisive and take couples away from the church to start their own fellowship.

In Paul's letter to Titus, he instructs Titus that if the leadership in the church spots a divisive person, warn them once. If they continue, kick them out. In the past, we have had to do that here. It wasn't a very pleasant experience and many of the people did not understand what or why because we felt a certain responsibility to protect the predator so as to educate the predator as to his foolishness. No matter what the leadership does when a predator makes his presence known, people get hurt and questions remain unanswered. Paul says, first, be on the alert, because if you have a fellowship living for the Lord, predators will show up.

Paul also describes these predators as individuals who put "hindrances" before the other believers. Here, the term is the word from which we get our word, "scandalous" and refers not to scandalous behavior so much as it does to people adding things to the gospel. A typical group of this kind of predator in NT times would be the Pharisees who had become Christians and all of their social and cultural taboos, religious observances that they put on people. People like this don't deny the essentials of the Christian faith, but insist on conformity by everyone to their way of thinking concerning these other issues.

Hence, to these predators, we are to be on constant alert. But in the last part of the verse, he adds a second instruction. He says, that once you discover them, "...turn away from them. For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting." In other words, separate from the predators.  If need be, remove them.

Then, finally he says, in verses 19-20, "For the report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good, and innocent in what is evil. And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you." Simply put, each believer is challenged to grow in our discernment as to what is good and evil (without practicing evil, but reading about it) and obey what is right.

In the last three verses of this book, Paul concludes this section on family matters with a look to the most important person in the family, the Father, God. Paul wants us to remember who He is and what He is like.

In verse 25a, He states, "Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ,..."  God is able or Paul wants us to be reminded of the power of God in that God will finish the work he began in you. He will establish you cause you to grow according to all of his promises found in the gospel. He will never let you down. He will not falter. You will arrive safe and secure, once you have put your trust in Christ as your Lord and savior. Our God is the all powerful promise keeping God.

Secondly we note that our God is someone who desperately wants us to relate to Him. So desirous is He that you and I get to know Him, that He has give us His written word to learn of him. The rest of verse 25- 26 states, "...according to the revelation of the mystery which has been kept secret for long ages past, but now is manifested, and by the Scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandment of the eternal God, has been made known to all the nations,..." God is a god of communication. He is not distant, off somewhere and could care less what you think know or do. He wants you to know Him and his will for your life. He has provided you with the scriptures, with teachers of the scriptures, whether they be preachers, Sunday School teachers or authors of books. He wants us to know Him.

But with that knowledge, we realize that God does not reveal Himself to us for no reason. He is a God of expectation. For the end of verse 26, tells us one of the reasons that He communicates to us through His word is that it would "lead to obedience of faith;" God reaches out to you with the expectation that you will obey Him. He doesn't want to be taken for granted or to communicate to you simply to hear himself talk. He expects you to listen and obey Him. Not to, will lead to His discipline in your life, just like a loving father will discipline his children.

Verse 27 adds, "to the only wise God,..." Who else could have worked out the idea and effects of justification (1-4) of sinners; the sanctification (5-8) of sinners but an all wise God? Who else could display his plan for the ages (9-11) but an all wise God. Our God is a god of wisdom. 

Therefore, because of the worthiness of God, Paul closes with the idea that we should seek to glorify Him forever. He states "...through Jesus Christ, be the glory forever. Amen.”

Allow me to close with these applications to you as fellow believers and family members of Crossroads:

As a family member:
A. You are a uniquely called member, get/stay involved.
B. Watch out for predators.
C. Stay close to the Father.

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