WHAT TO DO WHEN CONFLICT ARISES - VI

Titus 3:9-11; 1 Corinthians 5
Bob Bonner
October 11, 2009

Across America today, there is much going on in the lives of Christians who make up the church that has become sickeningly immoral and in need of revival. The overall church’s allowance for habitual sin to exist among its members has lessened the church’s respectability, credibility, and the worthiness of its voice to be heard or even taken seriously by those outside. Furthermore, it has been my observation over the years that the larger the church congregation, the greater the possibility that habitual, sinful behavior will go unrecognized by the leadership of the church. It is for this reason that the rest of the individuals of the church need to understand their God-given responsibility as spelled out in the Bible and to take steps to confront habitual, unrepentant behavior in the church.

When members in a church do confront one who needs correction and find that the habitual, unrepentant member rejects their correction, what are they to do? The Bible says they are to make it known to the leadership of the church. Until that happens, one ought not to condemn leadership for not reacting to the sin in the church if they have no knowledge of it. 

This leads us to the next question in our series concerning resolving conflict in the church. That question is, “What happens when the leadership/church don’t follow God’s instructions concerning unrepentant sin in the church?” 

In order to answer that question, we are going to look at a situation that took place in the first century church at Corinth. It is laid out for us in 1 Corinthians 5. In this case everybody in the church, including the leadership, was aware of the particular incestuous relationship that was going on among them, and they did nothing about. It was for this reason that Paul wrote these words: 

^{1It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and}

immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the

Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife. ²You have become

arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had

done this deed would be removed from your midst. ³For I, on my

part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already

judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present.

⁴In the name of our Lord Jesus, when you are assembled, and I

with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus, ⁵I have

decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his

flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

⁶Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven

leavens the whole lump of dough? ⁷Clean out the old leaven so that

you may be a new lump, just as you are in fact unleavened. For

Christ our Passover also has been sacrificed. ⁸Therefore let us

celebrate the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of

malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity

and truth. ⁹I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral

people; ¹⁰I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this

world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for

then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to

you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral

person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a

swindler—not even to eat with such a one. ¹²For what have I to do

with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the

church? ¹³But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the

wicked man from among yourselves.

From Paul’s words, we learn that the church in Corinth, both its leadership and its members, had a very permissive attitude toward a man in the congregation who was committing incest. As one reads Paul’s argument, it is clearly addressed to the church and its failure to act. Paul’s words are not addressed to the actual one who was living in an incestuous relationship with his stepmother. From Paul’s words, we can see that this congregation distinguished itself by its arrogance and boasting about its spirituality, all the while exhibiting its failure to mourn habitual, unrepentant sin taking place among them.

As we look at this passage of scripture, it breaks into two major sections. In the first part, verses 1-8, Paul explained his reaction to this situation and demanded that his readers take a different view of immorality than the one they held. With the proper view in mind, there was only one thing they could do with this Christian who deliberately and blatantly was living in sin--Paul instructs them to remove him.  Then, in part two of this section, verses 9-13, he explains how this one is to be removed.

Let’s look more closely at part one, verses 1-8. In verse 1, Paul explains that this problem was widely known outside the church of Corinth. News of this situation had not only been known by non-Christians in Corinth, but had also reached him in Ephesus, where he penned this letter. When Paul writes, “It is actually reported,” the verb tense he used suggests that this report of the allowance of the church to permit the evil to continue and the failure to stop it is continuing to spread throughout Asia.

The evil or sin that is reported is called “immorality,” a Greek term that is always used pejoratively. It is a term which covers all sexual sins outside of a heterosexual marriage, such as premarital sexual relationships, extramarital relationships, and other sexual aberrations including homosexuality. So horrible was this sexual sin of incest, that even the unbelievers in Corinth were shocked by the news of its practice in the church. As depraved as Greek culture was, even the pagans looked down on incest, and, according to Cicero’s writings and that of others we know of, such immorality was strictly forbidden by Roman law.

The precise offense in this case was sexual union with the woman who had married the guilty man's father. The woman involved was not his real mother. Had she been, other more appropriate Greek terms would have been used to describe her. Evidently the woman was his stepmother, and she may have been close to his own age. The fact that Paul calls for no disciplinary actions be taken toward the woman leaves open the possibility that she was not a Christian, and thus there was no need for steps of discipline to be taken against here. And if that were the case, it would also suggest a doubly troublesome sin of a Christian unequally yoking himself with someone who was not committed to Christ.

Another observation that helps us better understand this particular situation is the verb in verse 1, translated, "to have his father’s wife." When used in a sexual or marital context, it is a euphemism for a continuing relationship in contrast to a "one night stand." This man and woman were "living together."

The Corinthians' attitude about this situation was even worse than the sin itself. Rather than mourning over it and disciplining the offender, they became prideful. What they were prideful in is difficult to determine. It could be that they were either proud of being so tolerant or so proud of other areas of spiritual success in their church life that they ignored this situation. It’s hard to be sure about this. But what is obvious from this passage is the principle that any church that does not take seriously and mourn over sin within its own fellowship is on the edge of spiritual disaster.

As we continue through this study of discipline, allow me to remind you that the practice of discipline is not inconsistent with love. In fact, just the opposite is true. The lack of discipline is inconsistent with love. Hebrews 12:6 says, “Those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives.” If you truly care about others, you instruct them, even through discipline.

In verses 3-5, Paul is essentially saying, “Since all of you, both leadership and congregation, have failed to do what is right according to Matthew 18:15-17, here is what I have already done and declare to you. Even though I am not there, this case is so clear and the evidence indisputable that I don’t need to be present to know the man was guilty of a serious offense that requires strong treatment. Therefore, I’m declaring by the authority invested me as an apostle, in the name and power of Jesus Christ, that this one has been turned over to Satan for the ‘destruction of his flesh.’” The destruction of his flesh means that this person has been removed from the protection, care, and encouragement of fellow believers. As a result, he is exposed to whatever Satan may want to do to this person, including take his physical life.  The reason for taking this action against this unrepentant believer was that ultimately the man’s life would be rescued. It is Paul’s hope that, apart from the care and support of other Christians, the sinning brother might come more quickly to his senses, repent, and return to fellowship with Christ. In the words of Jesus, Paul’s goal was to “win his brother.”  However, if the brother continued in sin, he might even experience premature death. 

I understand the statement, “so that his spirit might be saved,” to refer to the ongoing saving work of the Spirit, that transforming work whereby a believer is being conformed to the image of Christ. This work of salvation continues until its completion “in the day of the Lord Jesus,” when we see Jesus face to face.

Another purpose for discipline is to not just bring the individual to his senses but to get the attention of the rest of the believers about what God considers important and to what He has called them. This was the result of Peter's dealings with Ananias and Sapphira, though the text in Acts 5 does not say that they were delivered to Satan “for the destruction of their flesh.”  However, as a result of their dropping dead upon the spot, Luke tells us in verse 11, “And great fear came upon the whole church, and upon all who heard of these things.” As a result of God’s discipline in taking these believers lives, not only did the church wake up to the seriousness of God’s calling upon their lives to be holy, but those who were not part of the church recognized that the Christians’ God was not one to mess with. 

Another case of Paul calling upon God to bring premature death on others is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 11:30, for their improper conduct during the Lord's Supper. Once more, Paul passed similar judgment on Hymenaeus and Alexander in 1Timothy 1:20.

In verses 6-8, Paul mixes the images of unleavened bread and the Passover lamb. In Jewish life, it was customary to throw away all the leaven (yeast) in the house when the family prepared for the Passover celebration. They did this so that the bread they made for Passover and the feast of Unleavened Bread that followed would be completely free of leaven. The unleavened bread image pushes the Christians in the church at Corinth to think of themselves differently—as an unleavened or a holy and set apart community for God that demonstrates through their morality, honesty, and dependability that they are indeed of God. On the contrary, permissiveness toward sin spreads in the church as yeast does in dough. Eventually the whole moral fabric of the congregation would suffer if the believers did not expunge this sin. Hence, this action of discipline was for the future spiritual health of the other Christians in the church.

In verse 7, there is an interesting observation concerning this verb to “clean out.” The verb tense emphasizes not just the need to presently clean out sin, but to stay alert and to keep on cleaning it out when it raises its ugly head. This is to be an ongoing sanctifying process for the church, just as it is in the individual’s personal life. This is not a call to become sin sniffers in others’ lives, ready to jump on someone at the first sign of failure. However, it is a call to be on the alert for habitual patterns of the unrepentant. Some would like to punish or reject or publicly discipline Christians who are struggling with sin in a particular area of their lives, but haven’t conquered it. But that is wrong. Matthew 18 as well as 1 Corinthians 5 point to action of discipline only when one is not repentant or is not demonstrating any desire to change.

Furthermore in verse 7, “Christ our Passover” is tying together the Passover Lamb and Christ’s death on the cross. Then in verse 8, “celebrate the feast” refers to the same feast to which Paul later refers in 1 Corinthians 11, that of communion, the Lord’s Table. Amazingly, 1 Corinthians 11 records that at the communion meal where the Lord’s Table was celebrated, sin was being tolerated. As a result, not only there in chapter 11 but here in verse 11, Paul repeats his emphatic statement, “not even to eat with such a one.” He wants them to stop devaluing the sanctity of the Lord’s Table by allowing such people and actions to go unchecked.

So in light of these two images, what are the church, the people, and the leadership to do in such a case? We are to clean out the leaven, the unrepentant sinner, from among us. But how? That is the subject of the last part of chapter 5:9-13. Let’s reread those verses.

⁹I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; ¹⁰I

did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world [a

reference to non-Christians], or with the covetous and swindlers, or

with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 

¹¹But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called

brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a

reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a

one. ¹²For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not

judge those who are within the church? ¹³But those who are

outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among

yourselves.

In order to correctly grasp what Paul’s instructions are here, we must understand what the Corinthian Christians understood concerning the meanings of “do not associate with such a one” and his exhortation “not even to eat with such a one.” As I have researched various commentators’ conclusions on this question, I have found primarily two points of view, which are held by almost an equal number of conservative, God-honoring Christians. Whichever view is the correct one, before God you must decide.

One view of to “not associate with” means to not have any public or private contact with or to be seen in any social setting with a rebellious sinning Christian, because by doing so others might get the wrong idea. Others might perceive your association with such a person as an acceptance of his behavior. 

The second view stresses that to “not associate with” points to not allowing participation in corporate Christian fellowship, but maintaining contact with the sinning believer so as to “win them back” to obedience to Christ, that their lives might be blessed. Hence, by non-association it would mean exclusion from worship services, Sunday School, home groups, Bible Studies, communion, leadership, and even Christian social events. As I have researched these two views and tried to reconcile them with Christ’s and the apostle Paul’s other words about “winning your sinning brother,” forgiving, restoring, and admonishing, I find the latter view more convincing and potentially more pragmatically worthy of reaching your sinning brother than the former.

You may not agree with me, and that is fine. There are godly people who hold both views. But there are two things on which all of the scholars agree. We are not to sit on the sidelines and do nothing when habitual, unrepentant sin takes place. Secondly, we agree that as it concerns the leadership’s responsibility, they, at a minimum, are to restrict the unrepentant sinner from corporate worship and fellowship in that which are specifically Christian activities. 

As to your own personal stance about how God wants you to deal with your relationship with an habitual, unrepentant sinner, (Do you have them over to dinner? Do you go camping with them?) you must seek God’s direction in such private situations. The decision as to whether or not God wants you to avoid all contact with the sinning brother until repentance takes place or to have selective contact with him, with the purpose to aggressively keep reaching out or building a bridge so as to win him, will be between you and the Lord. 

Allow me to briefly explain why I join those Biblical scholars who do not see Paul’s instructions to “not associate with” as prohibiting Christians from hanging out with unrepentant, sinning Christians in social gatherings

In verses 6-8, the two images that Paul points to are both representative of public corporate worship, Passover and the feast of Unleavened Bread. Further, in the early history of the church, eating together was a large part of the fellowship that the Christians enjoyed with one another (Acts 2:46-47, 6:1).  In addition, Paul ties these two feasts to “the feast” in verse 8 that we call Communion, the one from chapter 11 where Paul repeats his instruction of “not to even eat with.” Hence, it is the understanding of many scholars that the eating here is not your normal socializing, but rather the customary practice of Christian fellowship at the time, when Christians ate a meal together followed by communion. Admittedly, this specific application of discipline today does not carry as much of an impact as it did back then, because we don’t usually gather together for a full meal followed by communion. Today, most churches corporately observe the Lord's Supper only monthly.

Allow me a couple of quick observations from this text before we wrap up. Note Paul’s words in verses 9-10. Paul did not want there to be any misunderstanding concerning the target of non-association. He did not want Christians to avoid non-Christians in any arena. Just as our Lord Jesus Christ ate with publicans and sinners, so should we. We are not to isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. To take that approach to life is both unrealistic and unfaithful to God who has called us to be salt and light in the world.

Also, in verse 11 the Greek phrase translated "so-called brother" literally means one who bears the name “brother.” The expression implies that maybe this person was claiming to be a Christian, but in fact, really was not. Only God and that person knew for sure. Hence, there is even more reason to treat him as a non-believer, which would mean at the very minimum to keep in contact with or to associate with him socially so as to win him to Christ.

Finally, notice the Greek terms used in verse 11. This list of sins, in Greek, indicates not one-time actions, but habitual patterns of behavior from which there has been no attempt to turn away. Hence it should be obvious, that every time a Christian sins, church discipline is not demanded. On the other hand, the church in this country generally has failed to love the Lord and His church family enough to obey God when unrepentant, habitual sinners exist in their congregations. By refusing to remove such believers, we have weakened the church and given the world less of a cause to listen to or believe the Gospel we preach. This, by the way, if you remember our study of Titus, is the very message of Paul to Titus and the Christians on the island of Crete--to live in such a godly manner that their lives validate their message.

Here is one last thought. Please turn with me to 2 Corinthians 2 and look at what the late Paul Harvey used to call “The rest of the story.”  We don’t know for sure that this reference to the Christian who had been living in sin and had been disciplined by the church for such a lifestyle is one and the same as the one mentioned in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians. But in all likelihood, since that situation had caused such a great stir requiring an entire chapter to be dedicated to the situation, this is probably the same person, making this the epilogue or “the rest of the story.”

As you will see, Paul is writing here to the majority, probably both the leadership and the rest of the congregation, that took Paul seriously in his first letter to remove the sinning Christian from their fellowship. And as a result of doing what God said, the individual repented or turned away from his sinful activity. In essence, the goals of Matthew 18 were reached. So, let’s look at Paul’s concluding remarks to this situation. Follow along as I read 2 Corinthians 2:1-11.  “¹But I determined this for my own sake, that I would not come to you in sorrow again. ²For if I cause you sorrow, who then makes me glad but the one whom I made sorrowful?” Paul’s point here is that he knew that in his previous letter, his correction of them for not having removed the sinning brother from fellowship stung them. It was necessary, but still no one, including Paul, enjoys making people sad through having to correct them. So Paul goes on to write: 

³This is the very thing I wrote you, so that when I came, I would not

have sorrow from those who ought to make me rejoice; having

confidence in you all that my joy would be the joy of you all. ⁴For

out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with

many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you

might know the love which I have especially for you. ⁵But if any has

caused sorrow, [Here you will see that this “any” refers to the sinning

brother who had been the object of the problem in the church and the

sorrow that ensued.] he has caused sorrow not to me, but in some

degree—in order not to say too much—to all of you. ⁶Sufficient for

such a one [Once more, he is now speaking of the reinstated repentant

brother.] is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, ⁷so

that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him,

otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

⁸Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him.

Once again, Paul wants the winning of the brother to be felt by the brother. He doesn’t want the brother to have to return feeling like he has to tuck his tail between his legs like a bad dog. Rather, he is to be welcomed in love like the father welcomed his prodigal son in the story Jesus tells in Luke 15. As God’s authority on the spot, he writes these next words as words of reassurance, not only to the church but to the one who repented, that he stands with them, unashamed of them. Paul writes:

⁹For to this end also I wrote, so that I might put you to the test,

whether you are obedient in all things. ¹⁰But one whom you forgive

anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have

forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ,

¹¹so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not

ignorant of his schemes.

Church discipline for the purpose of winning a fellow believer is never easy. It is painful and sorrowful. Hence, Paul returns to this subject several chapters later in 2 Corinthians 7:8-10. Paul finishes with these words: 

⁸For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it;

though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow,

though only for a while— ⁹I now rejoice, not that you were made

sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of

repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of

God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. ¹⁰For

the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a

repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of

the world produces death. 

Church discipline is never easy or at the moment fun. It is painful and sorrowful. Discipline hurts. But Godly discipline, although it hurts in the beginning, produces life so that in the end, no one regrets the pain but rejoices in the spiritual health that has resulted and in the winning of the brother. Hence, when we take the Biblical steps to resolve conflicts with a sinning fellow Christian, don’t be afraid of the pain that may come as the result of the immediate rejection by the others or by the one being disciplined. Be obedient in love so as to win your brother. Keep in mind God’s Word which states in Hebrews 12:11, “All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” 

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